


A Past Laid Buried

by kimiobsessed



Series: Carol: Abby Saves the Day Series [2]
Category: Carol (2015)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Death, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Minor Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:27:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 79,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27249544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimiobsessed/pseuds/kimiobsessed
Summary: The sequel you asked for!If you haven't read Abby Saves the Day, I recommend doing that before delving into this.Abby is going to get a love interest, but things will not be easy.  Secrets in Carol's past will disrupt all of their lives.
Relationships: Abby Gerhard/Original Character(s), Carol Aird/Abby Gerhard, Carol Aird/Therese Belivet
Series: Carol: Abby Saves the Day Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1989511
Comments: 247
Kudos: 150





	1. And ending and a beginning

**Author's Note:**

> So many of you begged me to write about Abby and the doctor, so here it is! I sketched out the whole plot, but I haven't written more than the first two chapters. It will be filled with angst, and obviously a lot of psychology.
> 
> Will our superhero get her happy ending? 
> 
> Remember, I edit all of my own work, so please forgive any errors and typos. Kudos and comments are love!

Carol had been in therapy for eight months. Overall, her mood swings were much better and her relationships with both her daughter and Therese was flourishing. She was happy! There was one nagging issue on her conscience, and as this was her last appointment, Carol knew it was now or never.

“Carol, come in!” Doctor Green welcomed her into the office she was now so familiar with. She looked around the dark mahogany walls, green curtains, and stripped chairs that had been witness to so many secrets and shared moments between doctor and patient. 

“How are you feeling?” starting the appointment the way she always did and motioned for Carol to sit.

“Oh, you know, hopeful, happy, and…apprehensive.” Carol offered.

The beautiful, brunette doctor tilted her head. She lowered her glasses on her nose, looking over the top of the lenses. “Apprehensive? Has something happened? Or are you just nervous about ending our sessions?”

“Nothing like that. Rindy is wonderful. My life with Therese is a dream come true. It's December and we are getting ready to celebrate our first REAL Christmas together. I mean life could just not be better.” Carol smiled.

“So why the anxiousness? Are you worried about New Year's?” the doctor asked, still looking over her glasses.

Carol shifted and looked down, which was a signal to the doctor that Carol was indeed worried about New Year's, but she didn't want to discuss it. “Actually, I’m worried about Abby, doctor.”

“I see. And is there a particular concern?” She pushed her glasses back up. “She’s not still pining over you, is she?”

“Not at all. I think once Therese moved in and she saw me truly happy she was able to let go. In fact, there is another woman that has peaked her interest.”

“And does that upset you? Seeing Abby move on?” Dr. Green questioned, wondering why they were discussing Abby if it wasn’t really relevant to Carol’s problems.

Carol smiled, “I would be so happy if Abby finally met the right person and settled down.”

“Well then I have to ask you again, Carol, why are you feeling apprehensive? It appears that things between you and Abby are fine. You say things between you and Therese are good. Where is your anxiety coming from?”

Carol shifted nervously in her chair again. “Well you see, doctor, about a year ago, Abby met someone that she was immediately attracted to, but the situation at the time was…problematic.”

“Uh-huh,” the doctor nodded, still not seeing the connection. “You know, Carol, this is our last appointment and I really feel we should focus on your and not Abby’s personal life.”

“It’s you.” Carol said quickly  
.  
“Me what.” Confusion swam over the brunette’s face.

“Abby was attracted to you, doctor.” It was out! Finally! “I’m sorry, I know it is highly unconventional for me to even mention it.”

Dr. Green stood from her chair, clearly uncomfortable. She walked behind her desk and sat down before acknowledging what Carol had said. “Unconventional, to say the least.”

“I understand, Dr. Green, if you cannot entertain the…” Carol said as she shook her head.

“Entertain?” The doctor interrupted. “Carol, the ethical issues alone are…I mean…you are my patient!” 

“Soon to be former patient.” Carol corrected. 

The doctor just glared at her from behind her desk. “Formalities.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” The air in the office was tense. “I just promised her that I would at least introduce to two of you."

The doctor sat back in her desk chair. “Didn’t we meet last year when you were in the hospital?”

“You did, briefly, but she rushed out to help me take care of my...well, mess.”

“I remember. Carol,” the doctor sighed, “this is highly…I mean…I appreciate...” She pulled her glasses off and left them hanging around her neck. She was clearly flustered. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Please think nothing more of it. I really shouldn’t have even mentioned it.” Carol apologized.

“No, no, no…it’s fine. But we really should get back to you. Are you sure you feel ready to end our sessions?” Doctor Green stood back up and walked back over the chair across from Carol, feeling more comfortable now that dating Abby was no longer the topic of conversation. 

“I am strong, happy, and building the life I dreamed of with Therese. I can’t think of anything more we have to deal with,” Carol said honestly.

“Really? There were a lot of issues you avoided, Carol. Specifically, I’m thinking of discussions about your mother and father and I worry…”

Carol interrupted. “I do not have any contact with my family, doctor. And some things are best left in the past where they belong.” The dark clouds swirled through Carol’s blue-grey eyes.

“Your change in demeanor just now tells me otherwise,” the doctor explained.

“What good does it possibly do to dredge it all up? I mean, I am happier and more stable than I have ever been.” Carol was shutting down the topic again. 

Dr. Green knew this would cause her problems one day in the future, but she was determined not to push her. “You know I cannot force you to talk about it if you do not want. Just know that my door will always be open.”

“I appreciate that.” Carol said, relaxing.

“Well, I do have some paperwork that I need you to complete for me. It will take you some time. If there is nothing more you wish to speak of, we can probably finish a bit early.” Doctor Green stood again and grabbed a stack of papers of her desk. “It’s a bunch of hospital forms, insurance forms and such.”  
Carol nodded accepting the papers and pen. 

Once she finished the paperwork and said her good-byes, Carol made her way down to the hospital lobby. Though she had enjoyed her appointments with Dr. Green for the most part, she was glad to be rid of this place. She looked around for her dinner date who was not due for another few minutes. Looking at her watch and seeing she had a few minutes to wait, Carol made her way over to the pay phones.

“Hello?” The sweet voice answered.

“Hello my love. I just wanted to hear your voice. How are you?”

“I thought you were having dinner with Abby?” Therese asked. 

“I am, she just isn’t here yet. Are you sure you are okay by yourself for while?” 

“Carol, you ask me this every time you go out with Abby. I have plenty to do,” Therese explained. “I have a ton of photos to develop and it will take me a few hours. In fact, you will probably be home before I finish, so make sure you come pull me from the darkroom when you get home.”

“I will, if just to shove you in the shower! You know I cannot stand the smell of those chemicals.” Carol laughed. “Okay, angel. See you soon. I love you!”

“Love you, too” Therese answered before hanging up the phone.

Stepping out of the phone booth, Carol walked back towards the hospital lobby. She froze, her jaw hitting the floor when she looked out and saw Abby talking to Dr. Green. She watched from a distance, not wanting to interrupt their interlude. She saw the doctor place something in Abby’s hand. Was she imagining things, or did she just do that in a most seductive way? Maybe there was hope for Abby after all, Carol thought.

After they parted, Carol made her way into the lobby.

“There you are!” Abby said enthusiastically.

Carol just smiled slyly. “I had to make a call.”

“And how is Therese?” Abby asked, knowing that Carol could not go for long without talking to her girlfriend. 

“She is divine. Are you ready? I’m starved!” The started to walk towards the exit door. “So, are we going to talk about what just happened?”

Abby smirked, “Not until I’ve had a martini!”


	2. Dinner and Drinks

Abby and Carol sat in their favorite booth at their favorite restaurant, with their second round of martini’s as they awaited the arrival of their dinner.

“Do not get me drunk, Abby.” Carol demanded, her speech slow and already showing signs of intoxication. “Therese will have my ass if I come home drunk again.”

“I mean…would that really be so bad?” Abby laughed. 

It took a few seconds, but Carol finally got the joke and laughed so hard her eyes were watering. “Now that’s something we haven’t tried yet.”

“Yet?” Abby raised an eyebrow. “Things getting adventurous in the Aird-Belivet boudoir?” 

“No comment,” Carol smirked and laughed again.

The waiter arrived with their meals and they managed to stop giggling long enough to enjoy their food.

Seemingly out of nowhere, “Are you sure you are okay with this?” Abby asked.

“Dinner? Yes!” Carol joked, knowing full well what she was referring to. She let out an exasperated sigh, “I told you, Abby, I am perfectly fine with it. She will not be my therapist anymore and it isn’t like I said anything in that office that you do not already know.”

“But did you talk about me?” 

“Of course, I did.” Carol rolled her eyes. 

“Good stuff?” she asked.

“She gave you her card, didn’t she?” Carol took another bite of her food as she rolled her eyes.

“Well maybe you told her I was crazy as a loon and she was just offering to schedule an appointment.” Abby said as she took another long sip of her martini. 

“Hmmm…you’re probably right.” Carol agreed. “So, are you going to call her?”

“Do you think I should, really?” Abby was cute when she was insecure, which did not happen very often. 

Carol reached out and placed her hand on top of Abby’s as a more serious tone took over. “More than anything, I want you to be happy. I want you to find someone that makes you feel the way Therese makes me feel. Maybe she will be the one? I mean clearly you are very interested in her.”

“What makes you think that?” Abby mocked offense. 

“The fact that you have asked me if I was done with therapy after every single appointment, or maybe the fact that you refer to her as the beautiful, brunette, doctor, or maybe…” 

“Yeah, yeah…I get the point.” Abby hummed, “She’s just so captivating. Her long brown hair, and there are red highlights in there, too. The smile and her brown eyes and I love the glasses. They give her that sexy, intelligent look.”

Carol grinned, “Miss Gerhard, For someone who has only seen my therapist a few times, you sure know an awful lot about her. I believe you have paid more attention to her than I have, and I am the one that pays her! You definitely need to call her because you are clearly smitten.”

"Alright, I will call her." Abby said with a lopsided grin before adding, "As long as you are okay with it." 

"I swear to God," Carol took the olive off the toothpick in her martini and threw it at Abby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really happy with this chapter, but I did want to get something out. You have all been very patient, but life is finally returning to normal, post hurricane! I did got back and delete the "personal update" chapter.
> 
> Also, I went back and made a few edits to the first chapter, just changing some specifics such as how long Carol had been in therapy and time of year, etc.


	3. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our girls have their first real Christmas together.

Christmas Eve night

Carol and Therese sat snuggled on the couch as Christmas music played softly on the radio and the light from the Christmas tree filled the room. There were only a few boxes left under the tree since Rindy had come to spend the day with them and had already opened her gifts. Harge had picked her up that evening so that she could be home on Christmas morning for Santa. 

“I’m exhausted,” Carol whispered as her head fell back. “But spending the day with Rindy was wonderful.” The three of them had made Christmas cookies, opened presents, and played all afternoon. 

“It was a really great day and I think Rindy loved the toys we got her. I am sad that we won’t have her this weekend, though. It just seems unfair that we had to give up the whole weekend for one day. And how did you explain how we already had some gifts from Santa?” Therese looked up questioningly.

“That was…tricky.” Carol sighed. “I said something about Santa delivering some gifts early because he had so many stops and how he knew that she had two homes. I do wish we could have her Christmas morning for the true Santa experience, but I can't lie; I am also excited to get a weekend alone with you.” Carol turned her head and kissed Therese on the neck just below her ear. “We haven’t had a whole weekend alone together in quite a while and it is our first Christmas together, I mean REALLY together, and I have some ideas as to how to spend it.”

Therese moaned as Carol continued to plant small kisses up and down her neck as her hand slowly moved up and down her thigh. She turned and looked into lust filled blue-grey eyes. “I think I know at least one of these ideas.” 

“Do you see that Christmas tree over there?” Carol asked in a low sultry voice. “I want to unwrap you like the amazing gift that you are and make love to you under that tree.”

“Do you think Santa would approve?” Therese giggled as she intertwined her fingers with Carol’s, slowly stood and walked them over to the tree. “I mean I wouldn’t want to be put on the naughty list.”

“Ohhh my love,” Carol whispered as she moved closer and wrapped her arms around Therese’s waist. She kissed her deeply as she slowly started to remove Therese’s button-down sweater, “I can assure you, after tonight, we will both be on the naughty list.” 

***********

Christmas morning

Carol stretched her body, feeling pleasantly sore and incredibly happy. She rolled over to wrap her arms around Therese only to find the bed cold and empty. She slowly sat up and looked around the bedroom. “Therese?” 

When there was no answer, she got up and put a robe on over her naked body. She stopped by the bathroom before walking down the hall towards the front of the apartment. Suddenly, she was surrounded by the most amazing scents. “Therese?” She called again.

“In the kitchen!” Therese shouted out to her. 

“What is that sensational smell?” Carol asked as she walked into the kitchen.

“Hoska!” Therese said with an excited voice. “I actually had to start it yesterday while you and Rindy were playing because it takes a while for the dough to rise, but I really wanted to do something special for us this morning.”

“I’m sorry,” Carol looked at her with a confused expression, “it’s a hosawhat?”

“A hoska. It is a traditional Czechoslovakian Christmas bread.” Therese said as bent over to stare into the oven. 

Carol smiled at the beautiful young woman in front of her. She was wearing her pajamas and an apron and was covered from head to toe in flour. “You never cease to amaze me darling. I didn’t know you could bake.” Carol picked up a cloth napkin from the table and walked over to wipe the flour off Therese’s forehead. 

“I saw a recipe in a magazine and it just sounded so good, and well, you know I’m Czech, though I didn’t realize it would be so complicated.” Therese sat down at the kitchen table looking exhausted for such an early morning. “And I don’t know if I can bake, actually. We’ll have to wait and see how it tastes.” 

“Well if it tastes as good as it smells, I think we are safe. Do I also smell coffee?” Carol asked.

“Yes, yes.” Therese started to stand back up, but Carol placed a hand on her shoulder. 

“I can get it. Have you already had some?” She asked as she got down a coffee cup. 

“Oh yes. I have been up for a while. I really wanted to surprise you.”

“And surprise me you did!” Carol smiled at her.

“Kind of like the surprise you gave me last night.” Therese gave Carol a sideways and slightly wicked grin. 

Carol’s eyes brightened as she remembered their new adventures the night before. 

“I never knew…well…I didn’t know…that was…” Therese wasn’t sure how to explain and sighed in frustration.

“Mmmmm…” Carol hummed as she took a sip of her coffee and smiled. “It was.” She nodded with a naughty expression. She sat at the table across from Therese and placed her hand on top of Therese’s. “It wasn’t too much was it?” She suddenly felt worried that it may have scared her young lover.

“Not at all!” Therese answered quickly, wanting to settle Carol’s nerves. “I was just," she paused trying to find the right words. "I mean we’ve never done…well…THAT before! How did you learn…well…how did you know that you could do that?”

“I got the idea over dinner with Abby, actually.” Carol smiled at the memory and threw her head back in a vibrant laugh. “I told her you would have my ass if she got me drunk, and well…” 

Therese blushed and looked down. “Did you ever do that with…”

“No!” Carol interrupted. “I have NEVER…with anyone! You are the first person I have ever felt so free with, Therese.” Carol had a very serious look on her face as she squeezed Therese’s hand. “I need you to understand that what we have, the way we are when we are together, it is the most liberating and breathtaking experience. I feel free to explore and I just really feel like myself when I am with you. Does that make sense?”

Therese nodded. “I feel the same way.” She stood to check on her bread still in the oven. “I think it’s done!” She carefully pulled it from the oven and set it on a rack to cool.

Carol stood and walked up behind her, lacing her arms around Therese’s waist. “If it tastes as good as it looks, it is going to be amazing…much like you.” She placed a string of kisses on the back of her neck.

“Carol…” Therese groaned with pleasure at the sensation. “It does have to cool for a while…” she said as she leaned back into Carol’s body. “We could go...explore... some more.”

“Yes, we could.” Carol whispered into her ear. “Let’s go back to bed and enjoy our Christmas morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to let you use your imagination on what new experiences our girls experienced. 
> 
> As always, forgive any typos or spelling errors, and if you see anything glaring, please shoot me a comment. I typically go back and read and edit after a day or two.


	4. Saving Abby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carol gives Abby a little push.

January 4, 1954

Life was returning to normal after the holiday rush. The Christmas decorations had been stored away and Rindy’s gifts were organized neatly in her room. Therese and Carol were back to their normal work schedules during the week with Rindy coming on the weekends. They made plans for Abby to come over for dinner that night as they had not seen her since before Christmas.

Carol walked in the door at 5:30 and after putting her coat in the closet went straight for the kitchen and started cooking. Therese would be home any minute and Abby was expected between 6 and 6:30 depending on traffic. She frantically ran around the kitchen throwing together a chicken and rice casserole. Carol knew that Abby liked it and it was relatively easy to make. 

Therese arrived home and followed the same routine of placing her winter coat in the closet. She wandered into the kitchen and offered to help with whatever Carol needed. 

“Can you set the table, love? I just need to throw this in the oven.”

Therese set the table for three and then went to change out of her work clothes and into something more comfortable and casual. Since it was just Abby, there was no reason to be fancy. Carol followed suit and changed into some casual slacks and a light sweater, while Therese made them both a drink. There was a nice, comfortable rhythm to their life and they both felt so contended. 

Abby arrived around 6:30, a bottle of alcohol in hand. They all exchanged polite conversations and drinks over dinner. Therese showed off the diamond heart necklace that Carol had given her for Christmas and Carol gushed over the framed photos of Rindy that Therese had gifted, along with a bottle of perfume. After dinner they made their way to the living room. Therese put on the some music and they sat relaxing over after-dinner drinks. 

“So, Abby, tell us, what’s new with you?” Carol asked. “I feel like we’ve been talking non-stop and I haven’t a clue as to what you’ve been up too.” There was a gleam in her eye and both Therese and Abby knew what Carol was alluding too. 

“No, Carol, I haven’t called her yet.” Abby sighed. “I wanted to wait until after the holidays and such. I’m sure she was spending time with her family and all that, just like I was.”

“Jesus Christ.” Carol stood up and walked over to the phone. She dialed a number and held out the receiver to Abby who looked at her with bewilderment at first until the realization of what Carol had done dawned on her. "Come take the fucking phone!" Carol demanded and Abby ran over, grabbing the receiver just as a voice answered on the other end of the line. 

Abby's face went blood red in embarrassment as she simply said “Hello?”

“Can I help you?” The voice on the other end answered. 

“Yes, I’m sorry. This is Abby Gerhard calling.”

“Abby?” The voice seemed confused for a moment. “OH, Abby! There was a sudden recognition. “I was wondering if you were every going to call me.”

Abby smiled shyly into the phone. “I’m sorry, it’s just been crazy with the holidays…as I’m sure you know. Anyway, How are you? Did you have a good holiday?” Abby was clearly nervous and babbling. 

Carol started giggling in the background and Therese gave her a shove. “Leave her alone!” she whispered.

“Oh darling, I can’t help it. I have never seen Abby so damn flustered before! This is golden!” And she continued to laugh.

“Fuck you!” Abby mouthed to Carol, but feeling provoked by Carol’s laughter, Abby suddenly rose to the challenge at hand. 

“I was calling to see if you would like to join me for a drink, tomorrow?”

Therese and Carol could not hear the response from the other end, but based on Abby’s expression, it seemed hopeful. 

“Do you know Scotty’s on Madison?” Abby asked into the receiver.

“What is it with you two and Scotty’s?” Therese questioned, still whispering.

“They have the best martini’s in town, love, and we know the owner.” Carol answered and gave her a wink. 

Abby finished and hung up the phone. She turned and walked to sofa in the living room without saying a word. 

“Well what happened?” Carol demanded!

“First, fuck you for doing that.” Abby sat and pouted as she lit a cigarette. 

“Well someone had to do it!” Carol said with aggravation. “I was not about to listen to you whine and whimper over this woman for two more minutes, let alone another month.”

“I was trying to play it cool and give her some time to…”

“Find someone else?” Therese broke in. “Carol is right. You have been drooling over her for months now. Best to just go for it!”

“Oh of course you would take her side,” Abby argued. “We can’t all be brave like you two…running off across the country on a whim.” 

“Abby, what did she say?” Carol demanded with a shout!

“She thanked me for the offer and agreed to meet me for drinks tomorrow night.” Abby couldn’t help but smile.

Carol and Therese cheered!

“Don’t get all giddy on me yet, I don’t really know anything about her aside from the fact that she’s beautiful and obviously brilliant enough to fix you,” Abby pointed at Carol. “Must make her a damn good doctor.”

“Sometimes all you need is a look from across the room.” Therese mused and looked longingly at Carol, who turned and wrapped her arms around Therese and gave her a squeeze and kiss on the lips. She looked deeply into Therese’s eyes adoringly, remembering that Christmas over the doll counter.

“Dear God. I am out of here...I’ve got more important things to do that sit here while you two make googly eyes at each other.” Abby got up and retrieved her purse and coat and started walking to the door. “Enough to make a person vomit up her dinner.” She mumbled and slammed the door shut behind her. 

Carol and Therese just stood holding each other as they swayed to the music playing in the background. 

“Well that worked out well.” Therese let out a little snicker. “Abby gets a date, and we get some alone time after dinner. You are indeed bold, Carol Aird.” 

“Sometimes we have to save Abby from herself.” Carol offered and spun Therese around the room.


	5. first dates and beyond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby and Elizabeth's first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok- I did pull a little from the book, "The Price of Salt" which I have been reading, again. I needed to fill in a few blanks about Abby, but I do plan on variating to make her more my character. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Forgive my never ending typos!

Dr. Elizabeth Green walked into Scotty’s precisely as 6pm. She saw Abby waving her to a booth in the back of the restaurant. The butterflies in her stomach started to flutter. ‘What am I doing here?’ she thought to herself as she walked towards the energetic brunette.

“Hi.” Abby stood to greet her and motioned towards the seat across from her. “I wasn’t sure what you like to drink, but the martinis here are amazing, so I took the liberty of ordering a round…but if you want something different I can get the waiter.” Abby couldn't believe how fast and how much she was talking. 

“That sounds fine,” Elizabeth said as she removed her coat and sat opposite of Abby in the booth.

“I’m so glad you agreed to meet me.” Abby’s smile was genuine, but Elizabeth could clearly see she was just as nervous. It was cute. 

“Well I must say, I was curious, and I feel like I already know you from my sessions with Carol.”

“Is that bad?” Abby sounded slightly worried. “I hope she only told you the good things.” 

Elizabeth smiled, “for the most part, yes.”

“Oh now I am intrigued! What all did she say about me?” Abby asked with a mischievous grin. 

“I cannot tell you that.” Elizabeth said with a suddenly serious tone, shaking her head. “Maybe this wasn’t a good idea, after all.”

“No, no, no! I was joking! Really!” Abby said quickly. “I’m sorry, please don’t go. I won’t ask you anything about Carol, I promise!” 

Elizabeth didn’t move and sat thinking for a moment. “Ok, but I do need you to understand that I honestly cannot discuss Carol or any of my patients, for that matter. It would be a serious ethical violation.”

“I understand.” Abby nodded. “So, uh…we can start with something else…Something easier, like, what is your name? Your card said Dr. E. R. Green. I have asked you out and I don’t even know your name.” Abby shrugged her shoulders.

Elizabeth let out a chuckle and relaxed a little. “My name is Elizabeth, but my friends call me Liz or Lizzie.”

“Ok, then, Lizzie. I guess it is your turn to ask me a question.” Abby sat back and took a long sip of her drink and tried to calm her nerves. She wasn't sure why, but the beautiful doctor made her very nervous. 

Elizabeth took a sip of her drink and thought for a minute. “Hmmm, well I know your name. How about what you do for a living?”

“Right to the complicated? Geez!” Abby joked and laughed. “This might ruin our night before it even starts.”

Lizzie was confused, “I’m sorry?”

“I guess it all depends on how you feel about bugs,” Abby explained.

“Ummm…they are gross. What does that have to do with…”

“I am an entomologist.” Abby explained. “I study bugs…well sometimes. It is kind of part time work when there is an issue, like an outbreak or something. Otherwise I work at an antique store in New Jersey. This is usually the part of the date where the women are disgusted and make an excuse to leave.”

“I didn’t…I don’t…wait…really?” Elizabeth started laughing loudly. “You aren’t kidding?”

“I’m afraid not! You study brains and I study bugs. Quite the odd pair!” Abby smiled, a slight red tinge to her cheeks. She pulled out a cigarette and offered one to Lizzie, but she declined.

“I don’t smoke. I must say it is absolutely fascinating!”

Abby perked up. Her date wasn’t leaving, and she said she was intrigued. “Do you mind if I smoke?”

Lizzie shook her head, “I don’t mind.”

“Ok my turn…tell me why you became a doctor?” Abby asked as she lit her cigarette.

They spent the next two hours asking questions back and forth as they enjoyed dinner and more martinis. Abby found out about her fight to get into medical school, the ex-husband who divorced her for wanting to go to medical school instead of starting a family, and the difference between psychology and psychiatry. In return, Lizzie learned more about Abby’s career choice, how she takes care of her mother in New Jersey and her love of antiques. They avoided any conversations about Carol.

After a while, Elizabeth looked at her watch. “Oh my, I didn’t realize how late it had gotten! I really do need to head home. Busy schedule tomorrow.”  
Abby frowned, “time flies when you are having fun, I guess.” Abby waved the waiter over to get the check. There was an awkward silence before she got brave enough to ask if she could see Elizabeth again. 

Lizzie stood up and put her coat on before answering. “I would like that. Are you free on Friday?”

“Yes.” Abby smiled. “Any place special?”

“I will call you and let you know where and when. There is one place I have been dying to try. Do you like jazz?”

“Yes, I do!” Abby said excitedly as she stood, left money on the table, and put on her own coat. She escorted Lizzie to the door and stood with her as she waited for her taxi. “I could take you home,” she offered. “My car is just there.” Abby pointed to the convertible.

“The one with the top down?” Elizabeth said with a look of shock on her face. “You do realize it is January in New York, right?”

“That is the best time to have the top down! The cold is so invigorating!” Abby was as giddy as a schoolgirl.

“Absolutely fascinating.” Elizabeth smiled as her taxi pulled up. She leaned over to give Abby a hug good-bye and kissed her on the cheek lightly. “Till Friday?”

Abby smelled her perfume for the first time. She could only describe it as warm and soft, much like the feel of her lips on her skin. “Friday,” she said with a shudder in her voice and a flutter in her stomach. 

Lizzie got in her taxi and waved a quick good-bye. She sat back and let out a deep sigh as the car drove away. ‘Oh God…I really like her,' she thought to herself. ‘unexpected and so alluring, and her eyes are so beautiful’ she smiled.

Over the next few weeks, Abby and Elizabeth went out at least 3 times a week. They explored new restaurants, enjoyed several different jazz clubs, and slowly got to know each other. But aside from hugs to say good night, an occasional brush of the hand, or kisses on the cheek, there had been no other intimate moments. Abby was becoming worried that they were just going to be friends. She knew she was going to have to make a move, but she was very worried at scaring Lizzie away.  
It was a Wednesday night, and they were enjoying their evening as usual. After dinner, Abby waited with Lizzie until she could hail a cab the way she always did since Lizzie would never allow her to drive her home. She took a deep breath and decided it was now or never. “Would you want to maybe come to my house this weekend?”

“What about your mother?” Elizabeth asked. 

“Oh, yeah.” Abby looked down, feeling a little rejected. 

“What if you came to my apartment instead?” Elizabeth asked and brushed her hand. “What does you mother do if you get home late…or you don’t come home at all?”  
Abby’s stomach hit the floor. “I…” she swallowed, “I have a neighbor that checks on her and she has a nurse that comes during the day.”  
“Good. I will call you with the address and I will make us dinner on Friday. Actually, I will probably pick up dinner. I really don’t cook.” 

Abby was still dazed. “That…uh…sounds wonderful.”

Elizabeth went to get in her taxi. “And Abby?”

“Yes?”

“Bring an overnight bag.” She winked and disappeared into the night.


	6. worries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby catches Carol up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know the drill- forgive the typos.

The phone rang three times before Carol made it over to answer. It was 9:30 at night and only one person she knew would be calling this late. “Abby, I could absolutely murder you!” She said without even a hello or an acknowledgment of who was on the other end of the line. 

“Well hello to you, too.” Abby replied with a giggle. 

“Don’t you dare ‘hello’ me. I have not heard from you in weeks! You go out with my therapist and then you just disappear. I was about to send out a search party.” 

“I know, I'm horrible. I’ve been incredibly busy, and I’ve been meaning to return your calls. I just get home so late and then…”

“Oh save the excuses and tell me how everything has been going.' Carol interrupted her. "The fact that you have vanished can only lead me to believe that it must be going well and you are planning on running off to live happily-ever-after.” 

“Oh, Carol,” Abby sighed into the phone. “Elizabeth is divine.”

“So that’s her first name? Suits her. Continue.” 

“We enjoy the same foods, the same music, the same books, and we can just talk for hours. Aside from you, I’ve never been able to just talk to someone like this before. It’s just…” Abby didn’t continue.

“Just what?” Carol asked.

“We haven’t kissed yet.”

“Oh!” Carol paused to think of the best way to address Abby’s concerns. Carol knew Abby was usually very quick to make a move on a woman she fancied. There had only been one exception to that, the first being Carol, and now apparently Elizabeth. This must be serious if Abby was taking it slow. 

“Abby, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. I didn’t kiss Therese for a couple of weeks.”

“A couple…as in two. Lizzie and I have been going out for almost a month! I’m worried that maybe she isn’t interested in me, like that, you know? I don’t even know if she’s into women at all! But tonight, she invited me to stay over at hers this weekend. She told me to bring an overnight bag. So, does that mean she is?”

Carol let out a loud laugh “Oh you do have it bad, don't you! Look, she’d be crazy to not be interested in you. And if she is spending this much time with you clearly, she is! You’re just going to have to turn on your seductive nature and take a chance. Wasn’t it you who told Therese to take the risk? I think you need to take your own advice.”

“There is one other thing, and this is very hard for me…” Abby paused. “I never feel free to talk about you.”

“Me? Good heavens, what for?” Carol was perplexed. 

“She got so upset on our first date when I asked a question about you, so now I really try to just not mention your name. I REALLY like this woman, Carol, but I cannot give up my friendship with you to be with her. I won’t.”

“And you should not have too. Abby, you should be able to discuss our friendship with her. Hell, at some point I would think we could even go out on a double date. I can understand if she doesn’t want to talk about specific things we may have discussed in our sessions, but if you just kept it simple and about the present, why would that be a problem?”

“I don’t know, I just feel awkward even bringing you up.”

“Perhaps you should try to kiss the girl before you do, hmmm?” Carol suggested.

Abby let out a giggle. “You’re right.”

“Of course, I am you nitwit! So, kiss her. Find out if she’s really, you know, like us, and then maybe you can discuss your concerns about this with her. But kiss her first! Now, I must run and pull Therese out of her darkroom. I swear, she would just live in there if I let her. Call me after your magical weekend and let me know how it goes.”

“I will. Goodnight.” 

Abby hung up the phone and stared at the empty bag on her bed. She was never this nervous about being with someone before. She’d had more one-night stands than she could count and seducing a woman had never been an issue. But Lizzie was different. She wanted this weekend to be special, but this just made her more anxious. ‘What the hell do I pack when I don’t even know if we will or won’t?’ She thought. She decided she would need to be prepared for every possibility. She grabbed a nice pajama set and a robe and slippers. She packed one of her favorite pant suits for Saturday that was dressy enough to wear out and yet casual enough to stay home. She decided to wear her black dress on Friday night. She always got so many compliments when she wore it. She would shave and wash her hair tomorrow night and pack her toiletries Friday morning then she would hopefully be ready for whatever Friday night brought on.


	7. falling in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday night...

Abby chastised herself on the drive over, on the elevator up, and all the way to the door of Elizabeth’s apartment. ‘Why are you so fucking nervous? Why are you acting like a lovesick schoolgirl? You are being ridiculous, and you know it!’ The thoughts kept swirling through her head, and she was sick of it. She mustered her inner strength and knocked on the door.

Lizzie opened the door to a beautiful sight. Abby was wearing a black dress that brought out all of her curves. She nearly swooned, but caught herself and invited her guest in. “You found it alright? No problems?”

Abby set her small bag on the floor by the front door. “Oh yes, no problems at all. I mean traffic is always murder on Friday’s, but I managed.”

The energy in the room was tense. “Would you like a drink? I have whiskey and I did buy the ingredients for those martinis you love so much.” Elizabeth offered.

“Yes, whiskey is fine for now.” Abby surveyed the apartment. It was beautifully decorated in shades of blue and cream. There were two large windows in the living room overlooking central park. The living room was large and open with two sofas facing each other and a coffee table in between. There was a wall of bookcases, absolutely overrunning with books. There were a few family photos, but not many. The walls were covered in various styles of art. “Your apartment is absolutely breathtaking!” Abby mused. 

“Thank you,” Elizabeth replied as she poured their drinks. “Would you like the grand tour?” 

Abby nodded, “Sure.”

Elizabeth showed her the kitchen, which of course had the latest appliances in all white, the bathroom with it's massive clawfoot tub with a shower, and the two bedrooms. The master was beautifully designed with a wrought iron queen size bed, a vanity and dresser and the second bedroom was simply styled with cream colors and some basic wood furniture that consisted of a twin bed, nightstand and a dresser. Abby wondered if anyone had ever slept in this room. 

After the tour they moved to the dining room where Lizzie had dinner ready. 

“What are we having? Abby asked. 

"I know this amazing Italian place and I had Vitto set us up with some pasta and a salad. Is that okay?”

“Sounds wonderful.” Abby replied as they sat down to eat. 

There were prolonged periods of silence followed by what could only be described as boring conversation as they ate their meals. You could cut the tension with a knife. Abby knew she had to break through to get them both to a more comfortable place, but she also knew it was going to get much more uneasy at first. She took a deep breath and decided to lay it all out on the line. 

“Lizzie I have to ask you something,” she said as she downed the remainder of her whiskey. 

Elizabeth set her fork down and looked up, feeling the shift in the energy of the room. 

“What are we doing?”

“Having a nice, polite dinner?” Lizzie answered charmingly, knowing full well what Abby actually meant.

“No, I mean, with us. What are we doing? What are you wanting to happen?” Abby asked again. She knew she was risking a lot by asking, but she also knew they couldn't keep up the endless circling. 

Elizabeth sighed deeply and sat back in her chair. She took a long sip of her drink before answering. “I’ve been trying to figure out a way to talk to you about this, I just didn’t know how,” she said with a serious expression on her face. 

Abby felt as if the air had been sucked out of the room. This beautiful, perfect, woman was about to break her heart. She straightened her shoulders and prepared herself for the blow.

“I’ve never done this before, Abby. With a woman, I mean.” Lizzie confessed 

Abby’s eyes grew wide. “And by this you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean, Abby. I know about you and Carol’s past and I know that you have been with other women, as well. I have only ever been with my ex-husband and then when that fell apart, I was married to my work. I have never felt attracted to a woman before, so this is all very new to me.” Elizabeth laid all of her cards on the table. 

“I see,” Abby answered. “But you are? Attracted to me?” she asked shyly. 

“God yes!” Elizabeth reached out and took Abby’s hand. “I just have no idea what I’m doing. And for someone like me, that is so confusing.” 

Abby squeezed Lizzie’s hand reassuring her. “I feel the same way, you know.”

“I’m terrified of my feelings, Abby. I can’t lie.”

“I’m scared too.” Abby admitted. “I’m not going to push you into anything you aren’t ready for or aren’t comfortable with.” 

Elizabeth smiled sweetly. “You aren’t pushing me, Abby. I mean I did ask you to spend the night for a reason. I want to…I want to try.” 

Abby leaned forward and looked deeply into Elizabeth’s eyes but said nothing. She started running her fingers slowly over the top of Lizzie’s hand. 

Lizzie felt electricity running from her hand, up her arm and into her body. Her heart was beating loud and fast and she knew Abby had to be able to hear it. She leaned forward towards Abby, returning the gaze.

The slowly inched forward over the table until they were only inches away. Abby could smell the perfume again and it was intoxicating. She looked down at Lizzie’s lips and leaned in and place a light, tentative kiss on her lips. She backed up just a bit to see her reaction, but Elizabeth surged forward taking Abby’s lips in her own.

She kissed her without hesitation as if they had kissed a hundred times before. Abby reached out and pulled her up so they were both standing, forgetting all about dinner. She continued to kiss her as she maneuvered them to living room and over to the couch. 

Abby was suddenly feeling very sure of herself and as Carol had said, she let her seductive nature take over. She sat them both down, facing each other, the kisses never slowing. Abby pulled her closer as her tongue sought entry into Elizabeth’s mouth. She ran her hands up Lizzie’s arms, to her shoulders, and then placed one hand behind her neck pulling her in even more. 

Elizabeth had lost all logical thought. She was lost in Abby’s kisses and the fire that was now running through her body. She had thought that kissing Abby would be hot, but this was beyond anything she could have imagined. Her lips were soft and warm and the feel of her tongue was causing a heat to rising below her stomach. She felt a need to touch Abby and lifted her hands to run her them up and down Abby's back.

Abby shifted and started placing kisses down Lizzie’s neck and then worked her way back up to her lips. And then as suddenly as it had started, Abby pulled back, breaking the kiss. She placed her hands on either side of Lizzies face and looked at her with lust-drunk eyes. “If you aren’t ready for this, tell me to stop now.” She said, breathing hard. 

Elizabeth answered her with another deep kiss. The continued to kiss passionately, hands exploring, and bodies igniting. Finally Elizabeth stopped and looked at Abby with a hunger. “I want you, Abby” she whispered as she stood and reached down for Abby’s hand. They walked hand in hand to the bedroom. Elizabeth closed the bedroom door behind them and turned to look at Abby who was now standing by the bed. 

“Come here.” Abby said with confidence. 

Elizabeth walked towards her, stopping right in front. “Now what.”

“Take off my dress.” Abby gave another command. Elizabeth moved slowly as she placed her hands on Abby’s waist and turned her around so she was facing the bed and slowly pulled the zipper on the back of Abby’s dress down, and then slid the shoulders of the dress down until it pooled on the floor at her feet. Her stomach did cartwheels as she ran her trembling fingers lightly up her sides and placed a kiss on the back of Abby’s neck. 

Abby turned back around and stepped out of her shoes. She felt fearless and on fire by the touch of the mesmerizing woman in front of her. She wrapped her arms around Elizabeth and started kissing her with deeper passion. She pulled Elizabeth’s shirt up and over and then worked to unzip her skirt. They stood facing each other in only their bras and panties and stockings. “Lay on the bed,” Abby whispered into her ear, her voice low and husky.

Elizabeth did as she was told as Abby slid on top of her, placing kisses up her body as she moved. She placed a thigh in between Lizzie’s legs, feeling the wet heat radiating from her center. “God you are amazing,” she moaned. She rocked her thigh forward slightly, as Elizabeth gasped. She leaned in and kissed her mouth, her neck, her shoulders, all the time rocking her hips forward into Elizabeth. 

Abby had Elizabeth feeling absolutely feverish. Her body was trembling with anticipation and she felt desperate for Abby’s touches and kisses and groaned in the pleasure of all the sensations she was experiencing. 

Abby continued to plant kisses on Lizzie’s body as she worked her way down to her stomach and then back up. She skipped over her breasts and came back up to look into her eyes. “I want to make love to you, Lizzie.” Her voice low and breathy. 

“Please…” was all Elizabeth could manage to get out before Abby moved to devour her. She kissed her way down her neck and then lifted her up so she could remove her bra. She laid her back again and took each breast into her mouth, twirling her tongue around each nipple and sucking lightly. 

Elizabeth moaned feeling the unbridled passion building inside of her. She ran her finger nails up and down Abby’s back, which was driving Abby into a frenzy. 

Abby continued her attention on Lizzie’s breasts as she slid her hand down and in between her legs, replacing her thigh. She could feel the wetness soaking through her panties. 

Elizabeth’s breath hitched at the light touches on the outside of her now useless underwear. “Ohhhhhh….” She groaned.

Abby slid the crotch of the panties aside and slide one of her fingers up and down inside Elizabeth’s wetness. Lizzie’s hips rose to meet her finger, unable to resist her increasing desire for more. 

At her urging, Abby kissed down Lizzie’s stomach and slowly undid her stockings one by one. She then pulled her panties down her legs. She used her hands to push her knees up as she slid down, placing kisses on each thigh. She gave Elizabeth one more look, before she let her tongue replace her fingers. Her tongue worked slowly at first, licking up and down her folds. She twirled her tongue around her swollen nub as Lizzie continued to moan and move her hips in unison with Abby’s tongue. 

It only took a few minutes and Elizabeth knew she was on the edge. She felt a white hot heat building in her core and a tension building in her stomach and then into her chest. Suddenly the room went dark as she was panting in pleasure, her body shaking. She rode the wave up and down until her body collapsed in pleasure. 

Abby kissed her way back up Lizzie’s body and laid beside her. “You are so beautiful,” she whispered into her ear.

Lizzie turned and looked into Abby’s eyes. “That was amazing,” she hummed. She leaned forward and kissed her, tasting herself on Abby’s lips. It sparked another wave of heat through her body. “I want to do that to you…teach me…”she breathed into her mouth. “Show me how to love you.” 

Abby returned her kisses as she took one of her hands and placed it between her legs.

“You’re so wet,” Lizzie moaned at the sensation. 

“That’s what you do to me,” Abby panted. Lizzie unhitched the clips of Abby’s bra and then removed her panties and stockings. She returned to laying next to her and moved her hand back in between her legs. Abby sighed as she placed her own hand over Lizzie’s guiding her fingers to the right spot. Her head rolled back and she moved the fingers up, down, and around. Elizabeth was a fast learner and was soon working on her own. She began sucking on Abby’s nipples as her fingers circled her clit, slowly increasing her speed and pressure. She could feel Abby’s hips moving with her fingers and her increasing moans let her know that Abby was about the go over the edge. She moved her head up, placing kisses on her chest and neck until her lips were right next to Abby's ear, as her fingers kept moving. She licked around her earlobe and then softly whispered, “I think I’m falling in love with you, Abigail.”

Abby was pushed immediately over the blissful edge into one of the strongest orgasms she had ever experienced. It seemed to last forever, but her body finally relaxed. She pulled Elizabeth into her arms. “Dear god…” she exhaled. Abby was in love, there was no doubt. “I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have enjoyed all of the happy. You are hereby warned, dark days ahead for all of our girls.


	8. Bad news

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been about a month since the last chapter, time wise. Assume everything was wonderful! Carol and Therese were blissfully happy and Abby and Elizabeth were enjoying their new relationship!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have pulled a few bits and pieces from the book, but I still plan on variating and changing them up a bit. There will be some trigger warnings in future chapters.

Saturday February 13th

Valentine’s Day was fast approaching. Carol had never really cared for the holiday before, but after being separated from Therese last year, she was determined to make this one special. Carol and Rindy were sitting at the kitchen table, hard at work making cards for Therese, who had gone out to the grocery store and to run some errands Carol had asked her to do. It was clear that she needed to be out of the apartment for a little while, so Therese complied to give the two some mother daughter alone time and it also gave her time to shop for a Valentine’s gift for Carol.

“Mommy, I love Therese.” Rindy said as she colored in a pink heart.

“I love her, too, sweetheart.” Carol smiled and placed a kiss on Rindy’s head. 

Carol knew one day she would have to explain the nature or her relationship with Therese, but thankfully at only 5, Rindy did not quite yet understand. 

“You should marry her.”

‘Or maybe she did.’ Carol thought, he eyes growing wide. She decided not to make a big deal about it and just roll with the thoughts inside her daughter’s brain to see where this was going. “You think so?”

“She would be very pretty in a white dress.” Sweet, little Rindy had it all planned out in her mind. “And I could be the flower girl. And Aunt Abby can be there, and we could eat cake!”

From the mouth of babes, she thought. 

There was a knock on the door. Carol looked at her watch. It was only 3pm, so if it was Harge, she was going to be irate! “I’ll be right back, sweatpea. Finish coloring your card because Therese will be home any minute.”

Carol answered the door to Harge’s dour face. “I have another hour with her, Harge! Why are you here so early!” Carol demanded.

“I know, I’m sorry, Carol. We need to talk.” He walked into the room and took off his coat and laid it on the back of the sofa. It wasn’t like Harge to make himself comfortable. “Could I have a drink?”

Carol walked over the liquor cabinet and poured him a glass of whiskey. “Harge, I will not change our custody agreement again. This has been working so well, so if that’s what you want to talk about just save it!”

Harge pulled an envelope out of his suit jacket pocket and handed it to Carol. “This came certified mail yesterday. I would have called you last night, but I didn’t want to ruin your time with Rindy.” 

Carol went silent as she walked over to take the envelope. She read the outside and saw that it was from her sister in Virginia. “You read it?”  
“I did," he said with a nod. "I’m sorry, I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t something insignificant.” Harge looked down. “You didn’t tell your family about the divorce or about the move?” 

“Harge, you know I don’t really talk to Elaine. We’ve never been close.”

“When was the last time you spoke with your mother?” Harge asked  
.  
“I called home and wished her a Merry Christmas. Before that it was probably Mother’s Day. Why? What’s this all about, Harge?”

“But you didn’t tell her you moved? Didn’t give anyone your new address of phone number?” Harge asked.

“No, I guess I didn’t.” Carol was getting very irritated and uncomfortable with the conversation and was slightly embarrassed at the accusations she felt Harge was making. 

“They couldn’t reach you, so the letter was delivered to my office. You should read it.” 

Carol opened the envelope and pulled out the typed letter. She stood reading, silent, and stiff. When she finished, Carol turned and poured herself a drink and sat down on the sofa next to Harge. “My mother died.” 

“Yes. I’m so sorry, Carol.” Harge said sincerely. “I know the two of you had a,” he paused looking for the right words, “contentious relationship, but still…she was your mother and Rindy’s grandmother. I just want you to know that whatever you need...well,” Harge paused again. “It says the funeral arrangements are Friday of next week, so I thought maybe you would like to keep Rindy until tomorrow?” 

“I appreciate that Harge, I do. I don’t know if I will be attending, though.” Carol felt her body growing cold, like ice was running through her veins. She felt a shiver go up and down her spine. 

“You should go, Carol. If for no other reason than to say good-bye, pay your respects, and maybe let go of everything that happened between the two of you.” 

Carol knew Harge was trying to help and she appreciated it, but she really did not think anything could change her mind. 

“Well, I should go and leave you to your time with Rindy. Can I go say hi?” 

“Of course, you can.” Carol said simply. “She’s in the kitchen.” Carol did not move. 

Harge stood and made his way to the kitchen and Carol heard an excited squeal of “Daddy! Look at my card!” 

Somewhere in the background, Carol heard the front door open and close. Therese made her way inside, arms full of bags. She saw Carol sitting alone on the sofa, looking melancholy and a wave of worry rushed through her. 

“Carol?” She sat the bags on the floor by the door and walked over to where Carol was sitting. “What’s wrong? Where is Rindy?” She looked around and then heard the voices in the kitchen. “Harge is here?”

Carol still did not answer. Therese could feel her blood begin to boil. If that man thought he was going to hurt Carol again after all this time, she was going to murder him. She turned to walk into the kitchen just as Harge and Rindy came out into the living room hand and hand. 

“Mommy! Daddy said I can stay another night! Isn’t that fun?” Rindy was bouncing and giddy. 

Therese turned back to look at Carol who had not reacted to this at all. She then turned to look at Harge with a confused and concerned expression. “What is going on?”

“You should speak with Carol.” He said, looking down at his daughter. “Ok sunshine, you go finish your project in the kitchen and I will see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Ok.” Rindy said and gave him a big squeeze before running back into the kitchen. 

Harge grabbed his coat put it back on. He gently placed a hand on Carol’s shoulder before turning to leave. “Again, I’m very sorry, Carol. Think about what I said.” He turned and nodded to Therese. “Nice to see you again, Miss Belivet. I’ll be back tomorrow around 2 to pick up Rindy.”

Therese didn’t reply as Harge showed himself out. She walked over to Carol who still had not moved or reacted to anything since she arrived home. The expression on Carol’s face was the same cold, blank, stare she had seen last year after Carol came home from the hospital. “What’s wrong?” She said as she sat next to her on the sofa. "Why is Harge being so nice all of sudden?"

Carol didn’t answer, she just passed the letter over so that Therese could read for herself. After a few minutes, Therese looked up. “Oh…Carol” she said in nearly a whisper. “I’m so sorry.” 

They sat in silence, neither moving. Therese found herself dumbfounded about what to do. Carol never spoke of her mother or her sister really, aside from their short conversation in the car on their trip. She only knew that Carol had an older sister, Elaine, who lived in Virginia with her three kids. She knew that Carol's mother had moved to Virginia after her husband, Carol's father, had died a few years back. She also knew they weren’t close, but clearly Carol was still very affected by the news. Therese reached over to take Carol’s hand, but she jerked it away and stood. Carol started looking around the room, searching in drawers and in her purse. Therese knew she was looking for a cigarette, but as neither of them had smoked in quite a while, she couldn’t remember where they had hidden them. 

“Maybe check your nightstand,” Therese offered, and Carol walked back to the bedroom. 

Therese went to the kitchen to check on Rindy, but Rindy quickly demanded she leave! “You can’t see until tomorrow! Go tell mommy to come back!” 

Therese walked back to the bedroom and found Carol sitting at her vanity, lit cigarette in hand. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Carol just shook her head. 

“Do you want me to call Abby?”

Carol shook her head again. “Abby is enjoying her first Valentine's Day weekend with Elizabeth. I do not want to ruin it for them the way I always ruin ours.”

Therese walked over and placed her hand on Carol’s shoulder. Carol turned and leaned into Therese, a few tears spilling now. “You haven't ruined anything, Carol.  
Please tell me what I can do. How can I help you?”

“Oh, my angel, I wish you could. Just leave me be for a few minutes. Go check on Rindy and I’ll be out soon.”

“I wish I could be she kicked me out of the kitchen and demanded that you come help her finish.” Therese tried to make Carol laugh. “Our daughter is quite bossy.” She ran her fingers through Carol’s hair and placed a kiss on her forehead when Carol didn’t so much as giggle. “Ok, I will go put the groceries away. If I promise not to peak maybe Rindy will at least let me do that. Come out when you are ready.” She placed another kiss on her head. “I love you, Carol.”

“I love you, too, angel.”


	9. Valentine's Day part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Valentine's Day roller coaster ride of emotions for you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to start by giving a general trigger warning about the upcoming chapters. I will give more specific warnings as we go. I'm going to be taking Carol to some pretty dark places and many of you may not like what I do to her, but please remember, I LOVE Carol. I promise a happy ending. Also, as many of you know, I am a psychology teacher and this plays a roll in my stories. I will be using my research on psychiatry in the 1950's in this story. I am trying to be as accurate as possible. 
> 
> All I can really say is hang on to your butt's!

The first nightmare came that night. Carol was screaming and flailing in the bed as Therese was shaking her and saying her name over and over, hoping to wake her before she woke Rindy, but it was too late. 

“Mommy?” The little voice came from the hall. 

“Carol!” Therese finally screamed jolting Carol awake.

She was confused, sweating, and disoriented. “Whaaa?” Carol said and she looked around the room. She realized Therese was basically sitting on top of her and then heard Rindy’s voice calling from the hall and a small knock on the door. “What’s happening?” Carol asked. 

“You were screaming and tossing and turning. I couldn’t get you to wake up.” Therese sat back and tried to catch her breath. “That must have been some nightmare!” 

Carol sat up and tried to shake off the disorientation. “Rindy? Come in sweetheart. It’s okay.”

“Why were you screaming, mommy?” Rindy said as she peaked in the door. “Did you have a bad dream?”

“Come here, baby.” Carol said as she waved her daughter over to her. “I guess I did have a very bad dream. I’m sorry if I woke you and Therese.”

“Do you need Mr. Bear to sleep with you? He always keeps me safe.” She held up her stuffed bear to her mother. 

Carol bent down and lifted Rindy up into the bed and gave her a big hug. “No sweet pea. You keep Mr. Bear. I have Therese to keep me safe. I’m sorry if I scared you. Do you think you can go back to sleep if I walk you back to your room?”

Rindy yawned and nodded. Carol picked up her daughter and carried her back to her bed. She stayed gone for a few minutes and Therese imagined she was sitting and trying to comfort Rindy until she was back asleep. Carol came back in the room and went to her side of the bed. She paused before getting back in, shaking her head. “I don’t remember anything” she said and then slid under the covers and up next to Therese. She wrapped her arms around her and pulled her as close as she could. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“Are you alright now?" Therese asked. "Do you think you can go back to sleep?” She glanced at the clock, it was just after 2 am. 

“I feel very awake now. I don’t know if I can.” She nuzzled Therese’s neck. “Maybe you could help me relax?” 

Therese rolled over and faced Carol. She ran her fingers lightly across her lips and followed them with a kiss. “Yes, I can,” she whispered.

********

Carol woke up the next morning to an empty bed, which he hated. She heard giggling coming from the living room area and realized that Therese must have gotten up with Rindy. She rolled out of bed and put on her robe and slippers and walked out to join her girls for breakfast.

When Carol walked out, she saw Therese and Rindy in the kitchen. They were covered in flour and there was a mess of dishes covering the counter. A sudden wave of anger rushed through Carol and before she realized what was happening, she was yelling. “What the hell is all of this? I hope you plan on cleaning this up!”

Therese and Rindy both jerked at Carol’s raised voice and Rindy ran to hide behind Therese’s legs. “Carol!” Therese snapped back. 

Carol looked up at Therese and then down at her scared daughter. “I…I’m sorry.” She shook her head not understanding where her outburst had come from. 

“It’s okay, Rindy. I think mommy is just tired after not sleeping last night.” Therese tried to comfort her. “Why don’t you go give her a special Valentine’s day hug while I finish up the breakfast you wanted to make her.”

Carol was suddenly drowning in feelings of guilt. Tears were welling up in her eyes and she knelt to Rindy’s level. “I am so sorry, my love. I did not mean to yell. I think…I just got some very sad news yesterday and I think it has me all out of sorts. Do you forgive me?”

Rindy nodded and came over to hug her mother. “I’m sorry if you are sad, mommy. I’m going to go get your card from my room. It will make you feel better.” She took off running down the hall. 

Carol stood and walked over to Therese. She wrapped her arms around her waist. “And what about you? Do you forgive me?”

“Yes, but I think we need to talk about this later. For now, let’s just enjoy our day with Rindy.” Therese had her guard up now and Carol couldn’t help but feel the chill in the air. Therese finished plating breakfast and took the plates to the kitchen table as Rindy came back in with her homemade cards. She gave one to Carol and one to Therese. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, mommies!” The plural use had both Carol and Therese crying tears of happiness and soon they all relaxed and enjoyed the rest of their morning. 

********

Harge arrived on time as usual. He was once again overly polite to Therese, which made her feel odd. He asked Carol how she was doing, but she didn’t fill him in on any of the drama of the night or morning. “I’m fine, Harge. Thank you for asking. And thank you for the extra time with Rindy.”

“I’m sure you two have some plans for the evening, so we best be off. You ready to head home, sunshine?” He asked his daughter. 

Rindy gave out her good-bye hugs and then kissed her mom on the cheek. “I hope you feel better, mommy. I love you.”

Carol gave her a bigger hug. “I love you so much my sweet girl.” 

Harge couldn't help but notic the exchange. He turned to look back at Carol as he walked out the door with Rindy by his side. “Let me know if you change your mind about Friday, Carol.” She just nodded in reply. 

One they were alone in the apartment, Carol walked over and poured herself a drink to calm her nerves. She knew Therese was still angry about the episode that morning, but she did not want this to ruin their day. 

Therese sat on the sofa and just watched her for a few minutes before asking, “What did Harge mean about Friday?”

Carol sighed and downed the rest of the brown liquid courage. “He was talking about the funeral.”

Therese waited for Carol to finish.

“I told him I wasn’t going to the funeral.”

A look of shock covered Therese’s face. “What do you mean you aren’t going? Why wouldn’t you go? Why wouldn’t WE go?”

Carol sat down on the sofa next to Therese. “You know I’ve never been close with my mother, Therese.”

“But to not go to her funeral? Carol that isn’t…I just assumed we would be driving down together. I really do not understand.”

A bitterness filled Carol’s voice. “Of course you don’t. You’re just a child.” 

“What!?!” Therese felt as if Carol had just slapped her. She took a deep breath and tried to gather her thoughts, but her anger was rising. “Clearly, the death of your mother is affecting you more than you realize. You are lashing out, having nightmares, and now trying to pick a fight.”

Carol didn’t reply, she just stared forward, the cold and empty feelings overtaking her again. 

“I’m not going to let you do this.” Therese said as she stood and walked into the bedroom. Carol didn’t follow her. She returned a minute later with a small box in her hand. “I was going to give you this tonight, but I’m not sure I feel like going out now. She set the box on the couch next to Carol. “I love you, Carol and when you feel like talking instead of avoiding this, I’ll be in my darkroom.”

Carol waited until she heard the door to the darkroom close before she picked up the small box and held it in her hand. She knew she was acting like a spoilt child, but she just could not seem to control her emotions. Her hands started to tremble as she slowly unwrapped the small blue Tiffany’s box. Her breath hitched as she opened to find a simple and yet beautifully elegant silver ring. She picked it up and read the inscription, 'forever'. She slid the ring onto her finger and the rush of tears rose to the surface. She suddenly found herself on the floor in a fetal position wailing in agony.

Therese came running out of her darkroom at the sound to find Carol curled up on the living room floor and her heart shattered. She screamed at herself internally for not being more patient and understanding. She rushed over and laid next to her, wrapping her arms around her love. “I love you, Carol. It will all be okay, I promise.” 

“Please don’t leave me, Therese.” Carol cried. “I know I am being so horrible.” She grabbed Therese’s arms and held on for dear life. 

“Did you read the inscription on your ring?" Therese whispered in her ear. "I meant it, Carol. I am yours forever and we will get through this together.”

Carol let out more sobs and Therese just held on and let her cry. When the tears finally started to quiet, Therese helped Carol up and onto the couch. “Do you feel a little better?”

Carol let out a deep breath and nodded a yes. They sat cuddled together for a long while as Carol calmed down.

“You know what I think?” Therese took Carol’s face in her hands and wiped away the left-over tears. “I think we should go get cleaned up and then we will go out for our Valentine's Day dinner.”

Carol smiled and agreed. “I still have to give you your gift.” Carol stood and walked over to a drawer in a side table. She pulled out an identical blue box and a card and handed it to Therese. 

Therese opened the box and found a silver ring in the shape of a vine with three small diamonds in the leaves. Her hands shook as she opened the card and read the words from Carol.

Dearest,  
My love for you grows each and every day and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you.  
I love you,  
C

She wiped a tear from her eye. “It’s so beautiful, Carol.”

“Just like you, my angel,” Carol said as she took the ring and slid it on to Therese’s left ring finger. “I know we can’t really get married, Therese, but just know that I would…would you?”

Therese beamed with happiness. It was hard to believe they were lying in a heap of tears on the floor few minutes before. “I would,” she said. 

Fresh tears came to Carol’s eyes, but this time they were tears of joy. They stood in the living room holding each other for the longest time. Therese finally let go and pulled back to look at Carol. “I made us reservations at 5 for dinner. We should probably get ready.”

Carol kissed Therese deeply. “Yes, dear.” She said as they walked hand in hand to get ready for dinner.


	10. Valentine's Day part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> second part to Valentine's Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little more happy before I break it.
> 
> Thank you all for the comments and kudos. They really do keep a writer going! 
> 
> I struggled a bit with this chapter, but I hope it gives you a little glimpse into their minds.

Abby and Lizzie walked into Scotty’s at six to celebrate their first Valentine's Day over a nice dinner. Lizzie thought it would be romantic to go back to the place where they officially started the beginning of their relationship. As they were shown to their table in the back, they passed Carol and Therese who were apparently just finishing their dinner.   
“Well, fancy meeting you here.” Carol said as they were walking past. 

Abby smiled at seeing her friend and bent down to place a kiss on each cheek! “Happy Valentine's Day, you two! You remember Elizabeth?”

“Of course, hello Dr. Green. Nice to see you again.” Carol was polite and formal. Elizabeth sensed she was also stiff and her expression was a bit cold. 

“Nice to see you as well, Carol. And this is Therese I presume? So nice to finally meet you.” Lizzie held out her hand. 

Therese shook her hand and returned the greeting. She was always shy around new people. She also felt awkward knowing that this woman knew so many intimate details about Carol and she felt a small twinge of jealousy at that fact. 

“Say, nice ring!” Abby noticed it as soon as she saw Therese’s hand. “Did you get one, too?” She asked looking at Carol.

“As a matter of fact, I did!” She showed it off with a grin. 

“Aren’t you two just adorable.” Abby said with a smile. There was a brief moment of uncomfortable silence before Abby finally spoke again. “We better let you finish your dinner. I’ll call you later this week?” She said, looking at Carol. 

“Sure.” Carol replied with a smile as Abby and Lizzie walked back to their table. 

Therese didn’t say anything at first, and she dreaded bringing it back up. Carol was finally acting a little more like herself and seemed calmer, but she knew that Abby was a huge part of her life and having her support was going to be essential over the next few weeks. “You do plan on telling her, right?”

“Hmm?” Carol tried to feign ignorance.

“You know what I’m talking about Carol. I do not want to ruin our night or upset you, I just want to make sure you plan on talking to Abby at some point about what happened.”

“I will, I promise.” Carol lied. “Now, let’s not talk about that unpleasantness anymore tonight. I just want to enjoy the rest of our dinner, go home, and have my way with you.” She winked.

Therese smiled. “Alright.” She knew there was no point in pushing Carol at the moment. 

******* 

Meanwhile, in the back of the restaurant, Abby and Lizzie ordered their drinks and perused the menu. 

“She’s so young.” Lizzie finally said. 

Abby looked up at her and shrugged. “You know I said the same thing when Carol first started seeing her. But Therese is very mature for her age. An old soul, I think. And I cannot believe you never met her in all of the months! How is that possible?”

“Carol came alone to her appointments and the only other person I ever saw with her was you." She nudged her under the table with her foot. "They seem happy.”

Elizabeth really wanted to say something about sensing a problem, but she knew ethically she should not. But Carol was clearly tense and after so many months of working together, she was keenly aware of her emotional tells. The doctor in her wanted to reach out and ask if everything was alright, but now that she was dating Carol’s best friend, Elizabeth knew she could no longer do that, and it made her feel conflicted. She had never been in a situation where she had to choose between her own life and that of a patient. 

“It’s disgusting, isn’t it?” Abby laughed oblivious to Elizabeth’s inner turmoil. “Of course, I think I understand exactly how they feel.” She looked at Lizzie longingly. “You make me very happy.”

Elizabeth decided to set her doctor instinct aside and focus on her girlfriend and in giving her the night she deserved. “I feel the exact same way, honey.” 

The ladies ordered dinner and enjoyed their drinks as they gushed and flirted the night away. Abby was very good at distracting Lizzie from any thoughts of work or from worrying about her clients and any thoughts of Carol were soon replaced with laughter and romance. 

After dinner they returned to Lizzie’s apartment. Abby was practically living there now, though not officially. She would sleep over three to four times a week, assuming she could find someone to stay with her mom. Though she had not discussed it with Lizzie yet, Abby had planned for her mother to be moved into a long-term care facility in March and was hoping that Lizzie would move in with her once that was dealt with. Abby worried a little that Lizzie would think less of her for putting her mother in a home, but she had started to realize that she deserved to have a life, too. She had a right to be happy and in love, just like Carol and Therese. She would promise to visit her mother every weekend, but she should not have to sacrifice her own happiness, not anymore. 

They watched a television special while snuggled up on the couch and then retired to the bedroom to truly celebrate the holiday the right way. As they lay in the bed enjoying the afterglow, Abby rolled over and looking into Lizzie’s eyes and stroked her cheek. “I love you, so much.” She whispered.

“I love you, too.” Elizabeth replied. 

They slept peacefully in each other’s arms.


	11. Avoidance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therese puts her foot down and Lizzie and Abby get honest...almost

After 3 more nights of horrible nightmares, no sleep, and Carol’s never ending mood swings, Therese had finally had enough. She spoke with her boss on Wednesday morning and explained that there had been a death in the family, and she would not only need to leave early that day, but she would need off Thursday and Friday from work. She came home and packed two suitcases. When Carol came home from work on Wednesday evening, she walked into a very resolute Therese. 

“What’s going on?” Carol asked. “Why are you packed?” Fear washed over Carol as worried that Therese was leaving her.

“We are packed. Now, I need you to call your office, tell them there has been a death in the family and that you will be out the rest of the week. If we leave now, we might be able to make it Baltimore or at least get close, tonight. We can drive the rest of the way on Thursday and be there for the funeral on Friday.”

The fear passed and Carol’s blood started to boil in anger. “How dare you make this decision without speaking to me first!”

“You can scream at me all you want. At this point, I’m used to it! You’ve been yelling and crying for days!” Therese hollered back. She stopped and took a deep breath before continuing, “The only way you will get any closure and possibly be able to get back to the woman I love is to go to her funeral and deal with this, Carol.”

Carol stood there stunned into silence by Therese’s outburst. Up until now, Therese had tried to be patient and understanding, but she had reached her limit. 

“Fine.” Carol agreed. Let me go get changed and I want to see what all you packed. If I must see my sister, I need to look fine.” She picked up her suitcase and disappeared into the bedroom. 

The four-hour drive to Baltimore was silent. They stopped at a small hotel north of the city to sleep, but they did not get much rest due to Carol’s continuing nightmares. Therese tried to comfort her, but Carol withdrew from her touch. Therese felt almost as distant from Carol now as when they were separated. The only difference was they were physically in the same room. 

They left early Thursday morning and drove to Norfolk, Virginia, stopping only for gas for food. They still didn’t really speak to each other. Therese could deal with the silent treatment, but the lack of intimacy was hard on her. Carol wouldn't hold her hand, would touch her when they were in bed, and would barely even look at her. 

Carol, for her part, was still angry, though she could not understand why. She knew she had been treating Therese horribly the past few days and she knew that Therese was really trying to help her. And yet, she could not see past her pain and anger. What was worse was that Carol really did not understand why she was so angry. She considered calling Abby but decided against it. She prayed that Therese was right and that she would somehow get something out of this trip and finally start feeling like herself again before her worst fears of Therese leaving came true. 

As they settled into the hotel Thursday night, Carol set out her clothes for the funeral. She washed her face and started at herself in the mirror for a long while. The circles under her eyes made her look like an abused woman. She turned to look at Therese who was already sitting in bed flipping through a magazine. She noticed the same dark circles and was suddenly overwhelmed with feelings of guilt. Carol realized for the first time just how much her pain was overflowing into Therese. “You know I love you, don’t you?”

Therese looked up at Carol, wishing more than anything that she could take all her pain away. “I do.”

Carol looked down at the ring on her finger. “My sister doesn’t know about you…about us. She doesn’t even know about the divorce.”

“Just tell her I’m a friend who came down with you to keep you company.” Therese answered. 

“That doesn’t bother you?” Carol asked tilting her head.

“No. These people are strangers, and I don’t really care what they think of me, but” she stopped herself not wanting to anger Carol or say something that would trigger another round of silence. 

“But what?” Carol asked and walked over to the bed.

“I will not take off my ring. You can tell them whatever you want about who I am to you, but this ring stays on.” 

“I believe I would be quite cross with you if you ever took that ring off.” Carol looked down at the ring on her own finger. “And I will never take mine off.” She got in the bed but did not snuggle up to Therese. “I don’t know how you put up with me. All I seem to do is hurt you.” 

“That isn’t true,” Therese was shaking her head. “Before you, I never knew that a love like this existed. You have given me a beautiful daughter and an amazing home. I absolutely adore you and the life we have built, and I would not trade it for anything. You are my entire world, Carol.”

“You love me even though I keep treating you so badly?”

Therese reached down and took Carol’s hand. “I will love you forever.” She leaned over and kissed Carol sweetly on the lips. “We should try to get some rest.”

“Will you hold me?” Carol asked, scared to close her eyes. 

Never one to deny Carol, Therese answered by laying behind her, wrapping her arms around her waist. She was usually the little spoon, but tonight, she would try to protect her love by being the big spoon. “I love you,” she whispered. 

XXXXXXXXX

It was Wednesday night and Abby and Lizzie were enjoying a nice dinner at the apartment. “Oh before I forget, I have a thing tomorrow after work,” Abby suddenly remembered. 

“A thing?” Abby asked curiously.

“The hospital has hired a new department head, so we are having shindig for him, and then there is also some guest doctor with some new medical procedure that is supposedly a miracle cure for mental illness. So, there is like a welcome party or something.”

“A party and you aren’t taking me to it?” Abby mocked offense. “Sounds thrilling.” She added sarcastically. “I will call Carol and see if she wants to meet for dinner. I really haven’t spent any time with her since the holiday.”

“That would probably be good for both of you.” Lizzie said. “I got the sense that something was wrong when we ran into them the other day.”

“What do you mean?” Abby stopped eating. “I didn’t get that sense at all.”

“Carol was locking her jaw. She does that when she’s upset and trying to repress something.” Elizabeth explained. 

“She does?” This was the first time they had really talked about Carol. Abby tried to keep it light and not ask too many questions. 

“She does.” Lizzie said. “It’s how I know when she is holding something back.” Elizabeth stopped herself from going into any more details. 

“Interesting. So, doctor, since you are so good at reading people, what can you tell me about my habits?” Abby smiled and winked.

“You deflect with humor when something makes you uncomfortable.”

Abby knew it was true, but still didn’t like that Lizzie could read her so easily. “I do not!”

“And you have a habit of avoiding conversations that you think will upset me.” Elizabeth looked at her with a knowing smile. 

“I,” Abby paused, “I don’t want to lose you.” She said, suddenly very nervous. “What if you don’t like what I have to say?” Abby thought of all the conversations she had avoided; conversations about Carol, about asking Lizzie to move in with her, and her decisions about her mother. 

Elizabeth sat back in her chair; her dinner long finished. “Then I don’t like it. We discuss whatever it is and see what happens from there.”

There was a long pause as Abby considered her options. “I want to tell you things, ask you things.”

“So, ask me.” Lizzie reached out and took her hand. “You can tell me anything, Abby.”

“I hate that I feel like I can’t talk about Carol with you.” Abby said. “She is my best friend, but I never feel comfortable even saying her name.”

“Of course, you can talk about her. We just cannot talk about anything she told me in confidence. I can’t violate her trust. If you understand that we can talk about your friendship. That part isn’t off limits.”

“You really mean that?” Abby asked. “Because she is a huge part of my life and not being able to talk about her has been very hard.”

Elizabeth felt a twinge of jealousy run through her. She wondered if she would ever not feel threatened by Abby and Carol’s relationship history. It was hard knowing that Abby had loved Carol first and had pinned over her for so long. The hardest part was knowing that she couldn’t discuss her feelings with Abby, because it would mean talking about something that had been discussed in therapy and was off limits. “Yes, I mean that. What else are you holding back?” 

Abby studied Elizabeth for a few seconds before answering. “How do you know there is something else?”

“You’re avoiding my question.” Elizabeth replied looking over the rims of her glasses. 

Abby realized that living with a psychiatrist meant she would not really be able to hide anything. Would the good doctor always be analyzing her? Would she always be able to see through her? She wondered if she could deal with a relationship that was based on 100% honesty and no more secrets. Suddenly she knew the answer, “move in with me,” Abby said quickly before losing her nerve. 

“What?” Elizabeth said with a shock, pulling her hand away. She was not expecting that. 

“My mother is moving into Brookside next month. You could move into the house with me, if you don’t mind the commute into the city.”

Elizabeth took her glasses off and set them on the table. She took a long sip of her drink. Abby knew she was trying to buy time and prepared herself for being rejected. 

“I don’t want you to get upset, but I need to think about that, Abby.” She said sincerely. “I love all the time that we spend together but living together is a big step.”

“It is, but I love you and I want this. I want to go to bed with you, wake up with you, spend weekends with you, do laundry with you, all of it.”

“Don’t we do that now? Except for the laundry.” Elizabeth gave her a flirtatious smile, trying to lighten the mood. 

“We do, but I want more.” Abby said honestly. 

“Abby I was married for ten years. After my divorce, it took me a long time to build an independent life. And then to allow myself to fall in love again, and with a woman no less, well, that was a major step. I just don’t think I’m ready for such another big leap…at least not yet.”

Abby couldn’t argue with her because she understood how hard it was to be a single and independent woman in the world. She reached out and took Elizabeth’s hand back in hers. “I understand.”

“Are you sure?” The doctor watched her carefully for signs that she was lying or holding back. 

“Lizzie I’ve known I loved women since I was kid. None of this life is new to me. I know what I want, who I want, and what my dreams are. I get that this is a shift for you, and I need to respect your journey. So long as you love me, I can do this however you need too.” It wasn’t what she wanted, but Abby knew that she had to give Lizzie the time she needed. 

She knew that Abby wasn't lying. “I do love you.” Elizabeth said, and leaned forward to kiss Abby over the table. “Now, what’s for dessert?”

Abby gave Lizzie a wicked smile. “Oh I can think of something.”

XXXXXXXXXX

Abby called the furniture house the next morning, hoping to make dinner plans with Carol. Her heart stopped when Carol’s boss informed her that she had taken a few days off due to a death in the family. It was not like Carol to keep something like that from her. She called the apartment and got no answer. She was a whirlwind of worry and anger and wondered who it could have been. She called Therese’s office at the Times and was given the same message that she had taken some time off due a family emergency. Abby wondered if maybe it had been someone it Therese’s family and that is why Carol hadn’t called her. Then she remembered the conversation with Lizzie about Carol locking her jaw when she was repressing something. She steeled herself and called the only person left who might know. It took a bit of begging to get Harge to give up the information, but he eventually did just to get Abby off the phone. Abby’s world was spinning, and her heart ached. How could Carol not tell her? How could she keep something this monumental from her? 

Abby called Lizzie at the hospital. “Carol’s mother died.”

“Oh, that is tragic. When?” Elizabeth asked. 

“That’s just it!” Abby was clearly upset. “I don’t know! She didn’t even bother to tell me. How could she just leave me out like that?”

Elizabeth’s feelings of jealousy returned. “I’m sure she had her reasons, Abby. And it’s not like she’s alone. She has Therese to help her.”

“That isn’t the point. We have always told each other everything.” Abby tried to explain.

“Really? Did you tell her about your mother and about asking me to move in with you?”

“Well…no…but”

“But what, Abby? Look, I have a procedure I must go observe with that Dr. Freeman guy. We can talk more about this tonight. I will call you when I get home.” Lizzie hung up the phone. She sat at her desk for a few minutes thinking. She hated her envious feelings and new that if things with Abby were going to work she was going to need to deal with them one way or another. There was a knock on her office door drawing her out of her thoughts. “Come in.”

Dr. Robert Allen, Elizabeth’s new boss, poked his head in. “Dr. Green, are you ready?”

“I am,” she said grabbing a notebook. “Let’s go see this new miracle!”


	12. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carol and Therese attend the funeral and the reading of the will.

The church was small with only a few mourners in attendance. Carol assumed most of them were neighbors or members of her mother’s bridge group. She saw Elaine, her husband, and their children in the front row but did not move to greet them. 

Therese stood next to her but kept a respectful distance. “Where should we sit? Do you want to go up front with your family?”

“No.” 

Therese could hear the melancholy in her voice. She had prepared herself for the cold and distant version of Carol today so her behavior was not surprising. When they woke up, Carol was quiet and withdrawn and Therese did not push. She decided her job today would just to be a support system, should Carol need it. She would just follow her lead. So, when they sat in the back row away from everyone else in the church, Therese did not question. When Carol avoided walking up to the coffin to pay her respects, Therese did not question. Honestly, viewing a dead body had always seemed very macabre to Therese, so she was grateful for that part.

The service was short and sweet. When Elaine stood to give the eulogy, she saw Carol sitting in the back, and paused briefly, but did not acknowledge her. Therese was shocked at how little they looked alike. Elaine was shorter with mousy brown hair and dull green eyes. She had a few extra pounds around her hips, and wore a nice, but plain dress. She looked like a typical housewife, Therese thought. There was nothing spectacular about her at all. So unlike Carol, who was tall, blonde, with her fascinating blue-grey eyes. Where Carol radiated light and vigor, Elaine looked simple and boring. 

When the service was over, Elaine made a b-line to find her sister. “You came.” There were no hugs or any shows of affection between them. 

“I did.” Carol said. 

Therese noticed that Carol didn’t looked her older sister in the eyes when they spoke. 

Elaine turned to Therese waiting for an introduction that Carol never made.

“I’m Elaine, Carol’s sister.” She finally introduced herself and held out her hand. Therese took it and gave a small shake. “Therese.”

“Stepsister.” Carol corrected her and Therese suddenly understood the differences in them. The air became very tense. 

“Thank you for coming.” She said as she turned back to Carol. “I need to speak with you regarding mother’s final wishes. Are you free this afternoon to meet with the lawyer?”

Carol simply nodded. Her eyes still staring off into the distance.

“I know it's rather soon, but I knew you would only be in town for a short while. Where are you staying?” Elaine inquired.

When Carol didn’t answer, still gazing out into the church, Therese offered the name of their motel. 

“You could have stayed with us, you know. There is plenty of room at the house. I’m sure your niece and nephews would like to get to know their Aunt Carol.”

Again, Carol was silent and cold. Therese followed her line of sight and realized that Carol was staring at the coffin.

“We didn’t want to impose on anyone, and we are fine at the hotel.” Therese explained on Carol’s behalf. “I will make sure Carol makes it to the lawyers office. As you can imagine, this has been rather hard on her.”

Elaine didn't seem to acknowledge Carol's feelings in the slightest. “Oh, he’s coming to the house. Carol? Do you remember how to get there?” Elaine asked.

Again, Carol just nodded. 

“Fine, be there at 3.” Elaine said with an aggravated expression on her face and turned to walk back towards the front of her church to be with her family. There was to be no graveside service because of the cold and wet February weather, so the small crowd slowly said their good-byes, wishing Elaine’s family their condolences. No one came to speak to Carol.

Therese drove them to a small diner close to the hotel and tried to get Carol to eat, but she would only drink coffee. Therese ordered herself a sandwich with the hope that Carol would eat at least a few bites of it, but she didn’t. After lunch, she took them back to the hotel so Carol could rest before the meeting that afternoon. Carol sat on the side of the bed, staring out and still not speaking. Therese sat down next to her but made no move to reach out. She would let Carol be the first to make a move when she was ready, but the silence was getting very unnerving, Therese thought. 

“Do you need anything?” Therese asked sweetly. 

Carol shook her head. 

“How about a nap? Do you want to rest?” 

“I do not need a nap, Therese.” Carol said with a sharp undertone to her voice, much like Sunday after Harge had interrupted them.

“Then tell me what you DO need.” Therese answer back looking at Carol disheartened. 

Carol stood up and started pacing the room. 

“There are cigarettes in your purse.” Therese suggested. Carol had practically quit smoking prior to all this but was back at it with a vengeance. 

Carol retrieved a cigarette from her purse. She kept pacing until the nicotine started to work on her nerves and then sat back down next to her lover. “I’m sure you have many questions.”

“I do, but I figured you would tell me when you were ready.” Therese answered.

After a long pause, Carol finally turned to look at Therese for the first time all day. “My father died when I was six. My mother married my stepfather soon after and moved us to New Jersey. He was a widow and with a nine-year old daughter and a friend of the family, so it was…convenient. I don’t know that they loved each other at all. When he died, my mother moved to Virginia to be closer to Elaine and her children.” Carol explained it all without a hint of emotion. 

“She didn’t want to stay with you?” Therese asked. “I mean you are her actual daughter.” 

“My mother and I never got along. I can’t explain why, I just felt like she always resented me or something.” Carol looked down.

“I understand that, I think.” Therese said. Having been dropped off at an orphanage as a child, Therese was very familiar with parental estrangement.

Carol nodded, “I guess you do, don’t you? Aside from losing my father, it isn’t like a had a horrid childhood. My parents were just cold and distant. Maybe that explains some things about me.” 

Therese had to admit that it did, but instead of saying so she just placed a sweet kiss on Carol’s cheek.

Carol grabbed her face and brought her in for a hard and fierce kiss. “I need you,” she said with a sudden, desperate and breathy edge to her voice, her forehead pressed again Therese’s. Therese understood as she looked into eyes that were filled with anguish. She underdressed Carol and then herself and let Carol dictate what she wanted. Their love making wasn’t sweet or romantic, but full of Carol's desperate need to feel something. Therese gave her body over to Carol and let her use her as she needed. She then poured all of her love into pleasuring Carol, trying to ease some of her pain. 

Afterwards, they got dressed to attend the meeting with the lawyer. Carol stopped before opening the door and turned to look at Therese. “You are amazing, my love.” And gave her a quick kiss. “Never forget how much I adore you.” 

Carol drove them to Elaine’s house, smoking two cigarettes on the way there, attempting to calm the nerves that were quickly returning. Elaine’s house was as unremarkable as Elaine herself, Therese thought. It was smaller than Carol’s house in New Jersey, and not near as elegant. Carol took a long, deep breath before exiting the car, as Therese followed suit walking one step behind her. 

Once inside, Elaine’s husband, Stuart, escorted them to the office. He was a skinny, nice enough looking man. He reminded Therese of an older version of Dannie. 

Therese looked around at the lackluster décor of the house. It was so mundane and boring, not like their apartment. Carol was a brilliant decorator and had filled their home with remarkable color and life. She wondered how two people raised together could be so opposite. 

Therese was suddenly very curious about Carol’s childhood and the people who raised her. She wondered what Carol’s real father had been like and whether she was more like him or perhaps the reason Carol and her mother didn’t get along was because they were too much alike. 

Elaine gave Therese an odd look when they arrived, like her presence there was somehow unnecessary, so, Therese opted to sit in the back of the office. She felt very out of place, but nothing on this earth would drag her away from being there for Carol. 

The lawyer sat at the large desk with a file laid out before him. He was an older, overweight, gentleman, probably in his 60’s with gray hair. Elaine sat next to Carol and Stuart stood behind her, his hands on her shoulders. Therese wanted desperately to stand behind Carol, to support her, but she kept her place in the back. 

They lawyer read a lot of legal jargon at first before finally discussing the inheritance. Margaret, their mother, had divided the property up equally. Each would receive $250,000 and while Elaine inherited her house in Virginia, Carol would inherit her house in Washington. 

Carol’s jaw nearly hit the floor. “I don’t understand.” She said shaking her head. “She still owned it?”

“It was left to her by your father's estate after his death,” the lawyer explained. “She never sold it. I imagine it is quite run down after all these years. But you may be able to get something for the land.”

“I don’t care about that,” she paused. “I don’t want it!” Carol said emphatically. 

“Well, I’m sure I could make arrangements for the property to be sold, if that is what you would like. I’m sure you would need to discuss such matters with your husband, first.” The lawyer said.

“I am no longer married and I do not need a man to make my decisions for me!” Carol said defiantly.

“Carol, when did…” Elaine paused and looked back at Therese. “Never mind, I shouldn’t be surprised.” 

“What the hell does that mean?” Carol raised her voice.

“Nothing,” Elaine shook her head. “Let’s move on.”

Carol also turned to look back at Therese who was sitting there with a very confused expression on her face. She would have more to explain to her later. She turned back around to face Elaine’s lawyer. “I will discuss this with my lawyer when I get back to New York. He will make the arrangements with the house.”

There was an uncomfortable silence in the room for a moment before the lawyer finally cleared his throat. “We will have to make another change, though it shouldn’t be too difficult. I did not realize you were no longer married, Mrs. Aird and the check for your inheritance was made out to your husband. I should be able to have this fixed within a day or two, but as it is the weekend, it would not be until next week. I could mail it to you, if that is alright.”

“That is fine.” Carol said rolling her eyes. It had been hard enough getting a bank account after her divorce. Her own lawyer had to go with her to the bank to vouch for her status as a single woman with no living male relatives before the bank would let her open an account separate from Harge. It was quite the ordeal. She could only imagine the questions when she walked in with a check for that amount. 

“Well, if there is no other business, I believe we are done here.” The lawyer said, closing his file. 

Elaine and Stuart uncomfortably invited Carol and Therese to stay for dinner, but Carol was quick to decline. “We need to start our drive back to New York.” 

Therese did not question, even though she knew there was plenty of time if they left Saturday morning. Elaine didn’t seem heartbroken over their refusal either, in fact, she seemed a little relieved to be rid of her stepsister. Uncomfortable good-byes were exchanged and by 4 o’clock, Therese and Carol were back in the car heading towards the hotel. Therese waited for Carol to have another cigarette before she turned to look at her. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You want to know about the house in Washington.” Carol said, staring straight ahead. 

“Well, yes, but I am more wondering about your relationship with your sister.”

“Stepsister.” Carol corrected her.

“Fine, stepsister. Is there a reason you hate her?” Therese asked. 

“I don’t hate her.” Carol let out a deep sigh. “She’s a perfectly fine person. We just never really got on, that’s all. She was older than me and I think she disliked it when we moved into their house. There is really nothing more to say about it.” Therese imagined there was more to it. She also had a feeling that Elaine had suspicions about the nature of Carol and Therese’s relationship. 

“Then tell me about the house.” Therese changed the subject. 

“I don’t really remember it.” Carol said, brows furrowed, and jaw clenched. 

“Then why did you react in such a way when you found out you inherited it?” Therese was puzzled by Carol’s behavior then and now. It seemed strange to get so upset over a house that one did not remember. 

“I guess it just took me be surprise that she would still own it after what happened there.” 

“What did happen there?”

“My, you are full of questions today, aren’t you?” Carol said diverting from her question. 

“I’m sorry,” Therese replied. “I’m just suddenly very curious about your life. I realized how little I actually know about your history.”

“History is just that, dearest, history. I don’t really know much about yours either, aside from your mother abandoning you.” It was meant to be a jab and Therese felt the sting of it. Carol felt ashamed immediately after saying it.

“There is a difference, Carol. I can’t tell you what I don’t know.” Therese turned and looked out the window with a slight pout on her lips. 

“Well, I guess I’m the same.” Carol said. “I know my father died there. That is enough.” 

Therese started to understand, and though she still had so many questions, she knew not to push Carol further.

They pulled into the hotel and Therese went to the room to pack while Carol went to the office to check out. She had been serious about them starting for New York that evening. When she pulled the car around, Therese had the suitcases packed and was sitting on the bed, looking rather sullen.

“What are you thinking?” Carol asked. 

“I had hoped this trip, the funeral, would bring you some kind of peace and I’m worried it has done just the opposite.” 

Carol picked up her suitcases. “Let’s go home. That is where I will find peace.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for reference, $250,000 is the equivalent of $1.3 million today. I also tried my best to research banking laws in the 1950's. It would have been incredibly difficult for a woman to get an account on her own, without a signature of a male relative.


	13. secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse into my version of Carol's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for jumping around on the time a bit. I just wanted to go back and explain what Elizabeth and Abby were dealing with while Carol and Therese were in Virginia.

New York, Thursday afternoon

Dr. Elizabeth Green slammed her notebook on her desk and screamed, “It’s barbaric!” 

She was followed in to her office by Dr. Allen, “Definitely not conventional, but if it works, Dr. Green, it would be-”

“What?” She interrupted. “It would be a miracle? That patient will never be the same! He just hammered ice picks in his eye sockets and scrambled his brain like an egg! You expect me to think of that as science? As medicine?!?” She was screaming again. 

“We don’t know how the patient will be impacted, yet. He will wake up soon and then we can judge. Stop being hysterical, Elizabeth.”

“Do not call me by my first name!” She demanded. “I earned my degree, same as you, and while you may be my boss, I will not be made to feel inferior just because I am a woman.” 

“I didn’t mean to imply anything. I was merely trying to start a more productive dialogue. I will leave you to calm down. Don't forget my welcome dinner is at six.” He turned to go, closing the office door behind him.

If she could have done so without being fired, Elizabeth would have thrown something at that man’s head. ‘You want a lobotomy? Here!’ She thought imagining a lamp being hurled through the air at him. She sat down and tried to breath deeply, but it was no use. She would never get her blood pressure down while still being at this hospital. She grabbed her stuff and stormed out, leaving directions for her secretary to cancel her appointments that afternoon. She would not be attending the welcome dinner. 

Lizzie wanted to take a long hot bath, drink a glass of wine, and try to forget such a horrible day, alas when she walked inside of her apartment, Abby was sitting on the sofa looking despondent. She had given her a key since she were spending so many nights there and she did not want Abby to get stuck waiting if there was an emergency at the hospital. But Lizzie wasn’t sure she had the strength to deal with a sad girlfriend right now, not after her day.

“I told you I would call you,” she said, setting her purse and medical bag on the table. “why are you here?”

“Wow,” Abby said looking even more dismal. “I didn’t think you’d mind, but clearly I am the last person anyone wants to be around or talk to today, so I’ll just show myself out.” Tears were welling in her eyes as she stood to walk out, but Lizzie stopped her. 

“No, stop.” She walked over and put her arms around Abby. “I’m sorry. I’ve just had an absolutely horrid day and I’m taking it out on you. That isn’t fair of me.”

Abby hugged her back forgiving her immediately. “Would you like a drink?” she offered and made her way to the kitchen. She returned with two glasses of red wine. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I really don't.” Lizzie sat down and sank into the sofa.

Abby sat next to her and placed a hand on her thigh. Elizabeth sighed at the touch and felt some of the tension leave her body. “Did you find out anything more about Carol?” she asked. 

“No, but her mother and sister were based in Virginia, so I imagine she is there.”

“I’m sorry you were hurt by her secrecy, Abby. I know it is hard to understand, but I’m sure she’ll tell you when she’s ready. Maybe they had to rush to Virginia and there just wasn’t time.”

“I just know how much shit this is going to bring up for her. I’m worried, is all.” Abby took a long sip of her wine and felt it burn into her stomach. She desperately wanted the alcohol to wash away the rejection she was still feeling.

Elizabeth didn’t reply, trying her best not to cross a line and share something she shouldn’t. Although, honestly, she really didn’t know anything about Carol’s relationship to her mother as Carol would never discuss it. “How about we grab some dinner and then come home and relax in a nice hot bath,” Lizzie suggested.

“Don’t you have a party to go to?” Abby asked, tilting her head.

“I am not going to celebrate anything that I saw today, that is for sure. Now, where shall we go for dinner?”

<><><><><>

It was late Saturday afternoon before Abby finally got a hold of Carol. Abby could hear the exhaustion in her voice when she answered the phone but could not hold back her hurt and anger. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me! I had to hear it from Harge, of all people Carol! Do you know how worried I was when I couldn’t reach you and your boss told me there had been a death in the family and then I couldn’t reach Therese either and I just didn’t know who else to call!”

“Harge told you?” Carol sounded confused and didn’t respond to Abby’s ire. She was distant and non-reactive. 

Abby could hear that something was off in Carol’s voice. She downshifted her temper and moved into worry. It was not like Carol to avoid sparing with her. The last time this happened was right after Chicago when Carol was at her lowest. “Are you alright? Do you want to talk about it?” Abby offered.

“I’m fine, Abby, really. Just very tired from the trip is all.” Her voice sounded flat and devoid of emotion.

She knew Carol was lying but didn’t know why. She made a mental note to call Therese at work on Monday. “You know I am here if you need anything.”

“I know and I appreciate that. Honestly, right now all I want is a bath, a drink, and to sleep in my own damn bed.”

Abby giggled and felt a small bit of relief at Carol’s language. Maybe her friend was still in there somewhere. “Hotel beds are the worst. Ok, get some rest and call me tomorrow. I want us to do dinner this week. Maybe we could even make it a double date or something.”

“Ok, goodnight.” Carol hung up the phone not giving her an answer on dinner. She felt numb and distant again and tried to shake it off. She just kept having these thoughts creep into her mind, but whenever she tried to focus on them, they disappeared. She hoped the bath and some real rest would have her feeling better soon. She heard the bathwater shut off and Therese called to her in the distance...why did she sound so far away, she wondered?

<><><><><><>

Carol didn’t call Abby on Sunday, so on Monday Abby called The New York Times to get in touch with Therese. 

“What the hell is going on?” Abby demanded as soon as Therese said hello. 

She was taken aback at first, but quickly realized that Carol had clearly not called Abby like she said she would. “I’m sorry, Abby, Carol said she was going to call you.”

“She didn’t call me! No one called me! All I know is my best friend has shut me out!”

“I’m sorry.” Therese said again. She quickly and quietly gave Abby a very short version of events, knowing full well that the gossips sitting around her in the office were always listening. “Can we maybe meet for lunch, Abby? I could tell you more and maybe you could answer some questions for me.”

Abby agreed.

Therese walked into Scotty’s at 12:15 and saw Abby waiting for her. She sat down and ordered her usual, minus the martini as she had to go back to work. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you more over the phone. It’s just the two girls that I share an office with love to spread rumors and innuendo.”

Therese filled Abby in on the week’s events in more detail. She told her about the letter from Elaine that had been delivered via Harge, and about how she had to practically force Carol to attend the funeral. She also filled her in on the mood swings and the emotional roller coaster that was Carol. Abby felt another stab of rejection at hearing that Carol had found out over a week ago and never told her, but she set it aside, now more worried than angry. 

“You said you had questions?” Abby asked. “What about?” Abby could see the exhaustion written all over Therese. There were dark circles under her eyes and if possible, the waif of a girl looked even skinnier. Clearly the events of the week were wearing on her, as well.

“Do you know what happened in Washington? In Carol’s childhood?”

“About her father, you mean? I know he died in some kind of accident. She never really talked about it.”

Therese looked disappointed. “What about her relationship with her mother and stepsister?”

“Her mother was a very cold woman, Therese, at least as far as Carol was concerned. She kept her at arm’s length and was always so quick to judge her for everything. I think it was one of the reasons she was so desperate to marry Harge, to get away from her mother. From the pan into the fire.”

“But wasn’t she 24 when she married him?” Therese was trying to imagine Carol being her age. 

“An old maid, according to her mother. Oh, and her mother despised me. Told her I was a bad influence, which of course just made Carol want to spend more time with me. I know it was hard on her when I went off to college. Her mother thought college was a waste of time for women. When I came back, she was already seeing Harge and talking about marriage, but I knew it was really all about her mother. I told her not to marry him. He was so wrong for her, but she didn’t listen. She never listens,” Abby was shaking her head.

“She wanted to go to college?” Therese was curious now. She wondered how different their life would have been. Would they have even met if Carol had gone to college and not become a wife and mother?

“I’m not sure wanted is the right word. It was more like she wanted to escape to college and get away from her mother. Carol is incredibly intelligent, and she loves to read, but she never really had a clear career path. She was a debutante and there were expectations and obligations she was taught to fill. Lord, I imagine Margaret is spinning in her grave now, not only is Carol a divorcee, but she’s a lesbian!”

Therese flinched at the last word. She had never thought of herself as one of those women. She was just a woman in love with Carol. She only wanted Carol and could not imagine ever being attracted to anyone other than Carol. She remembered the actress at the party that hit on her and how uncomfortable she was. Was there a word for someone who as only in love with one person she wondered? 

“Therese!” Abby brought Therese out of her thoughts. “I asked you about her sister. What happened with her?”

“Sorry, I can get lost up here sometimes.” She said pointing to her head. “It wasn’t like anything specific happened; they just seemed to hate each other. Carol’s sister was, well, a bore honestly. They are truly polar opposites.” 

“Always were.” Abby added. “I think she was always jealous of Carol to be honest. Carol was prettier, smarter, and had way more friends in school.”

“I wonder, though, if she knows what happened in that house that made Carol so adamant about not wanting it. I can’t really explain it, Abby, I just have a feeling that it’s more than just her father. These nightmares she’s having are so...violent. She screams like she’s being hurt.”

Abby felt a flush of anger at the thought of someone hurting Carol. She shook her head. “I cannot imagine Carol would have told her anything. I was the only one that knew all her secrets and she never told me anything about what happened there, at least no specifics. Maybe it’s better that Carol doesn’t remember, Therese. Maybe her brain is protecting her from something. If we push her to remember, it could make this all worse. I think if we just give her time to grieve, she’ll be back to her old self soon, driving us both crazy.”

“I hope you’re right, Abby.” Therese looked down at her half-eaten lunch and sighed. “I should get back to work.”

“Can we all do dinner on Friday, you think?” Abby asked before Therese left. 

“I’ll be sure to ask and I will call you and let you know.” Therese went to leave some money on the table, but Abby waved her off. 

“My treat.”

“Thank you and thank you for helping me to understand her a little better.” Therese said before leaving. 

Abby sat there and finished her meal alone. She desperately wanted to ask Elizabeth if she knew anything about Carol’s life in Washington, but she knew that their sessions were a forbidden topic. She’d have to find another way to help Carol.


	14. Flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning- this chapter will deal with someone in the midst of a PTSD flashback. There is violence.

By Friday night, Therese felt that life was slowly returning to normal. Carol’s nightmares were coming less frequently, and she was smiling a little more. It appeared as if she was coming to terms with the death of her mother. Therese was grateful that Abby had apparently been correct, and Carol was acting more like herself. Carol had even called Abby that afternoon and plans were made for them all to have a double date on Saturday night once Harge picked up Rindy. Carol said she was looking forward to spending time with Abby and catching up with her. 

Florence dropped Rindy off promptly at six o'clock Friday night. Carol gave her a big hug and helped her put her overnight bag in her room. Therese and Rindy watched the television while Carol made Rindy’s favorite dinner. They ate and laughed, and it all seemed perfectly normal again, except that Carol felt like a fraud. 

She was smiling and laughing and hugging her child, but she still felt so numb. Normally, when she held Rindy she felt warm and complete, but tonight she noticed the absence of warmth and that bleakness scared her. After dinner she made herself a drink, trying to replace the warmth of her child with the warmth of the alcohol.  
Therese took notice but didn’t say anything about the drink. It was Friday and it had been a long week, she rationalized. One drink wouldn’t hurt.

After bath time, Carol sent her daughter off the bed for the evening. The iciness in her veins was growing and she felt like she would drown in the cold. 

Instead of getting in her bed, however, Rindy pulled her train set from under the bed and turned it on.

Carol came in to tuck her in and saw the child and the train on the floor and her temper flared. “What the hell are you doing?” Carol said sharply causing Rindy to jump. 

“I wanted to play with it for a few minutes, mommy. I’m sorry,” her voice trembling. She pushed it back under the bed slowly, never taking her eyes off her mother.

“I told you it was time for bed.” Her voice was irate and hard.

The five-year-old moved to get into the bed, not wanting to upset her mother further. 

Carol walked over, the ice in her veins sending chills through her. She didn’t move to hug or kiss Rindy goodnight but instead just looked at her with a detached expression, as if she was a stranger. “Good night.” She said as she turned to leave the room. 

Rindy sat there wondering what she had done wrong to upset her mother so badly. She started to sniffle as a few tears rolled down her face. 

Therese walked by and heard a little whimper, “Rindy? What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“Mommy is mad at me.” The flood gates opened and Rindy started to cry. Therese ran over to hold her and comfort her.

“Mommy isn’t mad at you, honey. Why do you think that?” She rocked her in her arms. Therese had been cleaning up the kitchen while Carol had gotten Rindy ready for bed and had missed the drastic shift in her personality. 

“She didn’t kiss me goodnight and she yelled at me for wanting to play with my train set.” 

“I see,” Therese said, suddenly worried about Carol. “You know, I’ll bet mommy is just tired. She’ll be better in the morning and you know she loves you, right?” Therese got Rindy to lay back down and tucked her in. “And I love you, too,” she said as she bent down to give Rindy a sweet little Eskimo kiss on her nose.

Rindy giggled, her tears finally calmed, “I love you, too.”

“Now get some sleep.”

Therese left the door cracked and went out to the living room. Carol was making a second drink. “Carol, what did you say to Rindy? I went in there and she was crying.”

Carol turned, eyes flashing with anger. “What did you say to me?”

Therese tilted her head and took a step closer. She felt her blood pressure rising and her heart started to race. “I said Rindy was crying. What did you say to upset her?”

“How dare you tell me how to raise my child!” She screamed as she started stalking towards her, like an animal hunting its prey.

Therese was suddenly terrified of the crazed woman in front of her. “Carol, what is wrong with you?” She moved back so that the sofa was in between them.

“What’s wrong?” She downed the rest of her drink. “What’s wrong?” She yelled. “I am sick and tired of people asking me that! And I am tired of you telling me what to do! And I am tired of that sniffling, weak, little girl sucking the life out of me!” Carol screamed enraged!

Therese was horrified at the scene playing out in front of her. She turned to get away from Carol and saw Rindy peaking her head around the corner in the hallway. Before she could react, Carol was across the room. She grabbed the child by her arms and shook her. “I told you to go to bed!” 

Therese ran and grabbed Rindy away and put her behind her. “Carol! Stop this now! You are hurting her!” She turned to look at Rindy, “Run to your room and lock the door, go!” 

Rindy ran to her room and closed and locked the door Therese tried to block Carol, but Carol just shoved her to the side and chased after the little girl. She pounded on the door in fury, “Get out here right now you worthless, spoiled, brat!”

Therese ran to the phone as quickly as she could she dialed Elizabeth’s number. “You have to come now! Carol has gone crazy!” She said slamming down the phone. 

Carol overheard her on the phone and came back in the living room, looking feral and frenzied. “Who the fuck were you talking to?”

Therese stood up straight, ready to fight the wild woman in front of her. “I called Abby. You need to calm down, Carol!”

Carol picked up a picture frame off a table next to her and hurled it across the room at Therese, who ducked and ran. She looped around the room as Carol chased her screaming like a wild banshee. Therese finally got past her and made it into her darkroom, locking the door behind her. She could hear Rindy crying in the room next door, but knew she was helpless. Carol kept banging on the door and it was so loud that Therese was sure she would break it down. Finally, after a few minutes that felt like an eternity, the pounding stopped. Therese didn’t move, but stayed in her room and prayed that Rindy would do the same. 

<><><><><><><>

Abby looked at Elizabeth who was suddenly running around her living room frantically. “Grab your coat and car keys, we have to hurry!” 

Abby was worried. “What is happening?”

Grabbing her medical bag, Elizabeth ran out the door. “I’ll tell you on the way!”

Therese could hear Abby knocking on the door, but Carol wasn’t answering. She carefully unlocked her door and poked her head out of her darkroom; Carol wasn’t there. She walked to the living room as quickly and a quietly as possible and opened the door. Abby and Elizabeth made their way in as Therese shushed them and told them to whisper. 

“Where is she?” Lizzie asked.

“I don’t know!” Therese started to cry but tried her best to keep it together. 

Abby wrapped her arms protectively around her shoulders. “What happened? Where is Rindy?” 

Just then Rindy came running out of her room, “Aunt Abby!” She was crying and trembling as she jumped into her arms.

“What the hell happened?” she said, looking at the state of Therese and Rindy and the broken glass shattered on the floor.

“She just went crazy, she was screaming and trying to hurt us. I didn’t know who else to call, I’m sorry.” Therese said in between sobs. She wrapped her arms around herself.

“You did the right thing. Do you know where Carol is now?” Elizabeth asked.

“I didn’t hear the door, so she must still be here.” They looked around the living room and kitchen but Carol was not there.

Elizabeth grabbed a syringe out of her bag and walked towards the back of the house. 

Abby stopped her, “Wait, I’m coming with you!” She looked down at Rindy. “You stay with Therese, little one.” She looked at Therese, “and you need to call Harge.”

Therese nodded and grabbed Rindy and walked over to the phone. How was she ever going to explain this? 

Abby and Elizabeth walked around the house carefully, not knowing fulling what to expect. They walked to the bathroom and found nothing before making their way back to the master bedroom. They found Carol crouched in the back corner, rocking herself, with a gun in her hand. 

Lizzie looked at Abby. “ I need you to go call for an ambulance, Abby, quickly.” 

Abby didn’t say anything, too shocked by the sight in front of her. She backed out of the room slowly, leaving her best friend and lover behind. Fear was written all over her face as she walked back out of the living room and over to the phone. “Did you get in touch with Harge?” she asked.

“Yes, he is on his way. He’ll never forgive her for this, Abby.” Therese was sitting on the sofa with Rindy in her arms. 

“We can’t worry about that right now.” Abby said as she picked up the phone and got in touch with the operator. “Yes, I need an ambulance please to this address.” Therese could hear her voice shaking as she gave the address and a few details. Abby was scared. 

“Where is she?” Therese asked and Abby motioned toward the bedroom as she hung up the phone. 

Therese set Rindy on the couch and spoke with her as calmly as she could. “I’m going to go check on your mommy, can you stay here with Aunt Abby? I’ll be right back.”

She was horrified she walked into the bedroom and saw Carol rocking herself in the back corner. Her clothes were ripped to shreds, her hair was wild and her make-up smeared as tears were rolling down her face. Elizabeth was sitting on the floor in front of her, syringe still in hand. 

Therese walked towards her slowly, “Carol?”

Carol didn’t speak. She just kept rocking. It was then that Therese saw the gun in Carol’s hand. “Oh, God.” She said in a whisper. 

Therese moved a little more quickly than she should towards Carol, who jumped and tried to push herself back into the wall. “Carol, it’s me…it’s Therese.” She tried to speak slowly and calmly, but her nerves were shot and she could hear her voice shaking.

Elizabeth held up her hand as if to tell Therese not to come any closer. 

“What’s wrong with her?”

“I think she’s stuck in a flashback and I’m not sure if she knows where she is or who we are.” Lizzie said. “Do you know if that gun is loaded, Therese?” She said in a calm and steady voice.

“I…I don’t think so…” She tried to think if Carol had ever purchased bullets. She remembered Carol coming home with the gun not long after Therese had moved in. She said it was better, safer, since they were two women living alone. Therese wasn’t comfortable with the gun in the apartment, but she cowed to Carol’s wishes. 

Elizabeth took a deep breath and pulled the cap off the syringe. She slid a tiny bit closer very slowly towards Carol, who’s eyes darted back and forth between her and Therese. She looked like a wild animal who was trapped. Elizabeth kept her voice calm and balanced. “Carol…it’s Dr. Green…do you know me?”

Carol didn’t respond and Elizabeth moved the smallest bit closer. Carol’s eyes kept darting around the room like she was looking for an escape. 

“Therese, can you distract her? Try to get her attention?” Therese nodded and dropped to her knees and tried to get Carol to look into her eyes. 

“Oh Carol, honey…can you hear me? It’s me…your angel.” 

For a brief second, Therese thought she saw a flash of recognition as Carol looked at her. 

“Your angel, flung out of space.”

Carol’s eyes grew wide and she started looking around the room frantically? “Therese?” She spoke for the first time and looked down at herself. She saw the gun in her hand and started to panic, “What happened? What did I do?” She was crying and about to hyperventilate when suddenly she felt a sharp sting in her arm. She turned to see Dr. Green. 

“it’s okay, Carol. It’s just to calm you down.”

The room started spinning and then there was darkness.


	15. The ward

Carol awoke to the smell of antiseptic and the mint green walls she despised and immediately recognized as the hospital. There were no wires and no heart monitor, and no one was the room with her. She tried to move but couldn’t. Panic began to wash over her as she looked down and realized she was strapped to the hospital bed. She felt helpless and scared and hollered for someone, anyone to come help her. She saw a face look through a window in the door and heard keys turning a lock. An older, rough looking nurse walked into the room. “How are we feeling today?”

Carol was fighting her restraints. 

“You won’t be getting out of those, so best save your energy. I’m just going to call Dr. Green and let her know you are awake. You just rest.” The nurse disappeared closing and locking the door behind her. 

A few minutes later, Dr. Green came into the room. “Carol?”

Feeling overwhelmed and confused, Carol glared at her. “What am I doing here? What have you done to me?”

“Oh, thank goodness,” she said. Elizabeth stood and called for the nurse to come in. “You can undo the straps now.”

“Are you sure?” The mean looking nurse asked. “You know what happened last time.”

“I’m sure. Carol is back with us, aren’t you?” 

Carol didn’t appreciate being spoken to like she was a child. “I do not understand what is happening, Doctor Green. Why am I strapped down? Tell me why I am here?”  
The nurse moved closer to the bed and slowly undid the leg straps one at a time. She waited to see if Carol would start kicking again. She then undid the right arm strap as Elizabeth undid the left. Carol’s body was stiff and sore.

“One thing at a time, Carol. Do you know what day it is?” Elizabeth asked. 

“Friday.” Carol answered, rolling her eyes like it was the dumbest question ever asked.

“It’s Wednesday.” Dr. Green corrected her.

“What?” Carol said bewildered. “That’s not possible.”

“You were admitted to the hospital on Friday night. Do you remember what happened?”

“Well clearly not if I think it is still Friday!” Carol was getting upset.

“Please try to stay calm, for me. I know this is confusing. First, let me tell you that Therese and Rindy are fine. I’ve been keeping everyone updated on your welfare.”

“Why wouldn’t they be fine? Dr. Green just tell me what is happening!” Carol yelled and the stern looking nurse that was all to happy to strap her back down took a step closer. Carol took the hint and tried to settle down. 

“Take a deep breath for me.” Elizabeth looked at her with empathy. “It’s okay.”

Carol did as she was told and tried to relax a little, but it was incredibly difficult to do with the blank spaces in her mind. 

“Carol, I need you to trust me right now. Can you do that? I am not going to tell your everything that has happened because we need to keep you calm. So, can you trust me? Work with me? And I promise I will explain everything to you as it is safe to do so and we can get you home as soon as possible.”

Carol nodded and thought of home and of Therese and Rindy. 

“You were brought in on Friday night. You had an…episode…a flashback I think and I had to sedate you. You’ve been in and out of consciousness since you were admitted, but this is first time you’ve really been coherent.” Dr. Green explained.

Carol didn’t respond, she just stared out in front of her trying to remember anything about that night. 

“You may still feel a little out of it. We’ve had to sedate you quite a bit, but it should pass.”

“I hurt her.” Carol finally said as a look of horror crossed her face. She had a flash of shaking Rindy in her mind. “I hurt my baby girl.” Tears started to well up in her eyes and Dr. Green could tell her emotional state was shifting. 

“Stay with me Carol. Look at me.”

Carol turned to look at her doctor, her breath shaky. 

“Rindy is fine and so is Therese. They are both fine. I need you to stay calm or we will have to strap you down again. We don’t want that do we?”

Carol shook her head. “I…I’m sorry.”

“I know.” Elizabeth placed a hand on Carol’s. “It’s going to be alright. Just please trust me. I am going to call Therese and let her know you are awake. She will be very relieved.”

“Can I see her?” Carol asked weakly.

“Not yet.” Dr. Green said, shaking her head. “There are no visitors allowed in this ward.”

It took a minute for Carol to register what she was saying. “I’m…I’m in the psych ward?”

“Yes. It was for your own safety, Carol. I will explain more later. For now, what I need you to do is try to rest, and if possible, I would like you to try to remember what you can about your father.”

Carol’s eyes flashed like lightening. “My father?”

“Yes.” Dr. Green stood and walked toward the hospital room door. "I will return soon. Remember to breath and to do your best to stay calm. Okay?”

Carol laid back and closed her eyes. She stretched out her aching body and tried to remember the past few days of her life. It was just an empty void of time and space. Eventually, she fell back asleep. 

Carol woke, standing at the top of a long, glamorous staircase. She looked at it and thought it reminded her of the staircase in the movie ‘Gone with the Wind’. She could hear voices yelling in the distance, but there was no one in the foyer with her. She turned and walked towards the voices, “Therese? Rindy?” She called, but no one answered.

Suddenly there was a huge wood door with a large brass doorknob. It was locked, but she could hear the yelling voices behind it. She knocked by no one answered. She shouted for Therese and Rindy again. The doorknob started to turn, and Carol suddenly knew to be afraid of what was on the other side of that door. She ran just as the door opened. She felt someone chasing her as she ran back towards the staircase. The hallway was stretching and getting longer, and the walls were getting higher and she felt so small. She was running, faster and faster, and could see the stairs that would be her escape, but they seemed so far away. Just then someone grabbed her arm and she screamed, but it was not her voice! It was Rindy’s voice! She jerked and tried to get away, but it was no use. And then she was falling…and falling…and screaming. 

Carol woke up again with a jolt, strapped to her hospital bed. She started to cry silently as she turned to look out the window. It was raining.


	16. Regressing

Dr. Elizabeth Green sat in Dr. Allen’s office, flushed with anger. “What do you mean you read my notes?” She asked through clenched teeth. She was ready to leap across her desk and beat the man senseless. “That is confidential, doctor-patient privilege!”

Dr. Allen looked down at her and let out an exasperated sigh. “And I am also a doctor in this department and your boss, might I add. I was concerned you were missing something in her treatment and clearly I was right to be concerned, doctor.” 

“Carol is making progress, Dr. Allen. The trauma that she has been through has clearly had a major impact, but she is improving every day.” Elizabeth argued. She ran her hands down her skirt, trying to smooth out the wrinkles and calm herself down. 

“Improving? Do you even have a diagnosis? I mean aside from sexual deviancy, that is.” Dr. Allen asked.

Rage- absolute rage coursed through every inch of Elizabeth’s body. There was no controlling it now. “Have you read the work of Dr. Kinsey? Are you even keeping up with the science? Carol is NOT a deviant! And her love life is not why I had her admitted!” 

“Then why is she here, Dr. Green? What is your official diagnosis of your patient?”

“Honestly,” Dr. Green thought for a brief second, “I would say shell shock.”

Dr. Allen let out a large guffaw. “Don’t be ridiculous! She wasn’t a soldier at war, she is a housewife and mother.”

“Trauma can come in many forms, Dr. Allen.” She felt like her teeth would break she was clenching her jaw so tightly. 

“What meds do you have her on?” he asked, flipping through her file.

“I have only prescribed sleeping pills. I need her awake and aware for her therapy sessions. I believe it says that…in MY notes.”

“How many sessions now? How long has she been here?” He asked, already knowing the answer. 

“Two weeks, today. She was admitted on Friday February 26th.”

“And during that time, hasn’t she actually regressed? Nurse Mead said she was talking one day and was catatonic a day later. That doesn’t sound like improvement to me.”

“You know as well as I do that patients can sometimes get worse before they get better. I’m telling you; she is improving.”

“Hmmm…” he said, tapping his pencil annoyingly on his desk.

“I want you to consider other options. Dr. Green.”

“Such as?” She through her hands in the air.

“Have you thought of ECT? It’s been shown to help with emotional instability in patients with extreme depression.”

“You want me to run electricity through the brain of a trauma patient? How could that possibly benefit her?” Elizabeth was baffled by the man’s ignorance and incompetence. 

“What about Dr. Freeman’s lobotomy technique. That patient you were so sure was going to be a vegetable recovered quite nicely.” He suggested.

“Recovered? He was a psychopath!” Dr. Green was shouting again. “Sure, now he is calmer, and no longer trying to kill people. That is just like what happened with Carol!” The sarcasm dripping from her statement. 

“Well, if what you say about your patient’s trauma is true, perhaps this loss of emotion would help her.” He tried to rationalize his suggestion. 

“Have you lost your mind?” It was insufferable to work with someone so stupid, she thought. “She’s not a danger to herself or anyone else. Why would I authorize such an extreme procedure?”

“Calm down, Dr. Green” He could not stand hysterical women. He pulled out a page of notes from a file on his desk. “Your descriptions upon her admittance to the ward were, and I quote, ‘patient suffered a violent outbreak, was found holding a gun, attacked girlfriend and child before being sedated…and patient was strapped to bed after violent nightmares caused her to attack nurses.’ He closed the file. “She sure seems like she’s a danger to herself and others.”

“The gun was not loaded, and she was having flashbacks.”

“Back to the shell shock diagnosis. Ok, flashbacks of what exactly.”

“I don’t know, yet. That is what the therapy is for.” Lizzie’s head was pounding.

“You know what I think, Dr. Green. I think you have gotten too emotionally involved with this patient which is why you aren’t looking at the possible benefits of either of the procedures I recommended. I also think you are missing the most obvious diagnosis of hysteria. But I am willing to give you a little more time to prove your diagnosis and help your patient. I will come examine her myself in a few days and if I don’t see this improvement you speak of, then I will take over her care. Let’s see, today is Friday, March 12th.” He looked down at his calendar. “I will come check on your patient on Thursday the 18th. I think three weeks is plenty of time for you to make a definitive diagnosis and come up with plan. Don't you?”

“I will not turn my patient over to you!” Elizabeth said emphatically.

“Again, you forget your place. Every patient in this ward is under MY care and YOU work for me. Is that clear, Dr. Green?” He was smirking and she wanted to punch him.

Elizabeth stormed out of the office and slammed the door so hard Dr. Allen’s framed medical degree fell off the wall. She needed a plan and fast!


	17. survival plan

Friday February 26  
9 pm

Carol was loaded onto the gurney and taken to the ambulance right as Harge arrived to the apartment. Elizabeth walked out with the ambulance crew, looking over at Therese who was sitting on the couch on her way out. Therese was still holding Rindy, who despite her best efforts to fight it, had fallen asleep. Harge looked scared and confused at the scene in front of him. 

Abby walked over, “come with me and I’ll explain.” He looked over at his daughter, and then followed Abby into the kitchen. Abby told Harge what she knew about the events of the night and begged him to stay calm. She asked if he knew of anything in Carol’s past that would have triggered her breakdown. Harge just shook his head and walked back into the living room and reached down to pick up his daughter. 

“Daddy?” She said sleepily. “I want to go home.”

“I know sunshine.”

Therese started to cry again as the memory of the night kept replaying in her head. “She didn’t mean it…you know she didn’t mean it…” she just kept saying over and over to him. Her biggest fear at that moment was that Harge would take Rindy away from Carol for good this time. 

He looked down at Therese, a deep sadness on his face. “Can you call me tomorrow, please, when you find out how she is?” 

Therese agreed.

Abby sat down next to her on the sofa as Harge left with Rindy safe in his arms. She was trying hard not to cry as the strain of the nights events hit her. She knew she needed to stay composed to help Therese, but it was proving very difficult. “Are you okay, Therese?”

Therese shook her head, as her shoulders started to shake and she started to unravel. The tears came pouring out and Abby held her, trying to offer the last little bit of strength she had, but it wasn’t long before she was crying, too.

Elizabeth walked back into the apartment and her heart broke at the two women crying on the couch. She walked over and placed a hand on Abby's shoulder. “I need you take me to the hospital, Abby. I want to be there when she is admitted.”

Abby wiped her face and stood up. “Are you going to be okay for a little while?" she asked Therese. "I can come right back.” 

Therese didn’t speak; she just nodded. 

“Why don’t you go take a bath and try to calm down. I can come stay here tonight, okay?” Abby offered.

Therese wiped her nose on her shirt sleeve and looked at Lizzie, “Can I go to the hospital?”

“I’m afraid not." Elizabeth explained. "I am going to have to admit her to the psych ward of the hospital, Therese, and there are no visitors allowed. But I will let you know how she is doing. I promise.”

Therese took a deep breath and looked around the apartment. “I need to clean up the mess.” 

Abby remembered this version of Therese. She looked broken, the same as she did after Carol left her in Chicago. “Therese, you know this isn’t the same as last year.  
She didn’t leave you. We will get her through this, and she’ll be back home, soon.”

Therese stood up and straightened her shoulders. “Please call me as soon as you can, Doctor Green.” She looked down at Abby, “I will be fine. You don’t have to stay with me tonight, but I would appreciate it if you could come over tomorrow. There are things we need to arrange on her behalf.”

Abby was surprised at how grown-up and strong she sounded all of a sudden and agreed to Therese’s wishes. She gave her a quick hug and walked out with Lizzie to drive her to the hospital. She had a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach that everything was about to change. 

Lizzie didn’t say much in the car and it was making Abby uneasy. “Please tell me what happened to her?” she begged. 

“Abby, I can’t tell you what I don’t’ know. She would never discuss her family.” She looked down and let out a breath. "You probably know more than I do."

“I don't. I really don’t understand how all this happened. She seemed to be getting better and she sounded fine when I spoke with her earlier today.”

Elizabeth was suddenly very uncomfortable. “We have to talk, Abby. I will need to find her a new therapist.”

“What? Why? No! Carol needs you!” Abby demanded. 

They pulled up to the hospital, but Lizzie didn’t immediately get out of the car. “Abby, I can’t be impartial. How am I supposed to help her and NOT tell you what is happening? You are going to want to know and I cannot tell you anything about what happens in there, don’t you understand? You aren’t family. Technically I can’t even tell Therese!” Lizzie was getting upset now, too.

“Are you kidding me right now?” Abby’s eyes were watering up, “Carol is my best friend! Therese is basically her wife! You know this! Of course, you have to tell us what is happening!”

“There are rules, Abby.” LIzzie tried to explain.

“Fuck your rules!” Abby shouted! “Carol needs you and you will help her! I don’t give a shit about anything else!”

“Even our relationship?” Elizabeth said through pained eyes.

“NO!” She shouted and then immediately regretted it. She had done it again, sacrificing her own happiness and needs for someone she loved. But it was too late to take it back. 

Lizzie opened the car door and got out without another word. Tears were rolling down her cheek, but she wiped them away. She would not let her emotions get in the way of her job. 

Abby didn’t drive away, she just sat there unsure of what had just happened. Did she just break up with Lizzie? That wasn’t what she wanted. That wasn’t what she wanted at all! She turned off the car and got out, “Wait!” she called after her. 

Elizabeth turned and wiped her face again. “No, you said what you needed to say. Carol will always come first with you, Abby.” She took another deep breath. “I will do what I can for my patient, and I will keep Therese informed as much as I can without breaking my oath.” She turned and walked into the hospital without looking back. 

<><><><><><>

Saturday morning

Abby was at Carol’s apartment early the next morning. It was obvious that neither of them had had slept. The broken glass had been cleaned and the apartment was spotless. 

“Did you stay up all night cleaning?” Abby looked around the apartment.

“I couldn’t sleep in the bed without her.” Therese explained.

“Have you heard anything yet?" Abby asked.

“No. You?”

Abby looked down and slumped, “I don’t think I will. We broke up last night.”

“What? Why?” Therese asked taken aback.

“Basically, I told her that Carol had to come first and then I got angry because she said I wasn’t her family.”

“I see. I’m not family either, Abby. What does that mean for Carol?”

“Lizzie said she would keep you informed. I pray she does, otherwise I’m afraid we are out of the loop. This whole system is asinine. She is more my family than anyone and as I told Lizzie, you two are practically married. Why should we be held to some antiquated system of rules that doesn't acknowledge us and our relationships?”

The phone rang and Therese ran over to answer it. 

It wasn’t the hospital. “Yes, hello. No, she isn’t in…I’m sorry, she has taken ill and is currently in the hospital…Yes, I can do that…Are you sure? I wasn’t aware you worked on Saturdays…I understand. Yes, I will be doing that until she is out of the hospital…I appreciate that.” She hung up the phone. 

“It was Carol’s lawyer," Therese explain. "The check from the inheritance arrived. He asked if I could come get it and deposit it into her account.”

“I can drive you.” Abby offered. 

Over the next couple of days, it became apparent that Abby and Therese would be a team in taking care of Carol’s business and life dealings. Abby called the furniture house and gave a vague explanation regarding Carol’s health. Her boss agreed to hold her job. Therese worked with the lawyer to make sure Carol’s bills were paid while she was incapacitated. He would not be able to do anything about the house in Washington until Carol could sign the papers, so that would have to wait. And Therese didn't know what to do with the inheritance check, so she just kept it on the dining room table. 

Both Therese and Abby had to go to work during the day, but they had dinner together every night. Elizabeth would call Therese every few days with vague updates. Carol was awake, Carol was improving, but she was never told anything of detail and her questions were always left unanswered. Abby would get angry every time Lizzie called and refused to give Therese any real details. How could she love someone who didn’t understand this? Therese made sure to call Harge every time she got an update and he promised to tell Rindy. 

After two weeks, both Therese and Abby were lonely, miserable, and at their wits end. Therese missed Carol terribly and prayed every night just to be able to hear her voice. She would stare at her picture, wear her perfume and sleep in her pajamas. Her depressed mood was evident at work as well and Dannie had to cover for her on more than one occasion when she would break down. 

Abby was angry and yet still missed Elizabeth desperately. She felt like two pieces of her heart had been ripped out that night. She managed to get through each day without killing anyone, but it was getting more and more difficult. 

On Friday night, two weeks to the day that Carol had been taken to the hospital, everything changed. Therese was hiding in her darkroom while Abby sat on the sofa watching television when they were both stunned by a knock on the door. 

Abby opened the door to see Elizabeth. Her heart jumped at the sight of her and then sank when she remembered how they had ended things. “What are you doing here?” She asked, a little harsher than she intended. 

“Can I come in? We need to talk…all of us.” 

Therese came out of her darkroom when she heard Elizabeth’s voice. If she was here, the news had to be bad. “Is Carol alright?” 

“Can we all sit? This is going to be…we have a lot to discuss.” She said walking past Abby. 

Abby and Therese sat next to each other on the sofa and Lizzie pulled over a chair. It was incredibly awkward and tense. “We need to come up with a plan.” Elizabeth said getting right to the point. 

She finally explained the details of Carol’s condition. She told them how Carol basically slept from Friday until Wednesday and would lash out in her nightmares. She explained that Carol had to be restrained every night and Therese’s eyes started to tear up at imagining this. Abby reached over and took her hand in an offer of support. 

Lizzie continued and explained Carol’s current catatonic state and about how she had woken up, but then apparently had another dream and had not spoken a word since. She assumed Carol had remembered something that had pushed her further inward. And then she told them about her meeting with Dr. Allen that afternoon.

Abby stood and lit a cigarette and started pacing, her anger rising to a boiling point and about to overtake her senses. Therese sat quietly in a state of absolute shock. 

“I know this is a lot to take in, but we have got to come up with a plan.” Elizabeth reminded them.

“A plan to do what exactly?” Abby looked at her accusingly. “You just sat here and told us that we have one week to save Carol before she either gets her brains cooked or scrambled! But up until tonight, you haven’t told us shit about what was happening!” She was yelling now, “We have no way of helping her! NONE! We can’t even see her!”

“Abby, what I’m saying is we have to come up with a plan to break her out of the hospital.” 

“What?” Therese said in confusion. “What do you mean break her out?”

“I mean exactly that. We are going to break her out of the hospital, and you are going to have to take her far away from here, Therese. The hospital will alert the police and they will come looking for her, so you will need to get out of the state.”

Abby was shaking her head, “Won't that destroy your career? And where are they supposed to go exactly? And how? You just said that Carol is still unwell. How is Therese supposed to help her with that?”

“I don’t have all the answers, Abby. That is why I am here!” Lizzie stood and placed her hands on her waist. “So why don't you stop yelling at me, and help me figure out how we are going to do this!”

Abby sat down.

“How long do we have again?” Therese asked. 

“He is coming to evaluate her on Thursday, so Wednesday at the latest.” Lizzie explained.

Abby looked at Therese. “Are you willing to do this? To up and leave everything behind?”

“It wouldn’t be forever, just until she gets better, right?” she asked Lizzie. 

“There are no guarantee’s Therese,” Lizzie answered. “She may never get better. Are you willing to take care of her for the rest of her life?”

“She is my life!” Therese raised her voice and stood. She walked over to the window and then looked at the ring on her finger. “I will do whatever I have to do, but I refuse to believe that the woman I love isn’t still in there. Carol is stronger than this, she just needs time to heal!”

“I hope you’re right, Therese, I really do. But if she stays in that hospital, they will destroy her.”

Three hours, a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of wine later, a detailed plan was laid out and ready to go. They each had a list of things to do before Wednesday, but if it worked, they would all be saving the day.


	18. awake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one might get you in the feels...you've been warned.

Therese and Abby were a fury of activity in the days leading up to their break out attempt. During that time each had a lot to get accomplished. Therese took a leave of absence from her job, citing a family emergency, and spent her time working out financials with Harge. Unfortunately, there was no way to do this without bringing him into the loop, but she made sure to lie to him to prevent him from becoming an accomplice if things went wrong. Harge agreed to loan Therese money to pay for Carol’s accounts while she was in the hospital. In truth, the money would be used for them to get out of the state for a while. Therese had already made arrangements through Fred, Carol’s attorney, to keep the rent and bills paid while she was in the hospital. She also had to pack bags for both her and Carol to be gone for an indefinite amount of time. 

Abby had to move her mother into the Brookside home and make arrangements to be unavailable at her own job. She packed a bag for a two-week vacation and made sure her house would be taken care of during her absence.

Lizzie’s job was to get Carol ready. She started having Carol brought to her office each day for their therapy appointments. She wanted to establish a routine of Carol leaving her room so it wouldn't seem like something out of the ordinary. Each day at 1 o'clock, Dr. Green would retrieve her patient and then she and an orderly would wheel her down to her office. The orderly would stand outside her office door while they had their session. Lizzie knew she would have to figure out a way to deal with him on Wednesday. Each day she would show Carol pictures in the hopes of getting a reaction, but nothing seemed to work. On Monday afternoon, after three days of no progress, she called Therese and asked her to come to her office on Tuesday. 

Therese arrived at 1pm as Elizabeth requested. 

“I’m going to go get Carol and bring her down. You need to hide behind my desk until I get back.” Therese agreed and moved to go find a hiding place. Ten minutes later Elizabeth returned with a large man dressed all in white. They rolled a wheelchair bound Carol into the room. 

“I’ll just be outside, Dr.” he said. 

“We’ll be fine, Alfred. Won’t we Carol?" Dr. Green smiled. “See you in 45 minutes, Alfred” she said as she closed and locked the door behind him. “You can come out Therese.”

Therese stood slowly, her heart racing at finally seeing Carol after so many weeks, but the woman in front of her was only a ghost of Carol. Her blonde hair was brushed back and looked flat and dull. She wore a plain hospital nightgown and had on no make-up. Her eyes were lifeless with dark circles under them. Despite her appearance, Therese still saw the beauty underneath it all. She slowly walked over from behind the desk and sat in the chair directly in front of her. “Carol?” Therese said softly and sweetly. There was no reaction.

“How long has she been like this?” Therese looked up at Elizabeth, her eyes welling up with tears. 

“It’s been a couple of weeks. It’s like I told you on Friday, I think she’s trapped, much like she was the night she was admitted. I hoped seeing you might trigger a response…any response, really. I tried showing her pictures, but that did nothing. Therese, we have got to get her responding at least a little by tomorrow or this whole thing could fall apart.”

Therese nodded and dropped to her knees in front of Carol’s chair. She took Carol’s hands in her own and leaned closer. “I’ve missed you so much.” Therese noticed Carol’s ring was not on her finger. “Where is her ring?”

“I’ve got it.” Lizzie went to pull it out of her desk drawer. “I had to go get it out of patient storage over the weekend. I had it ready to bring with us tomorrow.”

Therese took the ring and put in on Carol’s finger. It took a moment, but Elizabeth noticed a change. Carol had looked down at her hands. 

“Keep talking to her. I think she knows you are here!” She said in an excited and yet hushed voice. 

“Carol…please look at me. It’s me…your angel. I’m here…I’m here.” She stroked her hands gently.

A tear rolled down Carol’s cheek and Therese reached up to wipe it away. Carol blinked and turned her head into her touch and Therese started to cry. “Please come back to me, Carol.” she begged, stroking her cheek.

Carol’s gaze shifted again as she looked from her hand to Therese’s face, but it was as if she was looking through her. Her mouth started to twitch like she wanted to speak but was struggling to get her body to cooperate. 

“That’s it, honey. I love you! You can do it! Fight for me! Fight for us!” Therese kept encouraging her. “I know you are in there, my love. Please let me hear your voice.”

Carol was standing at the top of the staircase again. She could hear people talking in the distance. Was that Therese? She walked towards the voice. It was soft, sweet, and encouraging and it made her feel warm, not like the screaming voices behind the door. ‘Therese’, she thought. 

The first sound came out as a croaky moan. Carol was straining and fighting against her own body. In her mind she was screaming Therese’s name, trying to find her in a maze of hallways. She screamed louder, over and over in her head. 

Therese heard the noise and leaned in to place a sweet kiss on Carol’s lips. They felt dry and cold and Carol didn't kiss her back, but she didn’t care. It was Carol’s mouth and she missed it terribly. Carol moved her fingers in response and then her hand shifted slightly. 

Elizabeth wanted to jump up and down with glee! It was working! “Carol! You can do this! Reach out and touch her!”

Carol felt like she was in a battle of wills between her mind and her body. Therese was there, she knew it, she could feel her but she couldn’t see her, it was only the stairs and the long dark hallway. 

Therese brought her face down to Carol’s hands and kissed them. “I’m here…I’m here…you can do this. Just touch me.”

It was excruciating but Carol finally felt her fingers responding to her will. Her eyes grew wide and more tears fell. Therese looked up and saw a spark and quickly started kissing Carol all over her face and mouth. “That’s it, my love. That’s it!” she said in between kisses. “I love you...I love you…”

“love…” Carol croaked out. “you…”

Elizabeth nearly screamed with joy! She ran over to join Therese in front of Carol. “I am so proud of you, Carol!” 

Therese stood but did not let go of Carol’s hands. “What does this mean?”

“It means she’s in there! If she can respond, she CAN beat this!” Elizabeth said with a huge smile. 

Therese knelt back down to Carol’s level. “Talk to me. Let me hear your voice.”

“Therese…” her voice was raspy. Her body, stiff.

Therese took Carol’s face in her hands “Wake up, my love. Look into my eyes.” 

Caro’s eyes were looking around room as the staircase started to fade from her vision. She saw walls she recognized, and…Therese…Therese was here. “Therese…” she said again, this time her eyes sparked recognition. Her hands moved and she reached out. “You’re here.”

Therese was sobbing with joy, “I’m here! I will always be here!” She kissed her again. “I will never leave you!”

There was knock on the door. Elizabeth looked at her watch. Was it time already? 

Therese looked panicked. 

“It’s okay,” Elizabeth tried to calm her. “It’s just time for Carol to go back to her room.” 

“Stay…” Carol whimpered. “Therese…”

“Oh, my love, I will be here tomorrow to take you home. Just one more night, alright?” Therese said and kissed her again. “Look at me, Carol.” 

Carol looked up at her, this time looking into the green eyes she knew so well. 

“I will be here tomorrow. Do you understand?” 

Carol nodded slowly, “tomorrow.” 

Elizabeth looked down. “Therese, I need you to take her ring and keep it until tomorrow. Patients cannot have any jewelry.”

She nodded and reached down to remove the ring. Carol looked distraught and started shaking her head. 

Therese kissed her one last time, “I will put this back on your finger tomorrow and then it will never come off again, I swear.” She promised. 

Elizabeth knelt in front of Carol. “You, ma’am, have some important work to do in the meantime. I need you to keep trying to move and to speak. Can you do that for me?” 

Carol nodded again. “Yes”

“You will not be given any pills tonight, Carol. I want you to try to stay awake. I do not want you to dream tonight. Do you understand?”

“Try…” Carol answered softly.

Elizabeth looked over at Therese. "I need you to go hide again. Wait for at least ten minutes before you leave.

Therese bent down and looked Carol in the eyes. “Until tomorrow my love.” It was impossible to prevent her own tears from spilling and it took all her willpower to let go of Carol as she went to hide behind the desk. 

Elizabeth let Alfred in and they rolled Carol back to her room. Therese waited as Lizzie said and then made her way out of the office. She would not be sleeping tonight either.


	19. escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end for notes

Carol sat in her room, staring at the mint green wall. It was eerily quiet, and the silence made her sleepy, but she knew she had to stay awake. She would bend her legs and then straighten them out again and then lift an arm and set it back down followed by the other. She would say Therese’s name out loud to herself, her voice still raspy. It felt awkward, so she tried to imagine that Therese was in the room with her and that she was talking to her.

“I’m sorry,” she said aloud slowly. Her speech was labored and took effort, but she kept going. “I do not know why this is happening and I can’t imagine what you must think of me now. You must think me hideous after my behavior, after you saw what I did. I just keep seeing the same think over and over and I can’t get it out of my head. I’m so lost, Therese.” She tried to push the melancholy aside, but it was soon overwhelming her. A single tear fell, and Carol lifted an arm to wipe it away. She continued to stare at the wall, speaking her thoughts aloud to keep herself awake. She did not notice the eyes watching her through the window of her door.

“How will Rindy ever forgive me? Or Harge? How will you ever forgive me? I know you said you would never leave…you promised me forever, but can you really keep that promise now? What if I cannot get past this?” She looked down at her hands and traced where her ring should be. “I know I have to be strong, but I feel like something keeps trying to pull me back under. Maybe it would be better for you if I just let it take me.”

She sniffed and tried to straighten up. She moved to stretch her legs and arms again. "I wonder what time it is," she asked as she looked out the window into the darkness. "Is it almost tomorrow? You said I would see you tomorrow. Will you really come, Therese? Would we really get to go home?" 

<><><><><><><><><>

Elizabeth arrived in her office at 8am. She had cleared her calendar for the day so that she would have time to make necessary calls. Regardless of what happened, Elizabeth was fairly certain she would be fired after today and she needed to make sure her other patients were taken care of. 

She had been on the phone for a couple of hours when a knock on the door startled her. “Come in.”

She felt bile rise in her throat at the sight of Dr. Allen. Hatred was not a strong enough word to describe her feelings for him. If she did lose her job, she would miss this hospital, but she would not miss this fool.

“I had a few minutes and wanted to come speak with you. I worked the nightshift and did a walkthrough of the ward last night. Your patient, the lesbian woman, she was sitting up.”

“That’s great!” Elizabeth said with a smile. “I told you she was making progress.”

“Hmmm…is that what you call progress?” He strolled around her office. She felt like he was trying to mark his territory as he skulked around, touching various objects in the room. 

“I don’t understand what you mean.” she said, tilting her head in confusion. 

“She moved from catatonia to hallucinations?” 

“Carol isn’t hallucinating.” She said simply, shaking her head.

“She was staring at the wall and talking to an imaginary person. What do you call that?” Dr. Allen gave her a disapproving look.

“Practice.” Elizbeth said as she took off her glasses.

“I’m sorry?” He said with disbelief.

“I told her to practice.” Elizabeth closed the folder on her desk and set her glasses on top of them. She was running out of patience with this man.

“To practice what exactly.” He walked over towards her desk so that he was looking down at her.

This did not go unnoticed by Elizabeth, who stood to return to an equal physical position. “Carol was catatonic for over two weeks. She needs to move and to speak as much as possible right now. I told her to practice.”

“Dr. Green, as much as I appreciate your medical opinion,” he paused, “In my professional opinion, she wasn’t just practicing. She was talking TO someone. I would argue that she is regressing, and I believe I should take over her case to get her the help she so desperately needs.”

“Absolutely not!” slammed her hand on the desk. 

“Your continued emotional outbursts only further my belief that you are too emotionally involved with this patient.”

“My emotional….” Elizabeth ran a hand through her hair and took a deep breath as the rage now flowed through her. She placed both hands on her desk and leaned forward. “Get out of my office right now or I swear to God,” she said with a low growl. 

“Are you threatening me, doctor?”

“Yes! I am!” She yelled.

Dr. Allen smirked at her. “You’re fired.” 

“What?” Elizabeth glared at him in shock and anger. She had expected to get fired after rescuing Carol, not before. 

“You are overly emotional, disrespectful, insubordinate, and I find you highly unprofessional, Dr. Green. Please clear out your office by the end of the day.”

“And what about my patients?” 

“I will take over your cases, including that hysterical woman you claim to have helped. I’ll be scheduling her first ECT session for later this afternoon.” The smug look on his face made her feel almost homicidal.

Without another word, Dr. Allen turned and walked out of Elizabeth’s office. She picked up the phone and called Abby, “Our time is up. Get Therese and come now.”

<><><><><><><><>

Lizzie new she would have to move quickly before word spread of her termination. After hanging up the phone she immediately walked to the ward. She held her head high and kept a fake smile on her face as she grabbed a wheelchair and walked into Carol’s room. Once inside, she let her guard down and her anxiety broke through. "Did you do what I asked last night, Carol?” Her voice was trembling.

Carol nodded in confusion as she watched the doctor scurry around the room. “I did. I am very tired, but I stayed awake. Is something wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong.” She lied. “Abby and Therese are on the way. You are leaving the hospital today, so I’m just going to wheel you downstairs to meet them. There may be,” Elizabeth paused trying to think of the best way to phrase this without worrying Carol. “There may be people who try to stop us so, I need you to just do whatever I say.”

“Ohhhh-kay,” Carol said slowly. While she was uncertain of what was about to happen, she couldn’t help but smile at the thought of seeing Therese and Abby, until she looked down and felt a sudden rush of insecurity. Carol was suddenly aware of how horrible she looked, but she kept her concerns to herself as Elizabeth helped her into the wheelchair. 

As they walked out of the room, Alfred the orderly walked over to join them. “Did you change her appointment time, doctor?” He moved to take the chair handles, but Dr. Green did not move to let go. 

“No, no…we are just going for a spin around the hospital. I think Carol needs a change of scenery.”

Carol kept her eyes facing front and tried not to react. Had Dr. Green not just told her she was leaving, not just going on a stroll? 

“This is highly unusual, Dr. Green,” Alfred said. “This patient has been violent, and I don’t think it’s safe for you to be alone with her.”

“Violent?” Carol looked up at them both with a mix of confusion and offense. Before she could say anything else, Dr. Green was answering on her behalf. 

“She isn’t violent, Alfred,” Elizabeth placed a reassuring hand on Carol’s shoulder. “She has violent nightmares, and she lashes out during them. But Carol is awake and aware right now, as you can clearly see, so, we are going to just go for a quick walk, and we’ll be back in a few minutes. Please step aside.”

Alfred stepped back and let her go. He waited for the two women to enter the elevator before calling Dr. Allen. 

"You said I was leaving." Carol said puzzled. 

"You are," Elizabeth said as her heart pounded loudly. She felt like it was going to jump right out of her chest as she thought of how they would only have one chance to do this. Carol could feel the tension and her own anxiety level was rising. The door opened to the lobby and Elizabeth started walking quickly through the hospital lobby to the front hospital doors. Carol looked up to see Abby’s car pull up just outside the hospital and she watched curiously as Abby jumped out of the car and opened the passenger door. 

“Dr. Green! Stop right there!” A loud voice boomed through the lobby. Dr. Allen had run down the stairwell and was running towards them. Thankfully he was a few hundred feet behind them as Elizabeth started running for the exit.

Carol grabbed the handrails tightly, as her wheelchair was rushing forward.

“Carol, I need you to run, go!” Elizabeth screamed at her.

‘Run?’ Carol thought. ‘I haven’t even walked in over a week!’ She leaned forward and practically fell out of the wheelchair. 

“I said stop!” Dr. Allen screamed getting closer. “Stop them!” He was out of shape, thank God, but had two large men with him.

Carol looked over her shoulder and saw two orderly’s running towards her with a straight jacket in hand. 

“Fuck!” she screamed. Every muscle in her body ached as her adrenaline kicked in and she rose to her feet unsteadily. 

Elizabeth wrapped her arms around Carol and helped to lift her. “Abby!” She screamed and Abby came running in the front door as Therese moved from the back seat into the driver’s seat. Abby met Lizzie and Carol and between the two of them, they were able to lift Carol and get her out the front lobby door. Carol was terrified and confused as they practically threw her in the back of the car. Abby joined her in the back seat as Lizzie climbed in the front and closed and locked the door.

“Drive!” Abby screamed, as Therese slammed her foot on the accelerator and the car screeched out of the drive just as Dr. Allen and his minions made it to the door. 

“Alfred,” he wheezed. “Go call the police and let them know a patient has been kidnapped from the hospital,” he bent over out of breath. 

“Yes doctor,” he said as he ran back inside the hospital. 

The car sped down the road, swerving in and out of traffic. No one spoke for a few minutes as everyone caught their breath. Carol looked around car absolutely baffled as to what was happening. Finally, she found her voice again, “Is someone going to tell me what the hell is going on?”

Therese kept her hands on the wheel to keep from shaking but soon broke out into nervous laughter. Abby and Lizzie soon followed suit.

“Well, my friend, we just saved your ass!” Abby said still laughing.

“Saved me from what?” Carol still didn’t understand. “Who were those men and why were they chasing us?” She looked at Elizabeth, her brows furrowed.

The laughter slowly stopped, and everyone took a deep breath. “That man was my boss, well former boss, and to put it simply, he was trying to experiment on your brain.”

Abby looked at Lizzie, “There is no way for you to go back is there?” She had the sudden realization that Lizzie had sacrificed her career to save Carol.

“Abby, I just stole a patient. Even if he hadn’t already fired me, it’s all but guaranteed now.”

Abby didn’t reply. She reached forward from the backseat and placed a hand on Therese’s shoulder. “Slow down some. We don’t want to draw attention to ourselves." 

Therese did as she asked but stayed vigilant as she drove. Occasionally she would glance into the rearview mirror to look at Carol.

Abby swooped Carol into a big hug, “It is so good to see you!” 

Carol muddled a “you too,” as she looked over Abby’s shoulder and watched her apartment building go past. “Where are we going?”

“Out of town,” Therese said, still staring straight ahead, knuckles white as she gripped the steering wheel. 

Abby looked up at Elizabeth again. “Looks like you’re coming with us.”

“Looks that way.” She said, “besides, I can’t leave my patient.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I thought writing a love scene was hard, action scenes are harder! 
> 
> So what happens next? Can you say road trip?


	20. West?

Once they were safely out of the city, Abby took over driving. They stopped for gas and food in Philadelphia and Carol was able to change into some clothes in a gas station bathroom. Exhaustion finally took over somewhere around Pittsburg, so they found a hotel. The plan was to rest, regroup, and then come up with a plan of where to go from there. 

Abby checked them into the hotel, ordering three rooms. While she desperately wanted to share with Lizzie so they could talk, she did not want to presume that Lizzie wanted the same.

Elizabeth needed to go shopping for some essentials as she had not planned on going with them on a road trip. In their original plan, her role was only to sneak Carol out of the hospital, not get chased through the lobby. Now that she was here, she would need some basic toiletries and some clothes. The hotel clerk gave her directions to a department store, so she took the car and left them at the hotel. Abby offered to go with her, but Elizabeth insisted she assist Therese in getting Carol settled. 

Once inside their room, Therese finally felt a wave of relief wash over her. Carol was safe and they were together. She helped Carol into a warm bath and under the lights of the bathroom, she was finally able to get a good look at the woman she had missed so terribly. Her heart fell as she saw the bruises on her wrists and ankles from being strapped down. She also realized that Carol was significantly thinner, her collar bones more pronounced. Therese helped her wash her hair and then sat vigil as Carol used a washcloth to wash away the hospital smell. Not much had been said between them all day.

“I missed you.” Therese finally said as she helped Carol lay back in the tub. 

Carol didn’t respond and felt strangely self-conscious. She could feel Therese’s eye on her and she moved to try to cover her breasts with her arms. Therese noticed and stood to leave and give her some privacy. “I’m going to go get you some clothes.” But as she stood to leave, Carol grabbed her arm.

“Will you forgive me?” Carol’s voice was shaking.

Therese leaned down and looked directly into Carol’s eyes. “There is nothing to forgive. None of this is your fault, Carol.” She placed a soft, sweet kiss on her lips and then tucked a wet strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "I'll be right back." Therese left the bathroom and came back a few minutes later with clothes. She helped Carol out of the tub and then helped her put on her pajamas and robe. As they walked back into the bedroom, Therese took her hand. “I have something for you.”  
She walked to her purse and pulled out the small silver ring. “I told you I would give it back to you today and that it would never have to come off again.” She went to put in on her hand, but Carol pulled away. 

“You can’t promise that.” She said sadly.

“Promise what?” Therese was confused.

“You can’t promise that I won’t have to take it off. What if I have to go back?” Carol looked scared and unsettled.

Therese shook her head. “No, I’m not going to let you go back to that place. You and I are going to figure this out. We have Abby and now Dr. Green is with us. You do not need the hospital. You just need us.”

She took her hand again and this time Carol let her slide the ring onto her finger. She looked over at the two twin beds, “I’m afraid of hurting you.”

Therese’s heart broke at how weak and unsure Carol sounded. She desperately missed the strong and sure woman that swept her off her feet not so long ago, but she resolved that she would be the strong one for as long as Carol needed. She could be strong for both of them. “We don’t have to sleep in the same bed if you are scared, but I’m not afraid of you, Carol. I would like to sleep next to you and hold you, but I will do whatever you feel you need.” 

Carol sat on the bed but did not relax. 

Abby came back in after getting her own stuff settled into her room next door and agreed to sit with Carol while Therese took a quick shower. Abby watched her best friend fiddle with her hands, clearly nervous and on edge. “Tell me what you need,” Abby said, looking at her with concern.

“I honestly don’t know. I just...I keep getting lost, Abby.” She felt like crying, but no tears would come. She sat back on the bed, looking at Abby.

“Do you remember anything about these flashbacks you keep having?”

“A staircase.” Carol said. 

“A staircase? The one in your house in New Jersey?” Abby was trying to think of something that could have happened there. Had Harge hurt her? She would kill him!

“No. It’s large and majestic…like something in a movie. And voices…I hear voices.” Carol was looking out into some emptiness in front of her.

“Whose voices? Do you know?”

“No, but they are angry.” Carol stood and started pacing the room, feeling uncomfortable again. 

“It’s okay. That’s a start, honey.” Abby could tell Carol was anxious again and she wanted to calm her back down. “Are you hungry? I’ll bet you would love some real food, not just that bland hospital stuff.”

Therese came back into the room, wearing her polka dot pajamas and a robe. “I saw a diner just down the street, Abby. She likes tomato soup and BLT’s.”

Carol smiled at the memories from their first road trip. “Maybe only the soup for now.” Carol said. 

“I’ll take the sandwich.” Therese added, knowing that Carol would normally steal a few bites.

Therese and Carol sat side by side on one of the beds holding hands while they waited for Abby to return. Carol didn’t speak at first and Therese didn’t want to force her, so they just sat in a a comfortable silence, together. 

"I missed you, too." Carol finally said and leaned into Therese's body.

Abby was only gone for about half an hour before she returned with soup, sandwiches, and some pie for dessert. They all sat at the small table in the room and ate quietly. Elizabeth eventually returned as well and Abby held up a bag that had a sandwich for her. “I got you your favorite.”

“Thank you,” she said as she sat on the bed and started to eat. “So, where do we go from here?”

“West?” Therese suggested and gave Carol a small smile. Carol smiled back and felt herself finally really relaxing. 

“Carol, I need to ask you some questions and I think it would be better if we did it alone.” Elizabeth said with a serious expression, and the tension returned to Carol’s body.

“No.” Carol shook her head and grabbed Therese’s hand. “They stay.”

“Are you sure?” Abby questioned her. “I don’t mind going to my room and giving you your privacy.”

“I need all of you here.” She said simply and looked at her with a pleading look.

“If that is what you want,” Lizzie agreed. “Carol, if I am going to help you, I need you to tell me about your dreams.”

Carol didn’t say anything, but Therese felt the pressure of Carol gripping her hand like a vice. 

“Don’t be scared.” She looked over at her love. “I love you and nothing you say or do is ever going to change that.”

Abby stepped in to help get Carol started. “Do you mind if I tell her what you told me earlier?” she asked.

Carol shook her head. “Please.”

“She described standing at the top of a long, formal staircase and voices that are arguing in the background.”

“I see. Can you hear what they are arguing about?” Lizzie asked. 

Carol spoke for herself this time. “No, they are behind a door…and then someone comes out and chases me to the stairs and then I feel like I’m falling, and someone is screaming.” Carol added squeezing her eyes shut.

“Where is this staircase? Is it in your house?”

“I don’t know.” Carol lied.

Elizabeth noted the clench in her jaw. “I think you do.”

“I don’t.” Carol clenched harder.

“Carol, look at me.” Elizabeth demanded.

She felt like a petulant child, but she did as she was told. 

“You are surrounded by people who love you and support you. We will not let anyone hurt you.”

“I. Don’t. Know.” she said more harshly, grinding her teeth.

“Alright.” Lizzie backed off. “I think that’s enough for now.” She stood and straightened her skirt. “I’m going to head to my room. Abby, do you mind walking me?”

Abby stood and felt butterflies swarming in her stomach. They were finally going to be alone and maybe she could somehow fix the mess she had made of their relationship. But as they walked to their respective rooms, Lizzie only asked her about Carol’s childhood.

“I didn’t think we were really allowed to talk about this stuff.” Abby replied, feeling more than a little disappointed. 

“Abby, clearly the rules have been tossed out the window. I helped to kidnap a patient. I will probably lose my license and I doubt I will ever be allowed to practice again.” Elizabeth said sternly.

“I still can’t believe you did that for her.” Abby spoke softly in response, trying to break through Lizzie’s walls.

Lizzie on the other hand was feeling impatient. “Can you please just tell me what I need to know to help her. She would never talk about her mother or father or her childhood.” 

Abby sighed as they stopped outside of Lizzie’s hotel room door. “I know she was born in Tacoma, Washington. Her father died when she was six or seven, I can’t remember exactly. Her mother remarried and moved to New Jersey. She was a cold woman Lizzie, but honestly, I can’t imagine she ever physically hurt her. I think I would have noticed, don’t you?”

“Not necessarily. People can be really good at hiding their pain, both physical and emotional.” She looked down at her feet and thought of how painful it was to be this close to Abby. She wanted to reach out, to forgive and forget, but another side of her was still so angry and hurt. “This staircase she remembers, was it in her childhood home in New Jersey?”

“No” Abby pictured the inside of Carol’s house as kids. “I remember there was a staircase, but nothing like what she described.”

“What about the house she had with Harge?” Elizabeth asked, already getting a picture of where they were going to need to go.

“Nothing there either.”

“When soldiers returned home from war with shell shock, which is the closest thing I can related this too, the traditional cures were electroshock therapy and maybe a specific drug regimen to keep them sedated. I never found those therapies to be particularly useful, but aside from them there is no specific protocol to deal with this, but I have a theory.”

“I’m listening.” Abby leaned against the wall next to the door leading into Lizzie’s room.

“Freud talked about the unconscious and how we lock things we cannot deal with there. He called it repression, and this is essentially what Carol has done. Whatever happened in her childhood had to be so traumatic that she locked it away for almost 30 years and up until recently, this has worked for her. The death of her mother has this repressed memory knocking at the door of her active memory, though. She does remember it, at least part of it, but she doesn’t want to. So, her mind is at war with itself. The memory is trying to break through and her brain is vigorously trying to protect her by pushing it back down.” Elizabeth explained.

Abby shuffled her feet on the ground and thought about everything Lizzie had just explained. “So, do we help her remember? Or help her forget?”

“If we want the old Carol back, we help her forget and move on. But chances are this will all come back up later. I don’t believe we can ever truly outrun our past. It always comes back to haunt us if we don’t deal with it. If we want to truly help her and ensure this never happens again, I think we need to help her remember.”

“You think?” Abby said with considerable concern in her voice. “You aren’t sure?”

“Psychiatry isn’t an exact science, Abby. We are talking about the human mind and it is incredibly complicated. Jesus, my peers are convinced that running electricity through her brain is the answer!”

Abby moved away from the wall and started pacing. “So, what happens if we MAKE her remember?”

“One of two things…she’ll deal with her past get stronger or we could make her worse.” Elizabeth was honest.

“Worse? There is a worse?” Abby lit a cigarette feeling incredibly anxious. "I can't imagine much worse than this." She said motioning towards Carol's hotel room.

“She could go back into a catatonic state and not wake up.”

Abby just stared at her incredulously. “How the hell do you expect me to…I can’t make this decision without talking to Therese.” 

“Carol needs to make this decision, Abby. If she isn’t willing to try to remember, our attempts to force her would just lead to more trauma and another breakdown. But I don’t think I can convince her to remember. It will have to be you and Therese.” 

Abby took a long drag of her cigarette. “Just so I’m clear…help her forget and we get the old Carol back, but she could relapse. She locks this shit back in her brain and we pray she doesn’t get triggered again. If we help her remember, she could get better, but we could also break her?" She paused and then threw the remnants of her cigarette as far as she could. "This fucking sucks, Lizzie.” Abby shouted.

"I know."

"If we want to help her remember, I’m guessing we need to go to Tacoma?” Abby asked.

“If that is where this happened, and I think it is, then yes.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to them tomorrow. For now, let’s give them both time to rest.”

Elizabeth agreed went to open her hotel room door.

“Lizzie?” Abby said in a low voice as she came up behind her.

“Yes?” She felt her stomach drop and the hair on the back of her neck stood up at Abby’s nearness.

“Thank you…for helping her.” Abby said sincerely.

Elizabeth turned quickly and gave Abby a cold look. “Do not thank me. I am her doctor, she’s my patient.” Lizzie replied, sounding very professional.

“You know I didn’t mean to…”

“To what?” Lizzie interrupted.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you…I didn’t mean to--“

Elizabeth cut in again, “Choose Carol over our relationship?”

“Lizzie, she has been my best friend since we were children. She was hurting…I had to do whatever I could to save her. I’ve always been there to save her. There wasn’t a choice.” Abby tried to justify her actions.

“I understand wanting to help your friend, Abby, I do. That wasn’t the problem. The problem is you discounted my concerns and feelings and just cast me aside because you love her more than me.”

Abby shook her head, “No, not more, Lizzie…just longer.”

“Well, thank you for explaining.” Lizzie replied. “If you’ll excuse me, it has been a very long and emotional day and I’m really tired.”

“I love you, Elizabeth. I will always love you.” Abby confessed as she tried to reach out for her, but Lizzie jerked away.

“Good-night, Abby.” Lizzie turned her back and walked into her room, closing and locking the door.


	21. revelations

No one got much sleep the first night in Pittsburgh. Abby stayed up planning their route to Tacoma; Elizabeth paced her room contemplating how her entire life had blown up; Carol kept waking herself up so she wouldn’t dream, and Therese stayed awake to watch her from the other bed. 

Abby did most of the driving, but Therese and Lizzie would change out with her occasionally, so she could nap. Abby and Therese had spoken the next morning and decided not to tell Carol where they were heading for now. They both felt that Carol needed time to adjust and settle before they added any additional stress. The car ride was incredibly awkward for Abby and Lizzie when Carol and Therese would nap. Abby would play the radio softly, but any attempts at conversation were strained at best.

Therese recommended the McKinley Motel in Canton, Ohio for their second night. She even requested the presidential suite for herself and Carol. Carol walked into the familiar room and her eyes lit up. “It’s almost like we’re on our trip all over again.” She mused, feeling more at ease. 

“I have some happy memories of this room.” Therese set their bags down and looked around. 

“Tell me.” 

“I remember playing “Easy Living” over and over for you on my record player and I remember you doing my make-up.” She paused and laughed to herself. “I realize now how you were trying to get closer to me, like when you leaned in so I could smell your perfume. Bold move, Mrs. Aird.”

Carol nudged her with her hip. “Alas, my attempts at flirting were to no avail that night.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that. I was dying to touch you and to dance with you, in fact--” she stopped not wanting to embarrass herself.

“What?” Carol sat on one of the twin beds, looking at her with a grin.

“That night while you slept, I crept over to your bed.” She walked over the Carol and stood in front of her. Bringing her hand up to Carol’s face, she used a finger to gently stroke her cheek. “I just watched you sleeping and then I touched you like this.”

“You did?” Carol said surprised and feeling turned on at Therese’s touch.

“I stayed up all night watching you sleep.” Therese confessed, looking deep into Carol’s blue-grey eyes.

“Therese Belivet, you little stalker, you.” Carol grinned sheepishly and for the first time since leaving the hospital, they both felt more like their normal selves. Carol pulled her down for a long, languid, kiss. 

“Will you sleep with me tonight, Therese?”

“Yes, I will.”

“Will you promise to wake me up if I start to dream?”

Therese nodded, “of course.”

“Hey, you two,” Abby stuck her head in the door. “I’m going to go grab us dinner. Any requests?”

“There isn’t much around here Abby,” Carol remembered. “I think there was a drive-in… maybe a few minutes down the road.”

“So, burgers all around then?” she offered.

“And fries!” Therese said excitedly.

“Be back, soon.” She said and left them alone.

“What do you think happened between Abby and Elizabeth?” Therese asked.

Carol stood and started pulling her night clothes from her suitcase. “I imagine it had something to do with me and this mess I got us all into.”

“Stop. You didn’t do this. It just happened.” Therese picked her own suitcase up and took out her pajamas. “Do you think they’ll find a way back to one another?”

“We did.” Carol looked over at her with a sweet smile. “If they are meant to be together, I’m sure they will, too.”

Therese let Carol take her bath first and sat on the bed remembering the last time they had stayed in that room. She imagined what would have happened that night if she would have been brave enough to act on her feelings. What if she would have leaned into Carol’s neck and kissed her? What if they would have danced to that song? What if they would have made love that night? Her ruminations were disturbed by Lizzie’s knock on the door.

Therese answered but Lizzie did not come inside. “Did Abby tell you the plan?”

“She did.” Therese whispered and looked over that bathroom door. It was still closed.

“Have you two spoken with Carol yet?”

“No. But we will.”

“I know you don’t want to push her Therese, but we also don’t want this to come as a shock. We need to ease her into the idea and let her deal with it.”

“I understand.” She whispered again, not realizing that Carol could hear everything from the other side of the bathroom door.

Lizzie excused herself back to her room as they waited for Abby to return with dinner. Suddenly aware that everyone was keeping things from her, Carol felt resentful and angry. She waltzed out of the bathroom, much like her normal self. Therese couldn’t help but smile at this.

“Was that Elizabeth?” Carol asked nonchalantly as she put her dirty clothes in her suitcase.

“It was.”

“What did she need?”

Therese didn’t answer at first. She did not want to lie to Carol, but she also didn’t want to do this until Abby was here. “She was just checking in, making sure we didn’t need anything.”

“Hmmmm…” ‘She lied to me’, Carol thought. ‘They are all lying to me.’ She felt a wave of anger move through her and worked to pushed it down.

Abby returned with dinner and the four of them sat round the presidential suite eating their burgers. Abby even brought Carol a chocolate shake, her favorite, hoping to put some meat back on her bones. They each tried to make small talk, but the tension in the room was palpable.

“Where are we going tomorrow?” Carol finally asked.

“I think we will head to Chicago.” Abby replied. “What was the name of that hotel you two stayed in? It was really nice.”

“I don’t want to stay there,” Therese said sharply. 

Carol was jarred by her response but she tried not to react. Guilt flowed through her, until she remembered that Therese had just lied to her. 

“I’m sure there is something closer to the highway, anyway.” Therese added.

The awkward silence filled the room again as they finished dinner and threw out their wrappers.

Lizzie stood to leave. “I think I’m going to go settle in for the night. Good night, ladies.” 

Abby didn’t move to join her. “Good night. Let’s get on the road early, say 7ish?” 

“Fine.” Lizzie said, closing the door behind her. Abby let out a long sigh and sat back in her chair. "Jesus," she whispered. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Therese offered. 

"No, it isn't important right now." She looked over at Carol and then looked back at Therese. It was time to introduce Carol to the idea of going to Washington. 

Carol picked up on their telepathic expressions. “Jesus Christ, I know you two are hiding something from me.” She said with catty tone. “Everyone is lying to me about this trip.” She stood up and started to walk around the room to look busy.

“We wanted to wait until you were a little stronger before we explained everything,” Therese explained.

“I’m fine.” Carol said bitterly.

“Clearly,” Abby countered sarcastically.

Carol turned on her with a sudden viciousness, “Oh, I’m sorry. Has my mental breakdown gotten in the way of your love life? Why don’t you just run along and deal with your girlfriend while I deal with the liar that is mine!” 

“Stop it you nitwit. No one is lying to you!” Abby shook her head, trying to keep hold of her emotions. She reminded herself that Carol was fragile, and she needed to control her temper.

“Then someone tell me what is going on!” Carol's anger was rising to the surface.

Abby and Therese exchanged another look. 

“There you go again with the secret looks. Just fucking tell me!” She screamed, weeks of frustration rising to the surface.

“Fine,” Abby stood up and put her hand on her hips. “Where would you like me to start, Carol? Let’s see…my best friend was locked in the psych ward after loosing her shit. I don’t know if you were homicidal or suicidal with the gun in your hand that night, you’ll have to fill that little detail in for us!”

Therese stood up and tried to calm everyone down. “Abby…maybe we should just…”

“No!” She turned and glared at Therese. “She wants to know, and I’m tired of tiptoeing around because CLEARLY that hasn’t worked so far.”

She turned back to Carol, “We broke you out of the hospital before they could stab icepicks into your brain or fry it like an egg! Elizabeth sacrificed her career to save you and I sacrificed my relationship with her so that she could still be your doctor! And now, we are driving across the fucking country so we can all help you face whatever the fuck happened in your childhood!” Abby screamed as all the stress and pain came pouring out of her. 

Carol stood in shock. “We…you…” She couldn’t get the words out. She looked at Therese for help, but Therese was looking at her as if she were about to break into a million pieces.

“We’re going to Tacoma?” She sat on the bed trying to deal with the emotional outburst that Abby just hit her with.

“Yes, we are!” Abby threw her hands up in the air. She finally took a deep breath and did her best to calm herself back down. “You can face it or you can choose to not, but we are going. The rest is up to you, Carol.”

Carol sat on the bed staring straight ahead, looking despondent.

“You pushed her too far, Abby!” Therese ran over to support Carol.

“No…” Carol answered, waving her away. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” she said worried. 

“Yes.” She wasn’t going to fall apart and she wasn’t going to cry. 

“Well, I’m glad that’s all settled. Now if you will excuse me, I need a drink and a cigarette.” She turned to leave, slamming the door behind her.

Therese waited a few minutes before approaching her. “Carol?”

“I’m fine, Therese. Stop babying me.” She stood up and went to brush her teeth. When she returned she immediately got into bed. 

Therese went to the bathroom to finish getting ready and when she returned she just stood unsure if Carol would still want her in the same bed after all of that. 

“Well, are you coming to bed or not?” Carol asked her.

Therese turned off the light and then slid in behind her.

They laid there for about 10 minutes before Carol finally spoke again. “You don’t want to stay at the Drake because that is where I left you.”

“Yes.” Therese said softly.

“We had some happy memories there, too you know. The restaurant, that night…before I left…making love.” she trailed off.

“We did, but I think I will always remember the painful one the most.”

“So, you are avoiding it.” Carol stated. In her mind, Therese was doing the same thing she was by not wanting to go to Tacoma.

“I guess I am.”

“But you are forcing me to go to Washington?” Carol rolled over and peered through the darkness, looking for a reflection in Therese’s eyes. 

“It isn’t the same, Carol, and you know that. Whatever happened in Tacoma has wrecked all of our lives. It is hurting our relationship; It has hurt your relationship with Rindy. You NEED to face this…for all of us.”

Carol rolled back over, her back to Therese. “What if I can’t?”

“All I ask is that you try. I will be there with you, Abby will be there, and you will have Dr. Green.” She wrapped her arms tightly around Carol’s waist. “You aren’t going to be a helpless child this time. You are going in as a warrior with an army.”

“An army…” Carol murmured, sounding worn out.

“Try to get some sleep. I will hold you all night.” Therese kissed her behind her ear.

“You promise to…”

“Wake you if you start to dream…I promise. I love you.” She whispered.

“I love you too, angel.”


	22. deal with it

It started with a twitch and Therese’s eyes flew open in alarm. She laid there for a few minutes, waiting to see if the nightmare would actually start, or if Carol was just having muscle contractions. She heard a smallest sound and shifted closer to listen. It was soft and almost inaudible, but Therese heard Carol whine something. She said her name softly, trying to coax her gently from her sleep. 

“Noooo…daddy…” Carol moaned. It was the first time Carol had ever talked in her sleep. Therese froze for a moment. She knew she had promised to wake Carol up if she had a nightmare, but she wondered if she could get some valuable information from her sleep talking.

“No!” Carol shouted, like a command and Therese sat up and looked over at the beautiful blonde sleeping beside her. Her face looked tormented.

“Who are you talking to, Carol?” she asked in a whisper. “Tell me who you see?” She moved a blonde curl out of her face. 

“Daddy, Stop!” she screamed again as her arm flailed, hitting Therese square in the face.

“Ow!” Therese grabbed her nose. “Carol.” She said louder. “Wake up, honey.” She carefully moved closer and gave her a small shake, not wanting to jolt her too badly or get hit again. 

Carol sat up and screamed a long “Noooo!” almost toppling Therese off the bed. 

She balanced herself and came back over to comfort her. “Shhhhh…It’s okay. You’re okay…” Therese was rubbing her back in small circles. “I’m here, it’s okay. It was just a dream.”

Carol looked around the room and then looked at Therese. “Another dream?” she said sleepily.

Therese rolled over and turned on the lamp on the nightstand to help wake Carol up further. She turned back around, and Carol gasped. 

“What?” Therese said. 

“You’re bleeding!” Carol jumped up.

Therese got up and followed her to the bathroom. She looked at her face in the mirror. Her nose was bleeding and there was a dark red mark forming across the bridge of her nose. 

“Did I hurt you?” Carol was standing behind her in the bathroom looking remorseful. 

“No…no…” Therese shook her head. “You were dreaming and your arm jerked…it’s fine. It doesn’t even hurt,” she lied. In truth, now that she was looking at the mark darkening on her face, she started to feel it pulsating. She even wondered if her nose was broken but she would never say that to Carol.

Carol started crying. “I’m so sorry, Therese.” She sat down on the toilet seat. “I’m so, so, sorry.” She sounded so weary.

“Stop saying that.” Therese said persistently. “You cannot control what is happening to you in your dream or how your body is reacting.” She grabbed a washcloth and put it under cold water. “Do you remember anything? About your dream?”

“No,” Carol said and shook her head. 

“You started talking this time.”

“What did I say?” Carol looked up concerned.

“You were telling your father no. I think you should talk to Elizabeth, tell her that.”

Carol closed her eyes tight. “The voice in my dream--I think…it was my father’s voice.”

Therese wiped away the blood and let the cold washcloth settle over her nose. She sat down on the side of the tub next to Carol, “What did he do to you?”

“I honestly don’t know, dearest.” She took the washcloth from Therese and ran it under the cold water again. She brought it back to the face she loved so dearly and held it gingerly to her nose. 

“Carol…I don’t know how to ask you this…” Therese said gently.

“Just ask me.”

“Do you think he molested you?” 

Carol shook her head, “I don’t think so. I feel like I would be even more messed up than I currently am.”

Therese brought her hand up and cupped Carol’s cheek. “I can’t stand the thought of anyone hurting you.”

“And I can’t stand the thought that I am hurting you.” Carol pulled the washcloth away from her face and winced when she saw the red mark getting darker. “We may need some ice.”

<><><><><><><><>

The bruise was very apparent by the next afternoon. Elizabeth had examined her nose and determined it was not broken, but there would definitely be some discoloration and possibly a black eye. As they drove across the flat landscape, Carol kept her face turned looking at the vast countryside passing by the car window. She was especially quiet, and everyone knew she was still feeling guilty over striking Therese. Every now and then, Therese would reach out and hold her hand for a while, running her fingers gently across her knuckles, reassuring her.

They stopped for dinner at a diner of the highway. When they got back in the car, Elizabeth switched to the backseat to sit next to Carol. She was aware that Therese and Abby would be able to hear everything they said, but she still spoke softly. “Tell me what you are feeling.”

“Afraid. Guilty,” Carol said as she looked forward towards Therese.

“Can you tell me what you are afraid of?” Lizzie pressed on.

Carol thought for a few minutes before answering. “What if I can’t handle what happened? What if I never remember and I stay…broken for the rest of my life?” She felt her eyes well with tears. “What if keep hurting the people I love?” She looked up at Therese.

“You’re already making great strides Carol, just by agreeing to go on this trip.” Lizzie said trying to comfort her. 

“Ha!” Carol threw her head back and laughed. “Agreeing? Abby yelled at me and basically told me we WERE going. I hardly think it was a choice.” Carol was laughing but there was venom in her accusation.

Abby shot her a look in the rearview mirror. 

“You yelled at her?” Lizzie looked up at Abby incredulously. 

“She was being a selfish ass, so yes I did.” Abby sought to justify her behavior. 

“You yelled…at a mental patient?” Lizzie just could not believe what she was hearing. “I told you to be gentle, to ease her into the idea of going to Washington.” She pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Is that what I am? A mental patient?” Carol looked at her, not sure if she should feel offended or it was an accurate portrayal. 

“No, I just mean, you are recently out of the hospital, after suffering a breakdown. Maybe we should try to be a bit kinder and gentler in our handling of the situation!” She said hurling the accusation at Abby. 

Therese watched the back-and-forth banter, eyes wide with wonder. So this is what happened, she thought. 

“It worked didn’t it? She’s here? She’s going?”

“You could have set her recovery back, Abby.”

Abby swerved the car over and turn to look at everyone in the car and then turned to Elizabeth. “I have known this woman for 25 years so I KNOW how strong she is and exactly what she can and cannot handle. We tried to do things your way and she got worse! Hell, she didn’t even speak for weeks.”

“My way? You mean the ethically responsible way? The psychologically sound way?” 

“Responsible?” Abby shouted. “I told you she needed Therese and I told you that she needed me, but you kept jabbering on about your fucking rules. Yes, she is flailing right now, but the more you baby her, the worse it’s going to be.”

“I am in the car you know.” Carol said with a sigh, rolling her eyes, uncomfortable with the argument.

Abby turned and looked deep into Carol’s eyes. “You draw your strength from those around you and you are stronger when you are with Therese. When you are with her, and me,” she paused, “and Elizabeth… I am certain you can handle anything, and it is time to put your big girl panties on and confront these demons.”

Carol didn’t say anything, she just nodded in affirmation.

“Does she seem to be falling apart right now?” She turned back to Lizzie. “No? Alright then! Let's go!”

Elizabeth felt herself raging, but she knew this was not the place or time. “How long until we arrive in Bismark?”

“Four hours.” Therese offered sweetly trying to break the tension. It was a long, quiet, four-hour drive. 

<><><><><><><><><>

Elizabeth had barely set her suitcase down on the floor of her room before Abby came storming in. “You’ve got some nerve speaking to me like that!”

“I’ve got nerve?!?!” Lizzie was flabbergasted. 

“Yes! Do not presume to tell me how to deal with Carol.”

“Do not presume to tell me how to handle MY patient! You know, the same patient you demanded I help. Only now, my methods aren’t good enough for you! Apparently, you don’t think I’m a good enough doctor, so what the hell am I doing here, Abby?” She threw her hands in the air.

“I didn’t say that!” 

“Yes, you did. If I am such a horrible doctor and my methods are so bad, why did you toss me aside for her?”

“I did not toss you aside. YOU made me choose!” Abby yelled.

“I didn’t! I told you I could find someone else to help her, you wouldn’t listen!” Lizzie screamed her reply.

“She doesn’t need someone else. She needs you!” They were both screaming now.

“Then why are you questioning my methods?” Elizabeth growing increasingly frustrated at the circle they were in.

“Because you are questioning mine! I know Carol, Lizzie. She needs to be challenged and to be pushed.” 

“Under normal circumstances, yes. But we aren’t talking about going on a date, Abby. We are talking about confronting something dark and dangerous in her mind! You may know her heart, but I know her mind.”

“You’re right, I do know her heart! And Carol is ruled by her heart! And how, exactly, have your methods help her so far? It isn’t a coincidence that Therese was the one that woke her up. You and your god-damned rules, Lizzie. Did you ever stop to think that the reason she got worse in the hospital is because of your rules? Because she couldn’t be with the people she loves? She was alone in that hospital and scared! She thought we abandoned her!” 

“That isn’t fair. I spoke with her about you two every day.”

“Jesus Christ! Are you so lost in your psychological brain that you’ve forgotten about the power of your heart? Do you even know what love is, Lizzie?”

“Yes! It’s the thing that keeps hurting me!”

Abby stood back, shocked. She lowered her voice. “I never wanted to hurt you, Lizzie. I LOVE YOU, but I swear to God, sometimes you get so lost in your rules that you forget about the people that are being affected by them. I shouldn’t have had to make a choice between my lover and my best friend, but you forced me into that.”

Lizzie shook her head, tears in her eyes. “I didn’t force you.”

“Then tell me what you would have done? If I gave you a choice like that, between me and something else you love.”

“You did and I chose you! I chose you over my career. I chose you when I protected her. If she would have been any other patient, Abby, I wouldn’t have done this.”

Abby stood for a long moment not speaking and then suddenly she lunged forward shoving Lizzie against the wall, kissing her roughly. She held her there with her body as she kissed her passionately and with abandon. Lizzie resisted her at first, but then caved into the heat building in her body. She gripped at Abby’s jacket and pulled her closer, kissing her harder and more fiercely. 

Abby’s body continued to hold her against the wall while her hands started to roam over Lizzie’s body. She reached under her shirt and ran her hands roughly over her breasts, squeezing. God, she had missed the feel of her skin under her hands.

Lizzie moaned in pleasure but pushed Abby away. Her pupils were blown with lust and need as she shoved Abby back towards the bed. 

Abby tossed her jacket to the floor and then lifted her shirt over her head as she stepped backwards, never breaking Lizzie’s gaze. When her knees hit the mattress, Lizzie pulled off her own shirt and then lunged in for another forceful kiss, landing on top of Abby as they fell onto the bed. Their kisses were hard, deep, messy, and brazen. Abby reached behind Lizzie and snapped the clasp of her bra, freeing her full and soft breast. She took them into her mouth, one at a time, biting at her nipples. 

Lizzie growled and moved to unbuckle Abby’s belt and unfasten her slacks. She shoved her hand down her pants, instantly feeling the wet heat. “God…” She said huskily. Abby grabbed her wrist and forced her to touch her most sensitive spot. She was desperate and needy for Lizzie’s touch. Abby used her own hands to pull off her pants and undies, while Lizzie kept up her movements. 

Once free of all clothing, Abby spread her legs wide as if offering herself to Lizzie. Lizzie could smell her want and need radiating up from Abby’s center and her mouth started watering. She quickly lowered herself and began to devour Abby with her mouth. She licked and sucked, taking no prisoners. She felt overcome with a need to hurt Abby…she wanted to make her scream. She took two fingers and plunged them in deeply. Abby moaned in pleasure. Lizzie added a third finger and started moving in and out quickly and roughly. She wanted to fuck Abby until she yelled her name.

Abby was lost in a sea of sensation. Lizzie’s fingers inside, her mouth sucking her clit. She grunted and moaned, “yes…god…yes…harder…deeper.”

Lizzie felt like she would combust from the heat building inside of her. With every sound, every beg, her own desire grew. She was pretty sure she would orgasm at the same time Abby did, and she wasn’t even being touched. Abby’s knuckles turned white and she grabbed the sheets. “Fuuuuuuuck!” She screamed and tossed her head back. She rode the ripples and waves coursing through her body. 

Lizzie slowed her hand but did not pull her fingers out at first. She just laid there, breathless, head on Abby’s stomach. She had never lost control like that before; her passion and emotion had totally taken over the mind and she felt hazy. She removed her fingers and rolled on to her back, still breathing heavy. “I’m sorry…” she said as she regained her senses. 

Abby turned to look at her with an odd expression on her face. “Sorry? For giving me the best damn orgasm of my life?”

Lizzie could help but smile. 

“Abby rolled over and ran a finger across her face. “I love you Elizabeth Green and I am the one who should be sorry.” Abby paused, reflecting on what she needed to say. “ I…I need you to understand that I love my friends and I would do anything for them. I would die for Carol and Therese…and you. I love Carol, Lizzie, I do, but I am IN LOVE with you.” She kissed Lizzie softly. “I need you,” she added with another kiss. “And I want you.”

Lizzie nodded her head. “I love you, too.” She felt a tear roll down her cheek. 

Abby wiped it away. “You are wearing entirely too many clothes for this moment. I think we need to change that.”

Lizzie sat up and started to take off her skirt and stockings. “You know we still have a lot to work out, Abby. We still need to…”

Abby surged up and pulled her into another passionate kiss. “I know…but tonight, I need you to get out of your head and just let me show you my heart.”


	23. Harge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to sincerely thank everyone who has commented on this story. You have no idea how the positive feedback helps to keep me inspired! 
> 
> I also want to take a minute to recognize two authors- Indoorbutch and Pentimento- I've been reading your stories lately and you are both amazing! You are inspiring!
> 
> This chapter is a short one, but you will get a second one shortly!

March 18th, 1954 (The day after the great escape)  
New York City

Harge sat at his desk reading over a set of development plans his business partner had left for him. This deal was a waste of money and resources and he knew they would decline and he could not believe his partner would even consider it. He made a mental note to call him later and remind him that they were in the business to make money, not give it away. His office phone rang.

“Hargess Aird, hello.”

“I’m sorry to bother you, Mr. Aird, but there are some police officers here to see you.” His secretary mumbled into the phone worriedly.

Harge sat up, feeling a chill run through his body. “Show them in, Agnes.”

His office door opened, and the older woman stepped through escorting two men dressed in cheaply made suits. Harge stood and walked around his desk to greet them, his Brooks Brothers suit making him feel immediately senior to the blue-collar men in his office.

“Mr. Aird, I am detective Smith, and this is my partner, detective Adams.”

“Detectives,” he said shaking their hands. “How can I help you?” He leaned against his large desk and crossed his arms across his chest. 

“We are sorry to bother you, sir, but we need to talk to you about your wife.” Detective Adams explained, pulling a notepad from his jacket pocket.

Harge's bubble of superiority popped. “Ex-wife.” He corrected them. “We divorced last year.”

“Yes,” Det. Adams nodded, “ex-wife, then. We just need to know if you’ve heard from her recently?”

“Heard from her?” Harge said confused. “Carol is currently a patient at Mt. Sinai hospital.” He did not want to offer any specific details on her condition as it was more than slightly embarrassing. 

“The hospital didn’t call you?” Det. Smith asked. 

“No, why would they? I am not her emergency contact anymore. What the hell is going on?” Harge felt his blood pressure rising.

“Your wife was taken from the hospital against her will.” Det. Adams explain. “Two women and her doctor were in cahoots and they kidnapped her and have disappeared. A--" he looked down at his notepad, "Dr. Allen contacted the police department, claiming she was a danger to herself.”

Harge walked back around his desk and sat down. Out of nowhere he started laughing loudly and uncontrollably. 

“Sir?” the detectives looked and each other puzzled and then turned back to look at him confused.

“You are telling me that those crazy broads broke her out of the psych ward?” He started laughing again, unable to handle the hilarity of the situation.

“Yes, sir. Perhaps you don’t understand--” They said and looked at each other again, not seeing the humor of the situation. 

“Oh, I understand,” he kept laughing.

“Sir, we just need to know if you have heard from your wife...ex-wife…or could maybe tell us anything about the women with her? We know one is Dr. Elizabeth Green, and the other was described as a skinny, young brunette and an older woman with auburn hair.”

Harge finally stopped laughing and gathered his wits. He turned to look at the detectives, who were clearly concerned about his reaction. He had quickly come to the realization that Therese had played him and that he had, in fact, financed their little getaway. Not wanting to implicate himself in any way, he opted to remain quiet about what little he did know. “I’m sorry gentlemen, but I haven’t heard anything.” 

Detective Smith handed Harge a business card. “Will you please let us know if you do, sir.”

Harge agreed. “Officers, I can tell you that Carol would never hurt the women she is with. I seriously doubt she is in anyway dangerous.”

“Can you at least tell us the name of the women involved in the abduction?”

Harge thought for a moment and decided it could not hurt him to just give their names. “Based on your descriptions, I would say she is with Therese Belivet and Abigail Gerhard.”

“And these women are?”

“Her best friend and her…well…the other lives with her.”

The officers exchanged a knowing expression. “We understand, sir. Thank you for your time.” 

As the men left his office, Harge picked up the phone. “Agnes, get me Tommy Tucker on the phone.”


	24. Tucker

After North Dakota, the women fell into a comfortable routine in the travels. Abby would still do the majority of the driving; Lizzie would sit up front with her and Carol and Therese would sit in the back seat. Abby and Lizzie had stopped fighting, having reached some sort of a truce and Therese noticed that Abby was only taking two rooms now whenever they checked into hotels. 

Elizabeth would try to get Carol to talk about everything during the drive, but Carol had become more withdrawn and moodier as the days went on. She refused to share a bed with Therese, afraid of hurting her anymore. She would barely sleep, afraid to dream. Fear had become a center point of her life and she hated it. 

Therese could not get her to understand that the physical pain of her black eye was nothing compared to the emotional pain of not being able to sleep with Carol. Her own feelings were turning dark as the journey west continued. She could not stand to feel so far from the woman she loved, even though she was sitting right next to her.

Therese felt the only pleasant part of the trip so far was driving through the mountains of Montana. She could only describe them as majestic and pulled out her camera few times, asking them to stop so she could take some photos. It was freezing, so she would not last outside for long, but she was astounded by the beauty.

Carol would smile internally every time she watched Therese with her camera. Her head may be a mess, but her heart was always clear. She loved Therese, more than anything in the world, and watching her with her camera was like watching a painter with a brush. She could not wait to see the photos once they were developed, to see how her beloved captured the world.

They stopped in Billings, Montana for the night and Abby declared that they would all be going out to dinner for a change, not hiding in the motel. They had driven past a steak house in town and Abby now had a craving. Besides, if she had to eat one more diner sandwich or hamburger, she was gong to be joining Carol in an asylum she declared! When Therese questioned if it would be safe, Abby assured her that they were so far from New York now that no one could find them.

It felt normal. That is what Therese first thought when they all sat down in the booth at the very western styled steak house. Even though there were steer heads on the walls and ropes and wooden wheels used as the restaurant’s décor, just being out felt normal. They each ordered their meals and drinks. Elizabeth recommended that Carol avoid anything alcoholic since it tended to add to her depression; It did not go over well. Therese ignored the light bickering at the table as they continued to discuss what Carol should or should not drink. She just looked around amazed, having never seen an establishment like this before…and then she saw something all too familiar.

Therese stiffened and sat straight up. Carol instantly felt the change in the woman next to her and gave her a sideways glance. “Therese, what’s wrong?”

Now all the women were looking at her concerned because Therese had gone white as a ghost. 

“I thought I saw—" She looked around again. “I know I saw him.” She was scanning the restaurant frantically. 

“Who?” Abby asked, and started to look around. 

Therese looked at Carol, her eyes wide. “I know it was him, Carol. I recognize the glasses.”

“Tucker?” Carol asked and furrowed her brows.

Therese nodded. “I swear I just saw him.” She kept scanning the restaurant.

Carol started looking around as well and then she zeroed in on him. His back was to them now, but she was certain it was him, alone at a table by the bar. 

“Who the hell is Tucker?” Abby asked not understanding what was happening.

“Tommy Tucker is the private detective that Harge hired to follow us last year.” Therese explained.

Carol’s jaw locked and if looks could kill Tommy Tucker would have died on the spot. She stood up, but Therese grabbed her hand. “Carol, no. We can just slip out; we’ll get our meals to go.”

“No”, she growled, her voice deep. “I am sick and tired of Harge trying to use my life against me. First, he used you to take Rindy from me, and now he wants to use this? I will not stand for it!”

Elizabeth watched her, a feeling a pride rising in her gut. “Let her go, Therese.” She suggested.

Therese let go of her hand and Carol started to saunter over towards Tommy, who still had his back turned.

Therese turned to Lizzie suddenly. “Why? Why let her go over there?”

“I’m not sure if you noticed, Therese, but that is the closest we’ve seen to the real Carol since February. She’s angry and she’s determined and she’s feeling strong. We can jump in if need be, but I think we need to let her regain a sense of control over her life.”

Carol stood right behind him and as if feeling her presence, Tommy straightened up in his chair. “Hello Mrs. Aird. Nice to see you again.”

“You have exactly 60 seconds to tell me what you are doing here. Why are you following us again?” Carol demanded in a hushed tone. 

“It isn’t what you think, ma’am.” Tommy turned his head to look at her.

“Did Harge hire you? To what? Record my fucking breakdown to use against me?”

“No ma’am.” He motioned for her to sit across from him at the table.

Carol walked around and sat in the seat. The grey in her eyes was like steel. “I’m sure you heard that I was recently…released…from the psych ward of a hospital, Mr. Tucker.” She picked up a steak knife on the table and started to play with it. “I’m quite unstable at the moment. So please make sure you are truthful with me.”

Therese gasped when Carol picked up the knife and went to run over to the table, but Lizzie stopped her. “No…not yet.” They continued to watch in wonder at the power emanating from Carol. 

“I was hired by Mr. Aird, ma’am. But I was only sent to find you and report your location back to him. I am not recording anything, I promise.”

“And why does Harge need to know my location?”

“All I can tell you is that he said I was find you and to assist you in any way you needed. I was also to help distract the police if they caught up, but rest assured, they are still far from finding you. Still in Chicago, last I checked.”

“He sent you to help?” Carol questioned. “I...I don’t understand.” The shock of this news caused the fire and determination to die out in Carol, quickly replaced by uncertainty again.

“You would have to call him to ask for more details ma’am. I’m just doing what he paid me to do.”

Carol set the knife on table and stood to leave Mr. Tucker to his meal. “Please tell Harge that I appreciate his concern, but we are fine. I am fine. And thank you, Mr. Tucker for the information on the police.”

“I will ma’am. You are three or four days ahead of them by the way.”

“Can I ask, Mr. Tucker? How did you find us so quickly?” She asked before walking away.

He smirked, “I’m good at my job, ma’am.” 

She walked back to the table just as their food arrived and started to eat her meal while the other women just stared at her, their food untouched.

Finally, Abby broke. “Well? What the hell happened you jackass?”

Carol took another bite of her food and a long drink of her martini. “It seems Mr. Tucker is once again on Harge’s payroll.”

“Why?” Therese looked panicked; memories of the last time Tommy Tucker followed them and how it ruined everything rushed through her mind. “Harge already knows about us and things with Rindy have been fine until…” she stopped before finishing her sentence.

Carol set her fork down as she turned to look coldly at Therese. “Until I hurt her. Is that what you were going to say?” She took another sip of her drink and tried to drown rising anger and guilt.

“No…I just meant…”

“I know exactly what you meant, Therese.” The temperature of the restaurant dropped 10 degrees as Carol’s disposition turned to ice. 

Elizabeth tried to jump in and help. “Carol, I really don’t think Therese meant…”

Carol held up her hand to stop Elizabeth. “Dr. Green, perhaps you should spend more time fixing your life and less time focused on mine. I mean, it’s not like I’m paying you anymore.” She said sardonically.

Abby’s eyes flashed with fury before she slammed her fork on the table. “Stop it!”

Carol’s shot her icy glare over at Abby. 

“You can give me any look you want, Carol, I don’t care. I’m tired of you being so fucking selfish!” She was yelling in a whisper. 

“Selfish?” Carol said taken aback.

“Yes!” Abby sighed and tried to regain her composure. “I get it, you are hurting. We all understand that. We understand that whatever has you messed up in your head is exhausting…hell it’s exhausting to all of us! But lashing out at the people who love you and care about you, that is selfish. Therese is bending over backwards trying to take care of you; Elizabeth walked away from her career at that hospital to help you and I almost lost the love of my life trying to save you, yet again. So yeah. Shut up, eat your meal, and tomorrow we are driving straight through to Tacoma, because I am sick of this shit. I want my best friend back and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to make that happen!”

Everyone sat, not moving for the longest time. “Eat!” Abby said through gritted teeth. 

After about 20 minutes of silence, meals quickly finished, Carol finally finished explaining Tommy Tucker’s presence. “Mr. Tucker has been sent to watch over us…another warrior in my army if you will. Apparently, Harge is trying to help me for a change.”

<><><><><><><><><>

Therese did not speak a word the rest of the evening. She felt herself reeling from everything that happened at dinner, but there was no one for her to talk to about it. She couldn’t add to Carol’s stress and it just seemed that everything she did or said was wrong anyway. She remembered the last time she felt helpless like this, sitting on her roof after Harge had filed the injunction against Carol. “I feel useless,” she had said, but Carol dismissed her feelings. 

Carol came out of the bathroom dressed in her pajamas and robe to find Therese sitting on the edge of the bed, still dressed in her winter coat and hat from dinner. “Your turn.”

“I’m going to go for a walk.” Therese stood and walked to the hotel room door. 

“Therese we are in the middle of Montana in March! It’s freezing out there!” Carol said concerned.

“It’s freezing in here, too. What’s the difference?” She turned and walked out the door. It was the first negative thing she had said to Carol since this whole ordeal started. She felt guilty for saying it, and yet she knew she meant every word.


	25. abandoned

Therese walked around a bit outside, but Carol had been right, it was way too cold to stay out there for long. the area around the motel was a dark, frozen landscape, much like her life at the moment, she thought. She couldn't see the mountains and she felt silly just wandering the parking lot of the motel, but she didn’t want to go back into her room, preferring the cold air outside to the ice cold inside. 

“Good evening, Miss Belivet.” 

Therese winced at the sound of the voice coming from behind her. Where once she had thought him sweet and kind, now his mere presence was like nails on a chalkboard. She turned on him sharply. “I have nothing to say to you, Mr. Tucker.” 

“I saw you out here and I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” He said it so plainly, as if not understanding Therese’s hatred of him.

“Why?” She took a step towards him. 

Tommy tilted his head, not fully understanding her question.

“Why are you here? Why are you speaking to me? Why would you ever expect me to show you any ounce of kindness after what you did to us?” The questions and accusations came pouring out of her like water. 

He straightened up and took off his glasses, now fogged up from the cold. “I told you both then, it wasn’t personal. I am a professional and it was my job.”

“Not personal?” Therese questioned him, disbelieving his ignorance. “You recorded our most intimate moments and sent them to Harge! There is nothing MORE personal!” Her head turned slightly, giving him a vicious sideways glance. “Let me ask you something, Mr. Tucker. People refer to us as deviants for loving each other, but what kind of person listens?”

Tommy smirked at her, but did not answer.

“And now? Are you listening and recording us now?” Daggers were shooting out of her eyes. 

“I am not recording you, no. Mr. Aird said I was only to watch…and to help if needed.”

“Well we don’t need your help!” She yelled. “So why don’t you just leave us alone!”

Tommy nodded and started to back away from her when a thought suddenly popped into Therese's mind.

“Wait!” she took another step towards him, “You said you weren’t recording…you didn’t say you weren’t listening.”

A perverse grin grew on his face. “Hasn’t been much to listen too, though, lately, has there? Aside from her nightmares and her constant belittling of you that is. Why do you stay with someone who treats you so badly?”

“Fuck you!” Therese screamed loudly enough that the entire motel could hear.

“Hey you”, she had not heard Abby come up behind her. “I was going to get some ice and saw you standing out here with him. Mr. Tucker, is it?”

Tommy held out a hand to introduce himself, but Abby just left him hanging in the air. “I feel your presence is no longer wanted here, Mr. Tucker. Might I advise that you leave, and not just this motel.”

“Ma’am. I have a job—”

Abby waved him off, “yeah, yeah…Harge hired you to watch us and report back.” She lowered her head and stalked towards the man. He tried to hold his ground, but she looked as if she were about to pounce on him like a lioness and he quickly found himself backed again a wall on the outside of the motel with nowhere to run. Abby’s voice dropped an octave. “Here is your report for Harge tonight, Mr. Tucker. Abby said to back the fuck off or she will cut off your dick and mail it to your employer.” She moved in even closer. “Now, you are going to check out of this establishment and drive east, Mr. Tucker. Any questions?”

“Nnnn…no.” Tommy Tucker was terrified. A man who had been held at gunpoint more than once, felt his bravado crumbling at her feet. This woman did not even have a weapon, and yet the look in her eyes told Tommy that she was crazy enough to follow through on her statement. He took a sidestep to get past the fiery auburn-haired lunatic in front of him and scurried to his room, which was right next to Therese and Carol’s room.

"I expect your car to be pulling out soon, Mr. Tucker!" Abby stood up tall and took a deep sobering breath. “Men are so weak,” she mumbled to herself. She turned back to Therese who was standing there gawking at her. “What are you doing out here in the cold, Therese?”

The adrenaline of the heightened moment started to quell. “I just needed some air,” she said sullenly.

“Well, my tits are freezing off out here! Why don’t you come to our room for a bit and we can talk?”

Therese followed Abby back the room she was sharing with Elizabeth. They barely made it into the room before the dam of Therese’s emotions broke and the tears started. Abby walked her over to the bed and sat her down, a strong supportive arm wrapped around her shoulders. Elizabeth pulled a chair over so she could sit in front of her, the doctor in her taking over. “Take you time, Therese. Just tell me what you are feeling.” 

“I don’t know how much more I can take,” her body was wracked with sobs. “Seeing Tucker, Carol being…” she broke off. Therese wasn’t sure what she was feeling, maybe nothing, maybe everything. She was hurting, angry, sad, and lonely. “She won’t even let me touch her and everything I say or do is just…wrong! I cannot help her and I just feel useless. I miss MY Carol…I miss her so much!” the sobs continued.

“I understand.” Elizabeth placed a hand on her leg to help calm her and Abby squeezed her shoulders.

“She is in there, Therese. We all saw a glimpse of her tonight.” Abby offered.

“And I think that just made this harder.” She started rocking herself, the weight of everything heavy on her shoulders. “I just feel so alone. She’s right there and I’ve never felt so alone.”

“You aren’t alone, Therese. We are here.” Abby was doing her best to support her but looked at Lizzie with a plea for help. 

“It isn’t the same, Abby. It feels like I’ve been abandoned all over again.” The tears continued.

Lizzie’s eyebrow perked up a bit at her use of the word ‘abandoned’. “Abby, darling, could you leave me with Therese for a bit? Maybe go take your shower?”

Abby agreed and stood to gather the items she would need for the shower. Therese’s sobs started to settle as Lizzie waited to hear the shower turn on before looking up at Therese. “The word you used, abandoned…”

Therese already knew where her question was going. “I don’t need to be psychoanalyzed, doctor. I’m not that hard to figure out. My mother left me at an orphanage when I was a child.” Therese’s whole demeanor changed right before Elizabeth’s eyes. She was no longer a weak and emotionally wrecked young girl, but suddenly a tenacious and hardened woman.

Elizabeth found it odd how emotionless Therese was when discussing something that must be so painful. It was the opposite of what she had just witnessed. Her emotions were volatile when discussing Carol, and non-existent when talking about her mother. “Carol told me about you growing up in a school for girls, I just assumed your parents were deceased. I didn’t realize…”

“My father died, and my mother remarried. I guess I was just a reminder of her past or maybe her new husband didn’t like me. I was in the way, so she…removed me.” 

Again, Lizzie could not rationalize how one could be so hot one minute and cold the next. “So, when Carol left you in Chicago. Did it remind you of your mother?”

“She told you about that?” Therese looked up and wiped her nose on her sleeve.

Elizabeth noted how Therese dodged her question. “Yes, she did. She had to work through a lot of guilt, Therese and even though you two were back together, she would still not let go of her regrets. I think she still regrets it today, so I can only imagine seeing how all of this is hurting you now is just adding to the turmoil she is already feeling.”

“I know we have to put her first right now, but…” Therese said softly.

“But there is a part of you that is tired and wondering if it’s worth it.” Elizabeth said the words she could not.

“I can’t...I would never…” Therese was shaking her head vehemently, as if the words spoken had been blasphemous.

“Therese, Carol loves you and I know you love her. The power of your feelings for each other was made very evident in my office that day. But sometimes we need a break for our own sanity. No one would blame you if you left, went back home. Abby and I can help Carol.”

“What? No!” Therese could not believe what Lizzie was saying. Leave Carol? Now? How could Elizabeth even imagine a scenario in which this would happen? 

“I’m just saying…”

“I will NOT leave her. I will NEVER leave her.” Therese said resolutely and stood.

“Even if she continues to hurt you? To push you away?” Lizzie asked and odd twinkle in her eye.

Therese felt her resolve build. “Even if. I know what it feels like to be discarded and I will not do that to Carol when she needs me more than ever.”

“If you’re sure.” Elizabeth sat back in her chair and watched as Therese walked around the room a bit, rebuilding her strength. “You know, I think Abby was right.” 

Therese looked at her, not understanding.

“Carol does seem to respond better when we push. So, stop babying her and stand up for yourself. It can’t always be about what Carol needs, Therese. You have needs, too.”

Therese wiped her face, feeling more centered and stronger after her release and hearing Lizzie’s affirmations that her feels were valid. “Thank you.”

“Any time.” Elizabeth smiled.

Therese left to go back to her room with Carol, feeling more determined. The bathroom door cracked open and Abby stuck her head out. “Is that what they call reverse psychology?” 

“I have no idea what you are talking about and aren’t you supposed to be in the shower?” 

“I was lonely…waiting for you.” Abby gave her a wicked grin.

"Is there any hot water left?" Lizzie started removing her clothes quickly and followed Abby into the bathroom. 

Once under the warm water, Abby leaned in and wrapped her arms around Lizzie pulling her close. “So…I was right, huh?”

Elizabeth smacked her hard on the ass. “You weren’t supposed to be listening!”

“Hey!” she rubbed her butt check and then moved to kiss Elizabeth. “You are amazing Dr. Elizabeth Green.”

“I think that will be put to the test tomorrow.” Elizabeth turned around to face the shower spray and back herself into Abby’s front. Abby leaned her head forward on her shoulder, closing her eyes as the water ran down her face. They both backed up a bit, out of the direct water line. “If I can navigate Carol through her memories and pull her out the other side…then you can sing my praises.”


	26. sexual healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the title says it all

Therese returned to the motel room to find Carol sitting on the edge of the bed crying softly to herself. She took her coat and boots off and went to sit next to her, not speaking.  
“What did Mr. Tucker have to say?” Carol sniffed, trying to regain her composure. “I heard your little outburst.”

“Nothing of importance. And I’m pretty sure Abby has him scared enough to practically run back to New York.”

Carol reached down and took Therese’s hands in her own. “You’re freezing!” she said as she started to rub her hands over Therese’s in an attempt to warm her, but the action was having an unintended effect on Therese.

Therese closed her eyes and tried to repress the spark the older woman was igniting. “Carol,” she whispered as her body started to heat from inside. How could something as simple as Carol rubbing her hands cause such a reaction, she wondered.

Carol turned and looked down at the beautiful brunette sitting beside her. “I know I keep apologizing, Therese, but I just can’t seem to...I keep attacking and pushing you away and I don’t know why...because you are one person I need close to me.” Tears started to spill from her eyes again. Therese reached up to wipe the tears from her face and placed a soft and yet chaste kiss on Carol’s lips. 

Carol’s breath hitched in her chest and she felt something alight inside of her. She and Therese had not made love since the day of her mother’s funeral over a month ago. Carol pulled back and looked into dark green lust filled eyes that were full of yearning. Her breath was shaky as she ran a finger down Therese’s cheek and felt the flames building higher below her stomach. Therese slowly started running her fingers up and down Carol’s arms and shoulders. The icy cold that had been running through Carol’s veins for so long was slowly being replaced by the licks of flames she felt coming from her lover’s finger tips. “Therese…” she sighed. “It’s been a long time.”

“Too long.” Therese whispered in a low, raspy voice. “I need to touch you, Carol. I need you to touch me.” She looked into Carol’s blue-grey eyes and saw a familiar wanton gaze.

“Touch me…” Carol said huskily, “please…”

Therese pulled Carol in for a deep and passionate kiss. Her tongue sought immediate entry into Carol’s mouth as her hands roamed freely over her throat, her neck, up and down her back and then moved to her chest. She ran her fingers down and gently cupped each of Carol’s breasts. She felt the heat rolling through her body like waves. 

Carol groaned at the sensation of Therese’s hands on her body. Her touch was searing and full of desire, and yet everywhere those fingers landed Carol felt miraculously healed. She felt the lava pooling, hot and warm in her center. 

Therese slowly removed Carol’s pajamas while Carol worked to remove Therese’s clothes. Once bare in front of one another, they laid back on the bed, side by side. Therese continued to move her hands up and down Carols’ body in long silky strokes causing Carol to shudder.

“You’re trembling.” Therese whispered in her ear, remembering Waterloo. She trailed soft kisses down Carol’s neck.

Carol wrapped her arms around Therese and pulled her in, needing her body closer. Therese moved her slender thigh in between Carol’s legs and shifted slightly forward. Carol continued to run her own hands up and down Therese’s back and when Therese let out soft whimper, Carol moved her hands with more purpose. 

Therese continued to kiss Carol’s neck and then licked her way down her chest. She placed gentle strokes down the sides of Carol’s breasts with one hand and then used her tongue to stoke the other, twirling a tight nipple into her mouth. 

Carol groaned, the heat now threatening to burn through her body. She pushed against Therese’s thigh, needing more contact. She pulled Therese up to kiss her, intensely and lustfully. Her tongue danced in Therese’s mouth, wanton and needy. Therese traced her hand down Carol’s stomach until she cupped Carol’s sex. Carol moved her hips forward at the contact, needing Therese to bury herself deep within her. 

“Touch me, Carol” Therese said as she pulled back from Carol’s mouth. She rested her forehead against Carol’s as they panted heavily. “Together.”

Carol reached her hand down and ran a finger through Therese’s hot, wet, folds. She spread her own legs, to grant Therese access to her hot, wet, core. Therese rolled on top of Carol, straddling one of her thighs, giving Carol easy access. They stared deeply into each other’s eyes as their hands moved in unison. Fingers swirled around swollen clits and then dove deep into hot pools, always moving together, their eyes never wavering. They each picked up speed and pressure, their breathing getting faster, and the heat between them reaching a fevered intensity. Therese took Carol’s lips into her own but kept her eyes open. 

Carol felt the tension build and knew she was on the edge of orgasm, but held on tightly, not wanting to crest before Therese. She whispered into Therese’s mouth, “come with me, Therese…” Carol felt Therese tighten around her fingers and knew she was close as well. She moved her fingers back up to her clit and circled faster and with more pressure as Therese mirrored her movements.  
Carol closed her eyes tightly as she started to shake and gasped for breath. Therese kept her eyes trained on Carol. “Look at me, Carol. Look at me when you come…”

The words were all Carol needed and she felt herself tumble into exquisite darkness. Her sex clenched and she groaned deeply, and Therese quickly followed her into the abyss. They held on to each other for dear life as their orgasms rocked through their bodies. The ecstasy passing, neither moved their hands, still holding on to each other in the most intimate way. “Therese,” Carol whispered…”my angel…”

“I love you.” Therese said, never shifting her eyes from Carol’s gaze. 

“I love you, too.” Carol pulled her in tightly. “Never let me go.”

“Never…” Therese whispered into her ear.


	27. normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love heals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is short and sweet, but I wanted to give you all just a small bit of happy...

Carol lay in her lover’s arms, feeling warm and content for the first time in weeks. She willed time to stop, for the world to end its rotation, so she could just stay here forever. The sun was slowly creeping into their room as dawn approached. Carol realized they had not slept at all as she traced slow, delicate circles on Therese’s stomach. Their rediscovery of each other had lasted all night and she was sore in all the right places from their love making. They had gone from desperate and ravenous to slow and tender and everything in between. How could she love someone so completely, so absolutely, she wondered? What had she done to deserve to be loved that way in return? What power did the young woman beneath her have that she could take away so much pain with a touch and a kiss? Carol felt renewed and despite being physically exhausted, awake. She was distracted from her thoughts by a small giggle. She shifted and looked up into Therese’s dark green eyes. “What is so funny my naughty girl?” she teased her.

“I just remembered something and…well, I don’t want to make you angry…” she giggled a little more, a slight blush crossing her face.

Carol sat up and swatted Therese. “Tell me.” 

Therese had a wicked look in her eyes, and it drove Carol to the brink of insanity. Could this little minx want to go again? Not that she would ever deny her. If Therese wanted more, she would by god give her more. 

“It’s just last night, outside, Mr. Tucker…”

“Therese Belivet, you are lying in this bed with me, naked, thinking of Mr. Tucker?” Carol feigned offense.

“He said he wasn’t recording, but I’m pretty sure he has been listening.” Therese started laughing now as her face turned bright red.

Carol looked around the room and while at first, she was horrified at the idea of someone listening, she then remembered just how vocal Therese had been last night. Had Therese been putting on a show?

As if reading her mind, Therese sat up and pulled Carol down into another long, languid, kiss. “It wasn’t for him, my love. It was all for you. I am all for you.” Her kiss intensified.

And with those simple words and the feeling of Therese’s tongue on hers, Carol found herself reignited again. “You little exhibitionist! Well, if he wants a show,” Carol said dragging her nails down Therese’s side, “I’ll give him one neither of you will ever forget.”

<><><><>

Abby knew they were being followed but decided not to tell anyone. She saw the same car pull in behind them at every stop and bathroom break. Mr. Tucker was still on their tail, and damned if he wasn’t persistent, she thought, but if he was indeed there to watch over them, what harm could it do. Still, she would be keeping an eye on him as well.

Carol and Therese had slept most of the day, snuggled together in the back seat of the car. Elizabeth would look back every now and then to check on them, but they seemed peaceful. “Carol seems better, peaceful. I guess they were up all night talking, they are absolutely exhausted.”

But Abby recognized the sated look on Carol’s face. “Oh, I don’t think they were just talking. Those are the faces of two women who have been to heaven and back.” 

“You are correct…” Carol sighed from the back and wrapped her arms tightly around Therese who only moaned and snuggled more into Carol.

“You’re awake!” Abby smiled. “Good, I’m hungry!”

They weren’t that far from the Washington state line when they found a small roadside café’. It was late for lunch and early for dinner, but they were all in need of a break from the drive. Therese and Lizzie both made a dash for the lady’s room as Carol and Abby slowly unfolded themselves from the car. Carol stood and stretched her long legs and heard the cracking of her back. “Oh.”

“Someone’s getting old.” Abby laughed as she walked up beside her. 

“May I remind you, my dearest friend, that you will always be older than I am.” Carol winked at her.

“Hey! Not by much!” Abby protested, but smiled broadly. This felt good, normal. For the first time in weeks, her Carol was there, in all her beautiful glory. She didn’t know all of what had happened in that motel room last night, but whatever magic Therese had worked, she was grateful. “How are you feeling?” Abby asked, a serious tone in her voice. 

Carol turned her vibrant blue eyes to her. Just a day ago, those eyes looked cold and lifeless, but now, they were shimmering again. “Better.”

“I’m glad. That girl of yours is indeed a miracle worker.”

Carol smiled serenely. “That she is.” 

They walked toward the door of the café’ and Carol stopped abruptly and turned to look back at Abby. “Thank you. I know that this has not been easy, on any of you. I’ve been an absolute bear to be around.”

Abby tilted her head. “You don’t have to thank me, Carol. I’ve always been there for you; I always will be.” 

No more words were needed between friends. Carol turned back and entered the restaurant to find Therese and Elizabeth had already found a booth in the back. 

It took 13 hours of driving, but they finally pulled into a hotel in Tacoma. Everyone expected Carol to go back to her edgy and emotionally tormented self the closer they got, but she surprised them all. Carol was still feeling tranquil after her night with Therese, stronger and more even keeled. She felt the warmth of Therese’s love around her, like a security blanket. Whenever she would feel the dark and cold try to creep back in to her veins, she would imagine that blanket and pull it around her more closely.

When Abby checked them into their rooms, she made sure that Carol and Therese were in a room on the very end of the building and that she and Elizabeth were next door. There would be no more free shows for Mr. Tucker. Over their late lunch, Carol and Therese had filled Abby and Lizzie in on Mr. Tucker’s confession of listening and a very G-rated version of their evening. 

“So, Dr. Green, is there a name for someone like that?” Abby wondered as she drank her Coke.

“You mean besides a pervert?” Lizzie laughed as she answered. “I’m sure Freud would have a field day with that one and his clear Oedipus complex.”

Therese tilted her head as she played with her French fries, “a what complex?”

“Oedipus, Freud believed that some boys developed sexual fascinations with their mothers," she explained.

They all made gagging noises and Therese made a sad face at her fries, “That's...eww...I think I’ve lost my appetite.”

“Hey don’t blame me! I didn’t write the theory.” Lizzie laughed. 

“Thank God I had the sense to give birth to a daughter!” Carol smiled, and then a look of shock and horror crossed her face. Everyone braced for the return of dark Carol, but she suddenly started laughing uncontrollably. 

Confusion crossed everyone’s face and Therese place a gently hand on Carol’s thigh under the table. “What’s so funny?”

“I think I just figured out why Harge is so enamored with his Mother.” 

Abby nearly sprayed her coke through her nose. “Oh God!” The table burst out in wild laughter and Therese finally felt a peace she had not felt in weeks.


	28. Devoured

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See ending for some notes.
> 
> Forgive my never ending typos and grammar mistakes. As you all know, I am beta-less! LOL!

Tacoma Twilight Motel

Room 101

“I didn’t have any nightmares last night.” Carol spoke into the silence of the room as she rolled over to spoon Therese on the queen-sized bed. 

“Well, you also didn’t sleep last night, so there is that.” Therese replied with a giggle as she laced their fingers together and pulled their hands to her chest.

Carol smiled and nuzzled the neck of the brunette, “So, the secret to me not having bad dreams is to never sleep again. Seems easy enough. I just need you to keep me up and distracted all night, every night. I can think of several ways to do that.”

“As amazing as that sounds, we both do have jobs waiting for us back home.” Therese felt the goosebumps rise on her skin everywhere Carol’s breath touched her neck.

Carol let go over Therese’s hand and started to trace the contours of her breasts lightly with the tips of her fingers. “You know, I am a very wealthy woman. We could both quit out jobs and just live the rest of our lives in bed.”

Therese rolled onto her back and looked up at Carol, her green eyes wide with concern. “You wouldn’t really want to do that, would you?”

“Spend the rest of my life in bed with you? Absolutely!” Carol smirked, her fingers now tracing Therese’s stomach and hip bones. She placed soft, sweet kisses along Therese’s neck.

“No…I mean, will you want to quit your job now?” They had not talked about whether their lives would change due to the inheritance Carol had received. Their lives had been a roller coaster of trauma since the reading of her mother's will. “I mean, I understand if you want to, Carol, but I really do enjoy my job and I wouldn’t want—”

Carol placed a finger over Therese’s lips. “You don’t want to be a kept woman? Is that what you are telling me?” Carol was still flirting, not wanting to live in reality just yet. She looked down at Therese with smoky, blue-grey eyes. 

Therese wasn’t blind to Carol’s seduction and she knew the machinations of her lover all too well. Tomorrow they were going to Carol’s childhood home and together they would help her face whatever demons from her past were tormenting her. But at the moment, Carol was using sex to distract her from her anxiety and terror at doing so. Therese knew she would not deny Carol and she understood her need to hide away in their love for another night. Therese leaned forward and captured her lips in her own.

Carol moaned into Therese’s mouth and wrapped her arms around her waist to pull her closer. They kissed deeply and slowly at first, but their passion was quickly building. Therese pulled back so she could look deep into Carol’s eyes. “Tell me what you need,” she said, breathing heavily.

Carol kissed her more hungrily. “I need you to devour me.”

Room 102

Abby got out of the shower, wrapped in her robe with her hair in a towel on her head. She walked to peek out the motel window. She saw Tucker’s car parked a few spots down. “He’s good, I’ll give him that.”

“Did you say something?” Lizzie came up behind her and wrapped her arms around her. “What are you looking at?”

“Mr. Tucker must have a room a few doors down. He is still following us.” She groaned and backed away, pulling the curtains closed tightly. “Well, at least he won’t get to listen in on what’s happening next door.”

Lizzie giggled and blushed as she heard the sounds coming from the other side of the wall. “Do you think they know how loud they are?”

“I don’t think they care.” Abby laughed and looked down devilishly at Lizzie. “What do you say we give them a run for their money?”

Lizzie pulled away from her with a mock expression of shock on her face. “My, my, Ms. Gerhard, are you turned on by the sounds coming from the other side of that wall? What would dear Dr. Freud say about that?”

“I am only interested in one doctor right now and that gorgeous doctor is in front of me,” she said as she grabbed Lizzie and moved to kiss her but there was a sudden shift in the energy coming from Lizzie. “What’s wrong?”

“I may not be, not anymore.” Lizzie’s whispered. She looked down as her face turned dark and her eyes started to well with tears.

Abby wrapped her arms around her and led her to sit on the bed. “Don’t say that.”

“Its true though,” Lizzie started to cry. “I don’t know what will happen when we get home, but I just don’t see a way to come out of this with my medical license intact.” She rested her head on Abby’s shoulders as she finally allowed the weight of her actions to hit her. “I just threw it all away.”

“You didn’t throw anything away. You saved her, lizzie and as much as you say you would not have done that for any other patient, I refuse to believe that. You have a huge heart and a brilliant mind and when we get home, we will find a way to fix all of this.”

“You are very optimistic, but I don’t see that happening.” The tears kept falling.

Unsure of exactly what to say to help Elizabeth feel better, Abby tried to use reason, “Well, what would the medical board say about your boss willingly tormenting a patient? He was talking about cutting her brain for God’s sake. I mean his solutions were like something out of a horror movie!”

Lizzie sat up and wiped her face. “Believe it or not, psychiatry has tried some dark and twisted things in the past, all in the name of science. I feel like we’re on to some big changes and I desperately want to be a part of that, but I don’t foresee that now.”

“We won’t let that happen. Carol will be able to testify on your behalf when we get back. You will be able to prove that you did what was right for your patient! That must count for something.” Abby stated defiantly.

“Perhaps…but the bottom line is women in the medical field have to fight tooth and nail to get any respect. This will be all someone like Dr. Allen needs to destroy me.”

Abby shook her head. “I will not let that happen.”

“You have so much faith, Abby. That’s one of the reasons I love you. But I’m more of a realist, I’m afraid. I don’t know what will happen with Carol tomorrow. I hope we can help her and she did seem so much better today, but I’m afraid she’s just avoiding it all by disappearing into Therese.”

“I love you, too, Lizzie and as we’ve already determined, I fight for the people I love. I will not let this destroy you. I won’t!” 

Elizabeth knew there was no point in arguing with her. Abby needed to hold on to her positive notions in order to get through all of this as much as she, herself, needed to hold on to her rational mind. As louder moans came floating through the wall, Lizzie gave a thought to Carol. Maybe she had the right idea about avoiding it all. She turned and gave Abby a deep kiss. “Make love to me, Abby.”

Abby did not need to be told twice.

Room 105

“Yes, sir. I understand.” Tucker spoke into the phone receiver. 

“No, nothing so far…last I checked they were 2 days behind us…I will make sure to do that sir…yes…I’m sure it will be tomorrow. Yes, I have the recorder. Do you have the address?” Tommy Tucker scribbled the address onto a piece of motel stationary. “I will go ahead and set everything up tonight while they sleep. They will never know…”

Tucker hung up the phone and then picked it up again. 

“Mr. Aird, this is Tommy Tucker, I was just checking in sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of things, first, I've spent a lot of time this week reading other stories. I just want to say you are all amazing!
> 
> Second, I just learned how to use Rich Text! I can italicize now!
> 
> And finally, any theories on who the first man on the other end of the phone was? Is Mr. Tucker a double agent? 
> 
> Comments keep me motivated, so please keep them coming!


	29. Learning the truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carol learns the truth about her childhood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings galore! Physical violence, sexual violence alcoholism and a lot of trauma! Strap in people!

“It has to be haunted.” Abby said as they pulled up the long, desolate driveway. After thirty years of neglect, Carol’s childhood home was practically in ruins from the outside. The tall weeds and ivy were overgrown all over the yard and there was a fountain in the middle of the rounded drive that was tarnished and filled with thick green sludge. 

“This was your home?” Therese’s mouth was wide open in complete astonishment. “This place looks like a museum!”

“Yes, well. It was just as cold as one from what I remember.”

Abby stopped the car in front of the massive front doors. “Seriously, there is no way it isn’t haunted. Are you sure we have to go in there?” She looked over at Lizzie, who was also staring at the house in awe.

Pulled out of her daze by Abby’s question, Lizzie looked back at Carol, who was the only one not fascinated by the house. “It is entirely up to you. What are you feeling?”

Carol’s heart was racing, and her palms felt sweaty and gross. Her pupils grew wide as she finally looked up at her childhood home. House seemed like a small word for what could better be described as a manor or an estate. “I’m fine.”

“Then yes, we are going in.” Lizzie said calmly as she opened her car door. 

The four women got out of the car and stood in front of the doors. “Do we knock?” Therese asked weakly.

Abby used the large, tarnished bronze knocker, but there was no answer. “Anyone have a key?” Abby looked at everyone and smiled, trying to use her humor to hide her fear. She turned back around and grabbed the doorknob and turned. Surprisingly, it opened. “I guess when something looks this scary, no one tries to break in.”

They were hit with a waft of stale air as the doors creaked open. The windows were dirty and cracked, but they let enough sunlight in to light the house. Walking into a large foyer, they all looked around in wonder. There were empty places on the walls where art had once hung and little nooks where statues had once been placed and in the middle of it all, a large, wide staircase that led to the second floor, with hallways to the left and right at the top. “Carol, I knew your family was rich, but damn.” Abby broke the silence causing everyone to jump.

Carol’s face was ghostly pale, and her hands were trembling. Therese walked over and took her hand in her own as Lizzie refocused her attention to her patient. “Take some deep breaths, Carol and just let the feelings happen. No one can hurt you and nothing you feel is wrong.”

“I don’t…” Carol turned back towards the front doors as if she wanted to escape and closed her eyes tightly. “I’m not remembering anything.”

“Memory is a very tricky thing, Carol.” Lizzie walked over and placed her hand on Carol’s shoulder. “It’s very sensual.”

“What do you mean?” she asked as she opened her eyes and looked at her doctor. 

“What I mean is it takes place in all of our senses. Our memory of smells, for example, can be very potent and can transport us back to a different place or time. Our memory of touch can trigger emotions and our visual memory can trigger the memory of sounds. They all work together to create the memory of an event. Don’t just use your eyes. Maybe walk around, explore, touch and see if you start to feel anything.”

Carol looked down at Therese who was still holding her hand. “Come with me?” she said, her voice trembling.

“Always.” Therese said simply.

“Just be careful, you two. This place could have some rotten boards, spiders, and God only knows hiding in the dark corners.” Abby suggested. “I think I’ll stay here.” _There is no way this place isn’t haunted._

Carol walked forward to the staircase and ran her hand along the large wood handrail. It was covered in dust and cobwebs, but she didn’t seem to mind. She slowly made her way up the stairs, Therese one step behind. When they got to the top, Carol turned around and looked down into the foyer. She sat down on the dingy carpeted stair and just stared out into some unknown distance. Therese watched her for a moment and then sat next to her. “Are you remembering something?”

“I’m not sure.” _Laughter was heard in the distance. The cobwebs and dust were slowly replaced with an image of a vibrant area. The dark wood of the staircase was covered in a green and red patterned rug, held on with brass fixtures. There were large portraits of her grandparents, who she never met, hanging on the walls along with some colorful tapestries._

“It was different…it was colorful, and I remember—” She stopped and abruptly turned her head, looking over Therese’s shoulder. “My room was there.” She stood up and they walked hand in hand down a long hallway. There were fewer windows here, so it was a bit dark and dreary. Carol stopped in front of the first door on the left side of the hall and opened it. Inside the large open room stood a twin sized canopy bed, a child sized vanity, a tiny round table with 4 chairs and a few toys scattered around, all covered in years of dust and neglect.

“This was your room? It’s larger than our living room!” Therese could not imagine growing up in a place like this. It really did seem like something out of a movie or a fairy tale. She hung her head and stared at her feet, suddenly keenly aware of their class difference. Carol had been born into the upper echelons, while Therese had been raised in an orphanage. _What did she ever see in me._

As if reading her mind, Carol looked over at Therese. “Money isn’t everything, angel. The house may look large, but it was also lonely.”

“Ahem,” Elizabeth cleared her throat so they would know she had walked into the bedroom. “Carol, tell me about your parents.” She spoke softly and slowly walked around the child’s bedroom. “Tell me about your mother; when you were young, what was she like?”

“I don’t really remember.” Carol sat on the edge of her childhood bed.

“Well, who played with you? When you were in this room.” Lizzie walked over to a small child’s table in the corner of the room. There was a tiny porcelain tea set and an old doll sitting on top of it. She picked up and doll and walked towards Carol. Carol took the doll and stared at it, begging it to help her remember something. She looked over at the tea set on the table and suddenly had a flash of a man, dressed in a suit, sitting in one of the tiny chairs. A young girl with blonde curls giggled as she handed him a cup of tea. 

“ _Here daddy,” she said handing him a tiny cup._ _“Thank you, buttercup! This is delicious.” The dapper young man answered._

“He called me buttercup.” Carol spoke in nearly a whisper. “I think my father played with me.”

<><><><><><><><>

Abby was still standing in the foyer alone when she felt a cold chill run down her spine. Suddenly uneasy, she made her way back out to the car and opened her trunk. _I’m being paranoid._ She dug through her suitcase and found the solid handle of her handgun. She had not told any of the others that she had packed it, but it seemed sensible to have some protection since they were four women, traveling alone. She checked to make sure it was loaded and then shoved it into her jacket pocket before making her way back into the house.

Still feeling uneasy, Abby decided she no longer wanted to be alone in the foyer, so she decided to join the other three upstairs. She took a few steps and then paused and looked around. The chill went through her again and she had a feeling that she was being watched. _Fucking haunted, I swear!_

As Abby walked into the open bedroom to join the others, she overhead Carol telling them of tea parties with her father and of bedtime stories, but she could not remember ever playing with her mother. 

“What is your first memory of your mother?” Lizzie asked.

“Not here.” Carol answered, shaking her head. “I remember her getting me ready for my first day of school in our new home in New Jersey. She picked out my dress, my shoes, and I remember asking for a ribbon and her telling me no.”

Lizzie tilted her head, intrigued by Carol’s lack of early memories of her mother. “Maybe we should look in some other rooms, see if there is a spark?”

As Carol and Therese walked out the door, Abby grabbed Lizzie’s elbow. “I don’t think we’re alone here,” she whispered. 

“Really Abby? You really believe in ghosts?” Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

“No…it’s…I’m telling you; we are being watched. Can’t you feel it?”

“I _feel_ like we need to stay with Carol. Something is building in her, _that_ I can feel.” She placed a quick kiss on Abby’s nose. “Come on.”

Carol was wandering down the hall and then stopped suddenly. She turned and then walked back towards the staircase. She crossed the top which led to another long hallway on the other side walked up to another door and froze. 

Therese, Lizzie and Abby watched her carefully, but stayed silent. 

“Hello!” There was a sudden loud shout that rang through the house and all four women nearly jumped out of their skin. "Jesus Christ!" Abby turned and walked back to the top of the stairs. She wrapped her hand around the handle of the gun in her pocket as her heart began to race. “Hello?” She called back. 

She looked down to see a small older woman standing at the bottom of the stairs. 

“Oh hello there! I’m sorry if I scared you, but I saw the car and…” the woman stopped as her eyes grew wide. “Well as I live and breathe…you're Carol Ross!” She stared at the beautiful blonde that was now standing next to Abby at the top of the stairs. 

“Do I know you?” Carol asked her, not feeling any clear recognition.

“I should say so!” The woman laughed. “I only changed your diapers, fed you and took care of you for the first six years of your life.”

Carol looked thoroughly confused. “I’m sorry…who are you?”

“I’m sorry dear, very rude of me. My name is Mrs. Cranston, and I was your nanny when you were a child.”

Carol had no memory of this woman. None. She slowly walked down the stairs to get a closer look as the older woman stared right back not believing the vision before her eyes. “I’m sorry, I don't remember you.” 

The woman looked to be in her late 60’s, with wrinkles that surrounded her eyes and mouth. She wore her grey hair back in a bun and was dressed in a simple black dress that looked like it had once been a part of a maid’s uniform. Over her dress, she wore a white crotched shawl over her shoulders. “Well, you were just a baby, really. But I remember you! Running and playing, up and down those stairs, hiding in the shadows and such. Always trying to scare me,” she laughed. “And look at you now, all grown and beautiful!”

By now the other women had joined Carol at the bottom of the stairs. Abby let go of the gun handle, but she still felt unsettled. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Cranston, is it? I’m Abby and this is Dr. Elizabeth Green and Miss Therese Belivet. We are all friends of Carol’s.”

“Lovely to meet all of you...but can you tell me what you all are doing here?”

“I inherited the house.” Carol answered, not going into further detail. 

Mrs. Cranston gave her a knowing look and nodded her head. “So, Ms. Margaret has passed. May she rest in peace.”

“How did you know we were here?” Abby asked, not entirely convinced this woman was on the up and up. 

“I live in the small cottage house out back. I knew I kept hearing noises, and we never get visitors here, so I came to check it out.”

“You’ve lived here all this time?” Carol said astounded. 

“I have. Your mother asked me to look after the place when you moved. Said I could stay for free if I did and it was easy at first, but as I got older, the upkeep became to much. I’m afraid I’ve really let the old girl go.”

“So, you must know about Carol’s childhood, then? You could tell us about her parents? And about the accident? Elizabeth asked, realizing their luck if this woman could help Carol remember.

Mrs. Cranston’s face turned dark. “We really shouldn’t speak ill of the dead." She paused for a moment before deciding that they should all head to the kitchen. “Follow me. I will make us all some tea.”

“The kitchen still works?” Therese inquired.

“Oh yes, I use it all the time. Thankfully, it is in much better shape than the rest of the house.”

The four women followed the older woman down a short hallway that opened into a large kitchen. There were some older, outdated appliances, a large porcelain sink surrounded by wall-to-wall cabinets that were filled with dishes and glassware. In the middle of the room was a large rectangular table. 

“Sit, sit. I will heat up some water.”

Within minutes she had the gas stove lit and a pot of water boiling. She then worked quickly to gather a white chinaware tea pot and 5 teacups. She placed the tea bags in the pot and poured the water over them, allowing it to steep before finally sitting down to join the others.

“Tell me dear,” she reached over and placed a hand on top of Carol’s, “how old are you now? If memory serves, you should be 36 or 37?”

“About that, yes,” Carol answered, more than slightly uncomfortable at the mention of her age. 

“And you still live out East?”

“New York. Well, New Jersey until recently, and then New York.”

“And are you married? Children of your own?” The older woman kept up her barrage of questions.

Carol shifted uncomfortably and Therese lowered her head to look at the marble floor. “I’m divorced, but yes, I have a daughter.”

Mrs. Cranston patted the back of her hand. “These things happen, dear. Sometimes it’s for the best.” 

“Mrs. Cranston,” Carol paused. “I was wondering if you could help me.” The older woman did not speak, but the rising of her eyebrows insinuated that she was listening. “I’ve been having a hard time since the death of my mother, and I was wondering if you could you tell me some things.”

She pulled her shawl up over her shoulders as if feeling a chill. “About what dear?”

“My childhood? My father? My mother?”

“Well I would think you have plenty of memories of your mother. You left here together after all.”

“I have no memories of her here.” Carol added.

“I see.”

The tea was ready to pour, so Mrs. Cranston carefully poured each of them a cup before sitting back down and looking at Carol pensively. “You were a precocious child, you know, and a bit of a tomboy to be honest. Used to drive your mother crazy, the way you ran through the house! You would always be outside playing in the dirt.” She shook her head as she remembered. “I’m glad to see you grew out of that. You look very refined, Ms. Carol.”

Carol blushed at the compliment. “Thank you. Can you tell me about my father?”

“You were the apple of your father’s eye, truth be told. He absolutely adored you and you two were thick as thieves, playing hide and seek and tea party. It was too bad what happened.”

“What did happen?” Elizabeth inquired as she took a sip of her tea. 

Mrs. Cranston didn’t answer her.

“I understand it may cause you to feel ill at ease, speaking of your former employers and all, but it would really help us to understand and to be able to help Carol further.”

“Help her how? She seems perfectly fine to me.” Mrs. Cranston asked, not understanding the severity of the problem.

“I just got out of the hospital,” Carol’s voice dropped to barely a whisper. “I was in the…” she stopped, unable to continue.

“Mrs. Cranston, My name is Dr. Green, and I am Carol’s psychiatrist.” She leaned in and looked the older woman in the eyes, “You see, the death of Carol’s mother and other recent events, have left Carol in quite a delicate state and we have driven across the country to help her try to remember her life here with the hopes that she can move on, does that make sense?”

She looked at the others at the table. “Are you doctors as well?”

“No, ma’am.” Therese answered first, though she was suddenly unsure of how to explain who she was to Carol. Thankfully, Abby stepped in to save her, “We are her closest friends.”

“You seem rather young, my dear, compared to the others. You are friends with Carol?” She asked looking at the nervous brunette.

Therese looked up at Carol and smiled. She knew her eyes would betray her and anyone would be able to see her love for Carol spoken there. “Yes, ma’am. She is very important to me.” 

Mrs. Cranston just nodded, “I see.”

“Please help me…” Carol looked at her, tears now welling in her eyes. “I cannot go on like this. I am hurting my child, my friends…I just need to know what happened to our life here. What happened to my father?”

“I cannot tell you everything. I wasn’t here the night that it happened.”

“Any information you can provide may help Carol remember.” Elizabeth urged her to continue.

the older woman sat back and sighed. Finally agreeing, she began. “I told you, you were your father’s world. He really did adore you. Unfortunately, he didn’t feel the same about your mother.” Carol looked up at the older woman and pleaded silently for her to continue. “Your father was a brilliant businessman and a loving father, but he was a horrible husband. I blame the liquor, you know. When he was sober, Mr. Victor could be so kind and generous, but after a few drinks he was a horrid, beast of a man. He would beat your mother when he drank and well, I’m quite sure he would force himself upon her when he was in that state as well.”

She paused for a few minutes, wondering how much she should tell Carol, but based on the expressions on everyone’s faces, she knew she had to explain further. “Your parent’s marriage was arranged, you see. I think she wanted to be a good wife, but I don’t think she every really loved him and Victor was very aware of that and I think he believed that he could somehow force her too.”

“By forced, you mean…” Abby asked.

“Yes. There were many mornings when I would have to help clean her up.” Mrs. Cranston looked over at Carol. “I wonder how much more I should say. I cannot see how this would help you my sweet girl.”

Carol’s blue-grey were iced over, and her jaw was clenched. Elizabeth leaned over and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Carol, we can take a break if you need. We don’t have to do this all today.”

She turned and looked at Lizzie, her face cold and dark, her voice low and angry. “No. I was married to Harge for ten years, I understand perfectly well what she is saying.”

“Carol,” Abby tried to intervene. “As bad as things got with Harge, I don’t think he ever…” Her hand suddenly rose to her mouth, “oh God…Carol, did Harge ever force himself on you?”

Therese did not want to hear this. She felt rage boiling in her blood and knew that she would kill him the next time she saw him, but Carol cooled her anger with her next words. “No, not like that…not exactly. He would drink, he would demand, and I would give in. He was never violent about it…it just didn’t matter what I wanted or didn’t want.” She looked over at Therese who had closed her eyes and was ringing her hands in her lap, her face bright red. “Therese, look at me angel.” Therese forced herself to open her eyes and stare into the blue-grey orbs she adored. “He never forced himself on me, okay?”

The air in the room was thick with tension and Mrs. Cranston was not oblivious to the apparent relationship between Carol and Therese. She thought about addressing it, but decided it was none of her business.

Elizabeth sat back in her chair and thought about everything she knew about Carol and her relationship with her mother. She was quickly able to put it all together as she sighed and rubbed her temples. “We need to take a break. Abby, could you walk me to the car? I think I have some aspirin in my purse.” She stood up and walked over to leave the kitchen. Abby quickly got up to join her, “Yeah…coming.”

“You know, I think I could use a walk as well.” Mrs. Cranston said. “I have some fresh cookies over in my cottage, I’m just going to walk down there and get them. Be right back.” She slowly stood and made her way out, leaving Therese and Carol alone in the kitchen. 

“Are you okay?” Therese asked as she leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Carol’s temple. 

“I honestly don’t know. I have no real memories of my father, Therese, just these vague images, but none of them are of the man she is describing. I think I am starting to understand why my mother had such contempt for me.” The ice in Carol’s eyes started to melt as tears started to fall.

<><><><><><><><><><>

“Do you want to tell me what is going on?” Abby asked as they walked to the car. Elizabeth never went for her purse, so the headache was clearly just a move to get them out of the house. 

“I just needed a minute to think. I also needed Carol to take a minute because the news she is getting is…well…overwhelming…and I need to make sure it doesn’t do more harm than good.”

“Do you think Carol was the product of one of these nights? Did her father rape her mother?” Abby asked with trepidation.

“Yes. Yes, I do. You said that Carol’s mother was always cold and distant with Carol. You said she kept her at arm’s length, right?”

Abby nodded, tears coming to her eyes as she too started to put it all together.

“Carol has no real memories of her mother until they get to New Jersey, and Mrs. Cranston was the woman that raised her up until then. It just makes sense. I think Margaret Ross got pregnant after one of these violent encounters with Victor and I think she went into a depression after Carol was born. The death of her husband forced her to have to interact with Carol, but she still resented her.”

“This is…this is too much.” Abby tears were falling freely now. 

“So now imagine Carol having to take all of this in. She is still fragile, Abby. I don’t want to push her too far. We may never get her back.”

<><><><><><><><><>

Therese sat with her arms wrapped around her love. She rocked her gently, whispering sweet words of confront into her ears. _I love you…I love you forever…no matter what…I will always love you._

Carol looked up in the green eyes that loved her unconditionally. “How did you cope with—” she stopped, not wanting to bring up any painful memories for Therese.

“With knowing that my mother didn’t love me enough to keep me?” Therese sat back, never taking her eyes off Carol. 

Carol just nodded in reply.

“It’s okay, I can talk about it with you. Sister Alicia.”

“I remember you telling me about her.”

“She was like a mother to me, or maybe an older sister. She cared for me and over time I think I started to realize that it didn’t matter if my mother didn’t care…other people did. From what Mrs. Cranston said, your father did love you and it seems as if she cared for you a great deal. But most importantly, Abby loves you, Rindy loves you…and I love you more than anything in this world. You are my everything and I will spend my life wrapping you in that love until you know for certain that you are worthy of it.” She pulled Carol into a fierce hug as Carol’s dam of emotions broke. 

They waited for Carol to stop crying before Abby and Elizabeth walked back into the kitchen, soon followed by Mrs. Cranston with a plate of cookies. She pulled a handkerchief out of a pocket in her dress. “Here you are dear. Have a cookie and drink some tea. Did you know you can’t cry and drink at the same time?”

Carol looked up at her then. “I say the same thing to Rindy, my daughter. I never knew where I learned it from.”

Mrs. Cranston looked at her lovingly. “Well, maybe you do remember me, after all.”

Elizabeth walked over to sit next to Carol. “How are you feeling? Strong enough to keep going?”

Carol reached out and took Therese’s hand, not caring about the judgement of anyone else in the room. “I am.”

“Alright dear. If you are sure you want to know, I will tell you.”

Her eyes looked kind, Carol thought. She took some comfort in them and remembered what Therese said about the love of her friends. “I’m sure.”

“After you were born, your mother went into a terrible state. She could not bear to look at you or hold you, so I made sure you were taken care of. Loved you as if you were my own, I did! And when your father was with you, he would dote on you. Spoiled you rotten. As for Margaret, her coldness just angered him further. He would wait for you to go to bed and then the drinking would start.”

“Why didn’t she leave him? Why didn’t you help her leave?” Carol could not understand.

“It was a different time, dearest. Back then we kept to ourselves and as the hired help, I knew my place. I did hope she would leave him, but she just withdrew further and further into herself. And then…” Mrs. Cranston stopped and picked her teacup to rinse it in the sink. “It was such a horrible night; Storming so bad and his drinking was especially bad. I think he had made a risky investment and had taken a huge loss. I could hear the fight from the cottage, so I know you had to have heard it too, dearest.”

Carol’s eyes got wide. She suddenly stood and ran towards the stairs as the others quickly followed. 

“Carol?” Lizzie questioned, but she didn’t answer. She moved to step in front of her, but quickly realized that Carol was now in the midst of another flashback. “Shit!”

“What? What’s wrong?” Abby questioned her? “Carol?”

“She’s having another flashback, Abby.” Elizabeth ran her finger through her hair nervously. “I knew we were pushing too hard.”

Carol started walking up the stairs. “What do we do?” Therese asked as she followed her, fear dripping from her voice.

“I don’t know.” Lizzie was frustrated by her lack of knowledge on flashbacks in trauma cases such as this. “I think we have to let her go through it, to remember it all.”

“The last time she had a flashback like this she wound up in the mental hospital, Lizzie!” Abby followed Carol and Therese up the stairs. 

“I am aware of that, Abby!” She barked back. “But it may be just as dangerous to try to pull her out of it!”

Mrs. Cranston just stood at the bottom of the stairs utterly confused. “I’m sorry, what is happening?”

“You two follow her. Just make sure she doesn’t hurt herself. I’ll be up in just a second.” Elizabeth walked back to Mrs. Cranston. “Ok, so Carol does remember that night, but her memory is locked away and it comes to her in flashbacks, like this one. But instead of a normal memory, it is like she’s there, reliving that night. So I need you to tell me everything you know about what happened, right now!”

<><><><><><><>

Carol walked first to her childhood bedroom and laid down on her bed. Therese and Abby just stood in the doorway watching with wonder but did not try to speak to her. 

“Daddy?” Carol sat up and looked around her room. She rolled out of the bed and started walking towards the door and Therese and Abby parted to let her through. Carol’s eyes were glassed over as if she was in a trance as she meandered back into the hallway and walked to the hallway on the other side of the stairs and stopped in front of the door she froze in front of before. “Daddy?”

She placed her hand on the doorknob and then slowly turned it, gently opening the door. “Daddy, no!” Before they knew what was happening, Carol was running back towards the stairs. “No, daddy! NO!” She got to the top of the stairs and screamed as Elizabeth came up behind her and grabbed her, trying to wrestle her to the ground. “No!!”

Horrified by what was happening, Abby and Therese ran over to help, though they weren’t sure who they should be helping. “What the hell is happening?” Abby screamed!

“Don’t yell!” Lizzie said in a hushed yet harsh tone. “Just help me hold her down!”

Carol fought against them, screaming for dear life. “Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!”


	30. A truth revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See notes at the end

Even with all the commotion at the top of the stairs, Mrs. Cranston was more concerned with the loud clattering noise that suddenly came from a room beneath the stairs. She grabbed her chest, overtaken by all the excitement. Carol was screaming and thrashing about as she was being held down by her friends and now it appeared there was someone else in the house as well. “Was there someone else with you?” she called up to the top of the stairs.

“What?” Abby looked down as she held on to Carol’s flailing arms. “No! It was just us!” She yelled over Carol’s wailing.

Mrs. Cranston decided to investigate the source of the noise on her own as she slowly walked to the left of the stairs. There was a hidden room there that she remembered all too well as Carol used to hide there when she was a child. “Hello?” The older woman suddenly found herself flat on her back as she was pushed aside roughly, “Ohhh!” The mystery man ran for the front door, never looking back.

“Who the fuck was that!” Abby yelled, still wrestling with her best friend. 

When Mrs. Cranston didn’t answer, Abby became worried. Carol was still screaming, but her body was slowly calming down from sheer exhaustion. “I need to go check on her. Can you two hold her?”

Therese shifted so that she was straddling Carol’s waist and then leaned in and laid her body over Carol’s, wrapping her arms around her neck. Lizzie moved to sit above her head, holding her arms to keep her from hitting Therese. “We’ve got her, go.”

Abby ran down the stairs to find Mrs. Cranston in a crumbled state on the floor, “Oh my God! Are you alright?”

“A little winded is all." Abby slowly helped the older woman on to her feet and then walked her into the kitchen and into a chair. She grabbed a glass and filled it with water and handed it to her as she moved to head back to the foyer. “I’ll be right back. I need to check on Carol.” But as she walked back out, Abby realized Carol had calmed down under the weight of Therese, so instead of going back up the stairs, she walked to the secret room underneath it, where the mystery man had been hiding. Inside the small space, Abby found several recording devices, though the tapes were now missing. “That little shit!” 

<><><><><><><><><><><>

Carol was still breathing heavily but was slowly coming down from her distraught state. “Therese…” she rasped.

Therese sat up and looked into Carol’s eye that were no longer glassed over. “Let her go.” She looked at Lizzie, who released her arms. Carol wrapped her arms around Therese and pulled her in tightly as she kept repeating her name over and over as if it was a calming mantra. _Therese…Therese…my angel…_

“Carol, oh my god…are you alright?” Therese held her tightly and stroked her hair as she whispered into her ears. “What happened?” 

She tried to catch her breath to speak, but Carol found it too difficult to get the words out.

“Let’s go downstairs, get you some water.” Lizzie recommended and joined Therese in helping Carol to sit up. Therese kept her arms wrapped around Carol’s waist, understanding that she needed her touch to keep get grounded. Slowly, they got Carol to her feet and stable and ready to move down into the kitchen. Just as they hit the bottom stair, Abby rounded the corner from the room under the stairs. “We’ve got a problem?”

“One thing at a time,” Lizzie suggested. “Let’s just get Carol settled first.” They all moved into the kitchen where Mrs. Cranston still sat at the table. 

“My goodness, dear. Are you alright?” She said looking worriedly over at Carol who's hair was wild and her make-up smeared all over face and she looked down to see her clothes, a disheveled, wrinkled, mess. “You were in quite a state!”

“I’m not sure…” Carol managed to get out. “I think I remember…and—” she broke off, tears starting to roll down her cheeks again. “It’s all my fault, Therese. I…I think I killed my father,” she confessed as she started to sob harder, leaning into her lover's arms. 

Lizzie and Mrs. Cranston both started shaking their heads. “Oh, my dear child, you could never…” Mrs. Cranston leaned over and placed a hand on top of Carol’s. 

“But I remembered it, he was chasing me, and he tried to hit me,” Carol replied. “I pushed him…I pushed him away from me. And then he was falling.”

“Oh, my love,” Therese pulled her closer and placed a kiss on her temple. 

“Carol, can you look at me?” Lizzie pulled a chair around and sat next to Carol. “First, I need you to breath for me. Do you remember the breathing exercises we have been working on the past few days? Deep breath in, count to 4, release fully.” 

As Carol calmed her breathing, Therese kept her body in constant contact knowing the calming effect she seemed to have on her. Meanwhile, Abby was about to jump out of her skin as she stood in the kitchen doorway. She desperately needed to tell them what she saw, but she also knew that Carol needed to calm completely down first.

Once her breathing had returned to normal and the tears had stopped falling, Lizzie looked Carol directly in the eye. “You did not kill your father, Carol. You were just a little girl, not much older than Rindy, and there is no way you could have physically pushed him down the stairs. Do you understand?”

“But I remember pushing him and I remember his falling. I was screaming as he fell.” Carol said, shaking her head in disbelief.

“He did fall, yes, but it wasn’t you.” Lizzie tried to explain, but Carol interrupted.

“How do you know that? You weren’t there!” she yelled.

Lizzie placed her hand on Carol’s cheek to calm her again. “I wasn’t, but Mrs. Cranston was.” All the eyes in the room fell upon the old woman.

“But you said you didn’t see anything that night.” Therese said in confusion.

Abby walked over to the table, temporarily forgetting about Mr. Tucker, and sat down as Mrs. Cranston began to tell her story. 

“I wasn’t completed honest with you, earlier, my dear, and while I didn’t see everything, I did see the fall.” The older woman paused and took a drink of her water leaving the others waiting with bated breath. 

“I heard them fighting all the way down in the cottage and I just knew he was in rare form. I had hoped to come and take you out of the house and down to my place because that was no environment for a child. When I came in, you were all at the top of the stairs.” Mrs. Cranston paused for another moment and closed her eyes as if trying to recall a long lost memory. “Victor was so drunk and angry, and he was stumbling about and just as savage as I'd ever seen him...and then he raised a hand to strike you. He slapped you and you shrieked and tried to get away, pushing against him. Of course, this just made him angrier and he grabbed your arm and raised his fist. You were screaming and pushing and then…your mother.”

“What about my mother?” Carol’s eyes went wide, not fully understanding. 

“Please understand, dear, I was sworn to secrecy. I promised your mother I would never tell what happened. I did it to protect everyone, but especially you.”

“Just tell me!” Carol’s hand slammed on the table, her patience running thin. 

Mrs. Cranston jumped back and waited for a minute before deciding that she had to tell her the truth. “Your mother was trying to protect you, dear. She pulled you away from him and shoved him. He stumbled backwards and fell down the stairs, breaking his neck.”

The room went silent, except for Carol’s gasp as she brought her hand to her mouth. “But I remember…”

Elizabeth interrupted, “Our memories aren’t like tape recorders, Carol. They can get it wrong, especially when we are under a lot of stress. Your memory tried to piece together what it knew and then added in information based on your feelings of guilt. It tried to fill in the blanks, and unfortunately, it got some details wrong.”

The mention of tape recorders brought Abby back to what she needed to tell the group. “Speaking of tape recorders, Mr. Tucker has been listening in all day.”

“What? Why?” Therese asked in a panic, looking around the room as if he was still there.

“I have no idea, but I for one am sick of that little piece of shit. That’s who was hiding under the stairs and he ran out so quickly, he left his equipment…took the tapes though. I’ll be placing a call to Harge directly!” Abby spat angrily.

Lizzie never took her eyes off Carol. “Tell me what you are thinking, what you are feeling, Carol. We can deal with the detective issue later. I need to know that you are alright.”

Carol nodded her head. “I’m not sure…I…am I understanding all of this?” She looked back over at Mrs. Cranston. “You are saying my mother killed my father?”

“Not intentionally, no. It was a horrible accident! And you were so distraught afterwards that when the doctors arrived they had to sedate you. You kept calling out for him and I think your mother…well…it was so hard on her. Like I told you, he was not good to her and I think she was happy he was gone, but then she also felt extremely guilty because you hated her for it.”

“I never…I never hated her.” Carol spoke with a tremble in her voice. “I always thought she hated me.”

“Your mother, god rest her soul, didn’t hate you Carol, but I don’t think she knew how to love you either, considering.”

No one spoke as Carol sat and gazed out into the distance for a long time, her eyes as dark and cloudy as a thunderstorm. Her tears were dry now as she processed everything that had happened and tried to internalize everything she was learning about her parents. Her father, the drunken abusive husband who had loved his daughter and yet hated his wife, and her mother, the emotionally distant woman who had saved her life. “No wonder I’m a fucking mess.”

Abby couldn’t help but let out a small laugh and everyone turned to look at her appalled at first, but soon they were all joining her. Even Carol couldn’t help but laugh, releasing all the stress from the day.

The laughter eventually died down and an awkward silence overtook the room until Carol stood up and straightened her dress and ran her fingers through her hair, a vain attempt to put herself back together. “I will call Harge, Abby.”

“Carol, are you sure? This has been a very emotional day and I’m sure Abby can—” Therese tried to plead with her.

She looked down lovingly at Therese, understanding her concern. “It has been that my love, but yes. I am sure. I think I understand now. I know what happened to me and I have a better understanding of my mother. And while I can’t say that I’m not still a little unstable, the one thing I can handle is my ex-husband.”

<><><><><><><><><><>

After gathering all the items that Tommy Tucker had left behind and promising to get back in touch with Mrs. Cranston before leaving town, the women headed back to their hotel. Carol wanted to shower before calling her ex-husband and Lizzie and Abby went to find them all something to eat. Therese sat on the edge of the bed trying to wrap her mind around everything that had happened that morning. 

“Hey you.” Carol said as she sat next to Therese, wrapped only in a towel, hair still dripping. “Are you alright, Therese?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” a small dimpled smile escaped her and Carol felt a warmth surge through her.Neither said anything for a moment, they just reveled in the quiet and the feeling of being next to each other. 

“Therese,” Carol turned and looked at her young lover, a sudden look of fear in her eyes. “Do you think any less of me, knowing what you now know about my family?”

“How can you ask me that?” Therese moved quickly to wrap her arms around the towel clad woman. “Carol, I find you even more amazing! I love you more! Can’t you understand why?”

“I just...I see this horrible, tragic life that has left me scarred. I would understand if...” Carol stopped, shaking her head, unable to put words to her deepest fear.

Therese nestled her forehead against Carol and looked into her stormy blue-grey eyes. “Let me tell you what I see. I see a beautiful woman who overcame a difficult start. She created an incredible life for her daughter and was so strong, she fought to build a life with me as well. You have this amazing heart,” she placed a hand on Carol’s chest and felt her heart beating quickly under her palm. “You are strong and brave and the most beautiful, sexy and graceful woman I have ever met.”

Carol's eyebrow arched. “Sexy, huh?” she placed a kiss on her lips.

“See how I slipped that in there?” Therese kissed her back, slowly and intensely. “Mmmmmm…” she moaned. “As much as I want to continue with this, you have a call to make.”

“You are bringing up my ex-husband now? I must not be that sexy after all,” she teased.

Therese couldn’t help but smile again. Sitting in front of her was the woman she loved and adored; The woman she had missed so terribly the past few weeks; The strong, determined, and yes, insatiable blonde that was her entire world. Therese sent a quick _thank you_ up to the heavens for returning her. “Tell you what," she placed a gentle kiss on her lips, "you are going to call Harge and I am going to go take a shower. I feel like I’m covered in cobwebs,” she giggled. “When I get out, I will show you exactly how amazing I think you are.”

“Promise?” Carol kissed her again.

Therese reciprocated with another long, wet kiss on Carol’s lips. “I promise.”

<><><><><><><><><>

It took three rings before he finally picked up. “Hargess Aird, Hello.”

“Harge. We need to talk.” Carol’s voice was strong and filled with purpose as she stood resolutely with the receiver in hand.

“Carol! Oh my god! Where are you? How are you? Are you alright?” Harge filled the line with questions and under normal conditions, Carol would think he sounded genuinely concerned about her.

“Oh, cut the bullshit, Harge, you know where I am. Mr. Tucker has been following us since we left New York.”

*silence*

“So, still having me followed? Still having me recorded?” She asked sharply. “Why don’t you just ask me! What do you want to know? And how does knowing about my family help you? Things were going so well for all of us, but clearly you weren’t happy with that!”

“Carol, you’ve got it all wrong!” Harge tried to interrupt.

“What? What do I have wrong? Did you or did you not hire Mr. Tucker to follow us? To record us, again?”

“I hired him to find you, yes. But I never told him to record anything, Carol. I just needed to make sure you were safe, for Rindy's sake. She has been scared to death over all of this and I wasn’t sure what to tell her when they took you from the hospital and I hate lying to her, so I hired Mr. Tucker to find you and to make sure you were safe, that’s all." Harge was rambling, "and you should know the police are looking for you as well, so I also asked him to help throw them off your trail. When I spoke to him last, he assured me that you were safe, and the detectives were still far behind.”

“Harge…I…I don’t know what to say…I just thought…” Carol stammered. She wasn’t sure if she should believe him or not, but she had to admit, it just didn’t seem like Harge would mess up things now. Up until the events of Valentine’s, everyone had been happy, especially their daughter.

“I know I deserve it after what happened last year, Carol, but you were right that day in the lawyer’s office. We need to do what is best for Rindy and she needs her mother…well…mothers; I’ve seen Rindy so happy with you and Miss Belivet.”

Carol was absolutely stunned. “Thank you, Harge.” Once her shock wore off however, a sudden realization came over her. “Harge, if Tommy wasn’t recording us for you then why was he taping everything?”

Harge was quiet for a moment while he deliberated on that point. “I think dear Mr. Tucker may have his fingers in one too many pies.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dying to hear your thoughts! Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement and kudos. Life is getting busy, so it my be a few days before I can get the next chapters posted. Please be patient. I promise I will never leave a fic unfinished!


	31. more revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See notes at the end. 
> 
> Thank you for forgiving my typos and such and for being awesome peeps!

Therese and Carol laid facing each other on the bed, fingers caressing, and legs intertwined. “What are you thinking?” Carol whispered as she stared into the depths of Therese’s green eyes. It had been a long and emotionally exhausting day for everyone, but laying here, Carol felt completely at peace. Regardless of what happened next, she knew that with Therese at her side she would be able to handle it.

“I’m thinking,” Therese paused, sleepy in the afterglow of their love making, “That I love you…that I love how we are when we are together…really together…and how I think I understand you better now.” Therese ran her fingers down Carol’s cheek and jaw and then down her neck and then laid her palm flat on her chest feeling her heartbeat. “I would always watch as your drifted away into some darkness and now I know where that comes from and why you push me away…because that is what your mother did to you.”

Carol pulled Therese into her body. “I never meant to push you away.”

“I know.” Therese wrapped her arms around her blonde lover. 

“I will try to be better. I think I have a better understanding of my mother and why she was…well…the way she was. But I still have so many questions.”

“Such as?” Therese pulled back so that she could look into Carol’s eyes. 

“Why was he so good to me and so horrible to her? Why did she suddenly come to my rescue? If she really did love me,” Carol could feel the tears start to fall down her face. “If she really did love me, why did she treat me so horribly all my life?”

Therese pulled her back in as her hands stroked Carol’s back gently. “I understand those questions. I always wondered why my mother didn’t want me and why wasn’t I good enough?”

“Oh, my angel…we are a pair aren’t we.” Carol melted into Therese and let her eyes feel the heaviness of the day. Therese kept up the gentle movements until she felt Carol’s body completely relax in her arms. 

“Created for each other, I think.” Therese whispered before they both fell peacefully asleep with no more nightmares to wake them.

<><><><><><><><><>

Elizabeth stood staring out the hotel window, letting all the events of the day process in her mind. Carol had faced her trauma and now, having come through the worst of it, seemed to be recovering. Now that her role in their journey was basically over, she started to think about the repercussions everything would all have on her own life.

“Penny for your thoughts.” Abby wrapped her arms around the thin doctor from behind.

“I think it would cost more than that. How much money do you have?” Lizzie joked. 

“So, who does the great Dr. Green talk to when she is troubled? Hmm? Do therapists see other therapists?”

“How do you know I’m troubled?” Elizabeth turned in Abby’s arms, but did not look into her eyes. 

“Do you remember the day you told me about Carol’s tells? The locked jaw and such? Well, you have them as well, my love.”

Lizzie was fascinated now and looked into Abby’s eyes. She was amazed that someone wanted to know her that well and had studied her enough to figure out her secrets. “Do tell, Miss Gerhard.”

Abby brought her hand up and used her fingers to trace the fine lines by Lizzie’s eyes. “You squint when you are thinking.” She then traced Lizzie’s forehead lightly. “And your frown when it’s negative and smile when they are good thoughts.”

Lizzie closed her eyes and swayed under the heat of Abby’s fingers. Her featherlight touches sent electricity through her system. “I love how you can read me…like no other.” She whispered.

“Because I love you like no other.” Abby answered and leaned in to kiss her. They stood by the window, not caring about passers-by as they kissed deeply and passionately. Abby finally released her lips when the need for oxygen caught up with her. She wanted to move this to the bed but remembered that Lizzie had been deep in negative thought a moment ago. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”

Elizabeth felt every movement of her face and realized that Abby had been correct. She squinted her eyes, and she felt her forehead scrunch. “I’m scared, Abby.” She finally looked up into Abby’s dark brown eyes. “I don’t know what happens next.”

“Well, I imagine we head home for starters.” Abby tried to lighten the mood, but it was going to take more than that to pull Lizzie out of her head. 

“I mean once we get home.” Lizzie backed out of Abby’s arms and started roaming around their room, nervous energy overtaking her. “I have worked so hard for so many years to build my life- my career- and now it’s all gone. I don’t have a job and more than likely we’ll be arrested as soon as we get home. Are you not worried about that?”

“We won’t let that happen.” Abby said as she shook her head trying to stay positive. She knew they would all need to sit down and figure out how to return home and how to fix the ginormous mess this all became, but she did not doubt they could do it. 

“Abby, be realistic, I was fired, we broke a patient out of the hospital and fled across the country and we know that the police are looking for us, so we are basically fugitives…how will life ever go back to what it was?”

She thought a minute before answering. “Maybe it won’t.” Abby sat on the edge of the bed, watching Lizzie as she continued to move nervously around the room. “Maybe it will be something better.”

“Always the optimist.” Lizzie smirked and finally collapsed on the bed next to Abby.

“Not always, no.” Abby confessed. “I’ve had my dark days, too. There were days I never thought I’d find happiness again, never find love again…but here you are.”

“After Carol?” Abby only nodded in repIy.

Lizzie sat up and felt another weight land on her. “I guess we do need to finally talk about everything with that. We got very caught up in helping Carol and never really dealt with our issues. They just got swept aside.”

“Lizzie, I don’t want to know what all Carol told you in therapy, but I can imagine she spoke of me and our past relationship. You know we were together for a while and I know you know she broke it off and I admit I struggled with that for a while…and yes, I loved her. I will always love her. We have been friends since childhood and I will always be there for her, especially after finding out all we learned today. But I think I understand now why we were never meant to be, and when I see her with Therese, I am so happy that she found a love like that.”

“But you loved her for so long, Abby. How do you just let that go?”

“The same way you did with your husband. And honestly, Lizzie, I haven’t let it go…it just changes. It changed. That’s all.”

Elizabeth felt a dagger go through her heart at Abby’s confession. She needed to hear it again, to be sure before she ended this for good. “So, you’re saying if Therese wasn’t there…would you still be in love with her?”

The question had come as a shock to Abby who looked like a fish out of water for a second. How was she not explaining this right? How was Lizzie still doubting her love. “I guess it would depend,” she finally said with a small smile playing on her lips.

“On what?” Lizzie waited for the final shoe to drop. 

“In this Therese-less scenario, are you still there?” Abby shifted so she could look Lizzie in the eyes and took her hands in her own. “Elizabeth, what I feel for you is so completely different and maybe I thought I was ‘in love’ with Carol…but now I think I was just desperate to fill the emptiness. It wasn’t enough though…she wasn’t enough. There was always something missing. But you…what I feel for you is so overwhelming and so…complete. You fill my heart and my soul and I don’t want to ever let that go. I will NOT let that go.”

“Do you mean that?” Lizzie spoke with a shaky whisper.

“Yes, I mean every word. I love you more than anything or anyone and I want to spend my life with you…if…if you want that.” Abby looked suddenly nervous, realizing that she basically just proposed to the woman in front of her.

“I love you, too, but you know I can’t answer that right now, Abby, not when the rest of my life is in pieces. It wouldn’t be fair to promise you something like that and then, I don’t know…what if I had to move across the country or something to salvage my career? What if I had to leave the country?”

“I would come with you.” Abby said simply. It just seemed so obvious to her.

Lizzie was shocked at how quickly she had answered. Clearly, she wasn’t thinking rationally. “Abby, you can’t leave your mother. And what about Carol?”

“What about her? Carol has Therese.”

“I would never let you--”Lizzie tried to say, but Abby cut her off.

“It wouldn’t be your decision to make. My mother is taken care of now and I can always visit as needed. Honestly, I’m not even sure how much time she has left, but she wouldn’t want me to throw away my chance at happiness for her. And Carol has Therese. Therese is the one that she needs and the only one that can really save her now. I’m just a sidekick…and yes, if she needed me, obviously I would be there for my friend. I can be there for her over the phone and again, I can visit.”

“What about your career.” Lizzie tried to counter.

“There are bugs everywhere.” The statement caused them both to laugh out loud and the seriousness of their conversation dialed down a level. But Abby wanted to make one thing perfectly clear. “I love you Elizabeth Green and I want to be with you; here, there, or anywhere you are…that is where I belong.”

Lizzie kissed her with all the love and passion she could pour into her lips. She knew at that moment that yes; she would spend her life with Abigail Gerhard.

  
<><><><><><><><>

The following morning, they all met for breakfast in the hotel dining room needing to plan their next moves and figuring out how to repair all the damage done to their lives. 

“So, are we heading back to New York?” Abby started the conversation. 

“Yes, but I need to stop back at the house and settle some things with Mrs. Cranston. She should know that I plan on selling the house and I just want to make sure she’ll have a place to go.”

They all agreed that they would pack up and check out of the hotel and then stop by Carol’s house before beginning their trip back east. They all knew that it was essential to get back as soon as possible. 

“Now that Carol can help with the driving, we should be able to drive farther each day. It took us what, eight days to get here?”

“Six,” they all replied in unison.

“Wow, it really felt like longer. It’s all a blur! But I think we could get back in 5 if we take turns driving and sleeping in the car.”

“Once they see that Carol is not mentally ill, doesn’t that clear up the hospital issue?” Therese asked.

“Carol is going to have to be declared mentally competent by another doctor at the hospital, Dr. Allen, I assume. Then she can say that it was her choice to leave and explain that we didn’t kidnap her and then hopefully the charges will get dropped.”

“Are you saying I need to check myself back in?” Carol looked horrified at the thought of being back in the psych ward. 

“No…no…you should be able to settle it all with just an appointment. Of course, with the police involved, it’s a little more complicated.”

“I will call Fred. I’m sure he’ll be able to give us some advice on how to navigate that situation. I mean, clearly, I was not kidnapped and I’m fine. I imagine it should just be a matter of explaining the situation once we get home.”

Lizzie felt they were all being a little too optimistic on how easily they could work all of this out but decided to keep her concerns to herself. They packed up after breakfast and made a return trip to Carol’s house, planning to leave from there to get at least part of the way to Montana. 

Mrs. Cranston met them all at the house and escorted everyone to the kitchen where she had tea and cookies waiting. Carol noticed how calm she felt now, being in the house. There were no feelings of impending doom or whispers in the dark. It was just a house and she was ready to let it all go, but first she needed to speak with Mrs. Cranston about her intentions to sell the place. Carol felt obligated to the woman that had helped raise her, even if she couldn’t remember it.

Unsure of how to break the news that the old woman was going to have to move, Carol opted for a less obvious route. “Mrs. Cranston, do you have family here in Tacoma?”

“Oh yes, dear. I have a sister. She’s a few years younger than me, and I have my two nephews, I just adore them. Both married now with kids of their own.” She explained.

“You never had children?” Carol asked.

“I never got married and well, you were the closest thing I ever had to a child.” She said patting her on the hand.

“Can I ask, Mrs. Cranston, why have you stayed here? At this house I mean?” Abby was incredibly curious about Mrs. Cranston’s living arrangements. She wondered how she had managed to stay here all this time and why she had chosen to do so. 

“Well, I told you, Margaret asked me to look over the house and I did, well for as long as I could, anyway.”

“But what about work? I mean how have you lived?” Carol wondered.

“Oh, I get by, dear. I would take an odd job here or there and your mother would always send me money for looking after the place. I managed to save most of it as my expenses were minimal.”

Carol knew she needed to just buckle down and get on with the difficult part of the conversation. “Mrs. Cranston, I only ask because now that my mother has passed, I do not intend on keeping this house. Honestly, I’m not even sure why she did. But before I do that, I need to make sure that you are taken care of.”

“She kept the house for you, dear. She told me once in a letter…she knew you would need to return here one day and I think she knew it would be valuable for you one way or another, either to live in or not. You plan on selling it?”

“Yes,” Carol reached out and took the older woman’s hand. “But I don’t want you to be homeless. We can make other arrangements.” 

“Nonsense. My sister has been begging me to come live with her for years. I will be fine; don’t you worry about me. But…well, I would like to discuss one other thing with you. Perhaps you could join me for a walk? Just the two of us?”

Mrs. Cranston got up for the table and reached her hand out to Carol. She looked around at the others as if to say I’ll be okay, and she walked with the older woman out of the kitchen. They went up the stairs and down the hallway to the right until they reached a locked door at the end of the hall. Mrs. Cranston pulled some keys out of a dress pocket and handed them to Carol. Therese are yours now. Go ahead and open it, it’s the long, silver one. Carol unlocked the door to see that it opened to a staircase that led up to a third floor. 

“I don’t remember this.”

“You were never allowed up there as a child. Well, come along.” Mrs. Cranston slowly ascended the staircase that opened into a large open attic space that was absolutely packed with stuff.

Carol’s mouth flew open. “What is all this?” She looked around to find paintings, furniture pieces, sculptures, and trunks upon trunks of clothing and jewelry.

“When you and your mother moved East, she left almost everything behind. This is all family heirlooms from your grandparents on both sides mostly. I imagine some of this stuff may be quite valuable.” 

Carol was speechless. “I cannot believe this.”

“I just kept bringing things up here and storing them away over the years. I was always worried about thieves and such the longer the house stood empty. It was another reason I stayed on the grounds, to keep an eye on the house. If you are going to sell the house, you will want to deal with all of this as well.”

“I don’t even know what to say…of how to process this. I’m going to have to think about all of this, now. Mrs. Cranston, it will take me a while to deal with all of this,” she said waving her hands around the room. “I want you to know you can stay here as long as you need. And I will make sure that you are compensated for taking care of the house for all these years.

“Oh, my dear sweet Carol, seeing you happy is all the compensation I need.” They hugged each other and then slowly made their way back down to the kitchen, locking the door behind them.

Carol immediately grabbed Abby when she walked into the kitchen. “We need to talk!” 

Therese and Lizzie couldn’t hide their confusion or curiosity. “I’ll tell all of you, but I think we need to get started on our drive back. Mrs. Cranston, thank you again for everything. I will be in touch regarding the house and such. And thank you again…for everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we can rule out Mrs. Cranston as a "bad guy"...yes?


	32. transitions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see end for notes

Despite sharing the driving responsibilities, it still took then six days to make the drive back to New York. They had stopped in different cities and motels than on their initial trip, mindful of the fact that the police were still looking for them. They also continued their efforts to limit their appearances out in public, choosing to eat in their rooms as much as possible. Over the course of the drive, Carol filled them in on the attic revelation. Abby was sad she didn’t get to see all of the treasures hidden, but she couldn’t help but feel excited at the mere idea. 

“I know you asked about reopening our furniture store, Abby, and I told you no, but now...with this…we could open several stores!” Carol sounded excited and happy for the first time in a long time. She was definitely closer to returning to her normal self and Abby did not want to do or say anything to disappoint her, but she also knew that she couldn’t make any plans without seeing what happened to Elizabeth upon their return.

“That sounds incredible!” Abby said turning her eyes over to Lizzie as if to say, _please understand I’m just trying not to hurt her._

A year ago, Therese would have been jealous about the thought of Abby and Carol working together again, but now she was secure in her relationship with Carol and felt genuinely happy at the prospect of Carol doing something that made her so joyful. “Is that something you could really do? How would you get all of it to New York?”

“I’d have to hire someone to move it all and I might need to go back and oversee that if we decide to do it.” Carol wasn’t oblivious to Abby's lack of bliss. It was clear that Abby wasn’t as excited about the prospects, but Carol knew once Abby saw all the amazing antiques, she would come around. “Of course, I could also just sell it all to an auction house, too, but that isn’t nearly as exciting.” 

“Carol, it sounds like an amazing opportunity, but I wouldn’t want you to get too excited until we deal with everything back home. You have a lot to deal with.”

“Elizabeth, ever the realist. I am fully aware of what is waiting for us and I’m terrified. I’m scared of being forced to go back to that hospital. I’m scared for you and Abby and how this could affect your career and your future. But I learned last year, around this time as a matter of fact, that I need to stand up for myself and what I want.” She reached over and took Therese’s hand. “And after facing everything from my past, I know that I cannot let fear drive me anymore. I know what I want and what I need to be happy and I will fight to get it. I will fight for all of you.”

Abby looked in the rearview mirror, “That’s the Carol that I know and love. Badass extraordinaire.”

<><><><><><><><><>

Tommy Tucker pulled into the drive way of his employer’s home, the tapes securely in his bag. He was met at the door of the large house by two people who escorted him into an office. Behind a desk sat an older, fat man with grey hair.

“Mr. Tucker, so nice of you to meet us here. You seem to have made excellent time! I take it your trip was successful?”

He sat down across from the desk, taking the tapes out of his bag. “I think I got what you needed. It should help you with your case.”

  
“Are you sure? What is on those tapes?” A skinny, plain looking man questioned.

“I will leave them with you, once I get paid of course, but to give you a preview, I believe you do have cause for concern in regards to her mental health. From what I saw, Mrs. Aird should indeed be in a hospital.”

“And those tapes can prove that? For sure?” the woman sitting across from him asked.

“Well her wailing and screaming at imaginary people should be enough to convince a judge, but if that doesn't do it, I believe she had something to do with the death of her father. What do you say Mr. Jamison? Is it enough?”

The lawyer thought for a moment and opened his briefcase to retrieve a check for $2000. “I believe it is indeed, assuming we get the right judge, of course.” He handed the check to Mr. Tucker. “This should be more than enough to compensate you Mr. Tucker.

"Pleasure doing business with you all." Tommy Tucker left the tapes on the desk as he left the house, his work now complete. As he drove away, he made a mental note to call Mr. Aird this evening. He would need to make his final report to him and collect his final payment from him as well. _Not bad for a couple of weeks of work._ He thought. _Who knew that Carol Aird would be such a gold mine?_

Back in the house, Stuart looked over at the lawyer sitting behind the desk. “Are you sure he can be trusted? I mean, maybe we should have listened to the tapes before you paid him.”

“Trust me, Stuart. Mr. Tucker is well known amongst lawyers and he comes highly recommended.”

“How did you learn of him, exactly?” Elaine asked, sharing her husbands concerns.

“I read the transcripts from the Aird’s divorce and I spoke with a few colleagues in New York. He is well known for being professional and efficient. I doubt he would do anything to harm his reputation.”

“But are you sure this will work? Will this get us what we want?” 

Stuart came over and placed a hand on his wife’s shoulder. “Elaine, we’ve talked about this. We just need to be able to prove that Carol is mentally incompetent and get her back under the care of Dr. Allen."

Mr. Jamison agreed with Stuart. “Rest assured, Elaine, Dr. Allen will take care of his part in this. He knows what is at stake and once we get Carol back in the hospital, he will take care of the rest,” Mr. Jamison explained. “I will listen to the tapes and assuming Mr. Tucker did indeed get us what we need, we will travel to New York and file the papers to get Carol put back in the hospital. Then I will make sure you are given power of attorney as her next of kin and her money will be yours.” 

“And you’re sure this can’t come back to hurt us in any way?” Elaine asked. 

“You aren’t doing anything wrong.” The older, heavy set man stood up and walked over to his client. “You are merely looking out for your sister, Elaine. I’m sure you only have her best interests at heart.” His face broke out into an evil grin.

“Obviously.” She agreed. “I do not wish to harm my sister, but she didn’t deserve that money. I am the one who took care of Margaret while Carol was off doing who knows what with her life!” Her voice was filled with anger and disgust.

“You don’t need to justify it to me, Elaine. My job is to protect your best interests. I know we had hoped to go about this another way but when Dr. Allen called after she was initially put in the hospital, well we would be crazy to pass on this opportunity.”

“Then we are all agreed,” Stuart added. “Carol will get the _help_ she needs and we will get our money.”

<><><><><><><><>

Abby parked the car in front of the large grey building and the four women made their way to the elevator that would take them to Fred’s office. After speaking with him regarding the issues with the police, Fred had agreed to help them clear everything up. They would meet at his office on Wednesday afternoon, before they went back to their respective homes, and Carol would be able to clear everything up with a signed affidavit stating she left the hospital of her own free will. Fred would go to the District Attorney’s office on Thursday and he was sure all the charges against the other women would be dropped. 

“Are we sure about this?” Abby asked. “We could just turn around right now and disappear, start over!”

Lizzie reached out and took her hand. “We can’t run forever, Abby. If we have any hopes of getting all of our lives back, we have to face this.”

Therese took a deep breath and leaned against Carol. “He promised we wouldn’t go to jail, right?”

“Yes, angel. They aren’t going to arrest us, we just have to show up and explain and the charges should be dropped.” Carol had complete faith in her lawyer and friend.

“Seems too easy.” Abby said as the elevator doors opened and they walked to the office. “I don’t know that I’ve ever been so terrified in my life.”

They all paused outside of the office waiting for Carol to go in first. Before opening the door, she turned around and looked at all of them. “I want you all to know that I appreciate everything you’ve done for me the past few weeks. Please know that I will forever be grateful for each of you.”

Carol opened the office door and led them past the secretary’s desk to the back office. They all froze when they saw the two police officers standing there with Fred. 

“Fred?” Carol questioned him, her face screaming with worry. “What is going on? You said no one would be arrested.” She reached back and took Therese by the hand, subconsciously moving to protect her. 

“They are not here for them, Carol.” There was a general sigh of relief through the office, until the next words came. “Elaine’s lawyer, Mr. Jamison, filed papers in court this morning. They are trying to have you declared mentally incompetent and these officers have been sent to take you back to the hospital for evaluation.”

All four women started to vocally protest and Therese grabbed on to Carol’s arms. “No. She’s fine! You cannot do that!”

“I told you this was too easy!” Abby declared vehemently.

“It’s only for the night, Carol.” Fred tried speak over them and attempt to calm them all down. "I have a meeting with your sister and her attorney first thing in the morning and then I will meet with the D.A about the kidnapping charges and by the afternoon we’ll be in front of judge getting this all handled. Once everything is explained, I’m sure the district attorney will drop the charges and we will secure your release.” Fred explained. 

“Wait,” Carol held on to Therese for dear life, her hands squeezing so hard she would probably leave bruises. She was unable to hide the fear and confusion in her voice. “What does Elaine have to do with any of this? Why would she file papers to have me hospitalized? I…I don’t understand.”

Fred took his glasses off and sat down at his desk. “Apparently they has evidence that you are not well, though I’m not sure what that can be as I’m looking right at you and clearly you are fine.”

“Tucker,” Abby said loudly through gritted teeth. “That fucking weasel and his tapes.” Her eyes flashed red with anger. “I’ll kill that son of a bitch!” 

Lizzie walked over to calm her down as the two police officers were now eyeing her guardedly. “Not the best way to deal with this, Abby. Read the room.” She whispered.

“Jesus Christ,” Carol said. “Not again. I can’t go back there. I will not go back into the hospital! That Dr. is trying to kill me, Fred! He wanted to give me a lobotomy for Christ’s sake!” She was becoming more emotional and borderline hysterical as the energy in the room started to crackle with anxiety.

Lizzie started pacing around the room nervously as her mind raced. She wouldn’t be there to help Carol this time and she knew what was on the tapes. “Lizzie, can they do this? Can they force her to go back?” Abby asked.

She nodded, “They can if they think she’s a danger to herself or others, but—“

“But what?” Carol shouted. 

Lizzie walked over to Carol and looked her in the eyes, needing to calm her down in front of the police. “You are sane, Carol and when go before the judge tomorrow, he will see that. But I won’t lie to you, we were all there for your flashback in Tacoma; What Tucker has on the tapes is clearly enough to call that into question, otherwise they wouldn’t have been able to get you taken back to the hospital. So, you need to keep your wits about you and be a model patient tonight. You cannot give them any reason to sedate you, or to question your mental or emotional stability. I will not be there to protect you, do you understand?”

Carol started to protest, but stopped when Therese screamed from behind her. “I still don’t understand why this is happening! Why is she doing this?” The tears were pouring from her green eyes.

Carol turned to look at her distraught lover and moved to comfort her. She wrapped her in a tight embrace, mindful of the watchful eyes of both officers on them. She placed a hand on her cheek and wiped away her tears. “It’s alright, Therese. I think I understand. This is about the money, isn’t it?” She turned and looked at Fred over her shoulder. “She wants my share, doesn’t she?”

“That would make sense,” he agreed. “We may be able to use that against her tomorrow, if you think we can prove it. Have you deposited the inheritance check yet?”

“It’s sitting on the table.” Therese couldn’t stop crying. “I wasn’t sure what you would want and I couldn’t ask you because you were in the hospital…and so I just…I never…”

“Shhhhh, darling. It’s alright.” Carol tried to reassure her, but her own rage and fear was rising to the surface now as well. 

“This is bullshit!” Abby called out to the heavens, daring to speak what they were all feeling.

Carol made sure that Therese was calm before she turned and walked over to Fred. “You said you will meet with Elaine and her attorney in the morning. I want to be there, Fred. I need to confront her.”

Fred thought for a moment. “I suppose I could have them meet us at the hospital in the morning. I will call and set it all up. If we can get them to drop the petition, it will be easy enough to deal with the D.A. and the rest.”

“Elizabeth should be there as well. She is my doctor, after all.” Carol added. 

“She no longer works for the hospital, Carol. I don’t know that—“

“I do not work for the hospital, but I do work for Carol.” Lizzie interjected. “I am responsible for her well-being and I can offer some insights into what happened in Tacoma and what they may have heard on those tapes.”

“I’m going to argue that the tapes should not be taken into consideration,” Fred added. “They were obtained illegally, you were not aware he was recording and he was trespassing. Legally speaking, they should not be able to hold anything on those tapes against you.”

Carol stood up straight and tall and turned to look at everyone in the room. Though she was attempting to look strong and determined, her fear broke through in her shaking voice. “I will go with the officers to the hospital. Make the appointment as early as possible, Fred. I don't want to be there longer than necessary and I especially do not want to risk spending time with Dr. Allen.”

“Carol,” Lizzie wanted to reassure her. “If you go in now, it’s after four. Dr. Allen wouldn’t be able to do anything aside from speak with you until tomorrow anyway, so you will be safe for tonight. Just remember to be a model patient. Stay calm, do not fight, do not argue, and Fred and I will be there first thing tomorrow morning.”

“What about the nightmares?” Carol asked. “They used to restrain me at night when I would have the nightmares.”

“You haven’t had one since we left Washington.” Therese noted having calmed down somewhat. She was trying not to fall apart in front of Carol and she knew this wouldn't help the woman she loved and she needed to be strong for her.

“Exactly,” Lizzie agreed. “There should be no reason to restrain you or to give you any pills. When we do an initial intake into the hospital, they need to evaluate the patient without anything influencing their behavior. Assuming they follow the protocols, you should only be observed tonight to see if you are truly a danger.”

“That’s a big assumption to make considering what he wanted to do to her last time.” Abby grumbled. “I don’t think this is a good idea! There has to be something else we can do!”

The officers were getting antsy, especially with Abby’s repeated statements, and one took a step towards Carol. “We should be going, ma’am.”

Carol took a step backwards and held up her hand. “Can you all give me one minute, alone, with Therese?”

The officers looked around the room nervously, but noted that there was no other way out aside from the main office door and agreed to give her a few minutes to say her good-byes. Lizzie, Abby and Fred walked with the officers out into the waiting area and closed to office door leaving Carol and Therese alone in his office.

“My angel, I am so sorry.” Carol came over and pulled her into her arms. “It seems the universe keeps testing us.”

Therese wrapped her arms around Carol’s waist and squeezed tightly. “I won’t be able to sleep without you. I hate being in that apartment alone.”

“You could go to Abby’s if you need. I’m sure she won’t mind.” Carol suggested.

“No. If I can’t be with you, I at least want to feel close to you and I need to check on the apartment anyway. I just can’t believe this is happening.” She pulled back and looked into Carol’s eyes that were watering. “Will you be alright?”

Carol tried her best to be brave. “So long as I know you will be waiting for me, I can survive anything. Will you come tomorrow?” Carol kissed her lightly on the forehead.

“Of course, I’ll be there.”

Carol let out a deep sigh, “I need you to do me a favor, Therese. I need you to call Harge tonight and tell him everything that is happening and see if he can come tomorrow, as well.”

Therese looked at her confused. “Are you sure?”

“I’m going to need all the help I can get. He hired Tucker, too, and maybe he knows something that will help us. If he is truly on our side, now will be the chance for him to prove it.”

“Okay, I will call him tonight. Anything else?” Therese felt Carol shift in her arms, but she refused to let her go.

Carol took off her ring and handed it to Therese. “Hold on to this for me.”

Therese unwrapped her arms and slowly took the ring in her fingers, her eyes quickly welling up. “I promised you,” Therese shook her head as the tears began to fall again. “I promised you would never have to take it off again.”

“This isn't your fault. Make me another promise that when this is all over, you will put in on my finger again…and…” Carol took a deep breath knowing this was not how she had planned to do this, but she also knew they both needed something to hold on to.

“What?” Therese looked up at her, her green eyes full of tears and questions. 

Carol leaned in close to she could speak softly. “Will you marry me, Therese?"

Therese gasped and covered her mouth to keep from crying out.

"I mean I know we can’t really, but I want to stand up before our friends and God and promise to spend the rest of our lives together as one. So, will you?”

To go from absolute despair to complete elation in under a second was jarring, but Therese now lit up the room with her smile and she lunged forward to capture Carol in a kiss. “Yes, I will marry you!” She pulled her as close as she physically could.

There was a knock on the office door. “Ma’am, we really need to get going.”

Carol tilted Therese’s head up and kissed her passionately. If the worst happened and it all went to hell, she wanted Therese to never doubt her love, so she tried to pour everything she felt into one kiss. “I love you, my angel. I will love you forever.”

“Don’t make this sound like a good-bye, Carol. You just proposed, or did you already forget? I will see you tomorrow morning.” Therese nearly crushed her ribs with her hug, but she didn’t care. “I love you, too.”

Carol kissed her again before calling for the others to come back in. “Well, I guess that’s that.” She winked at Therese before turning to the men in uniform. “Shall we go, gentlemen?”

<><><><><><><><>

Therese waited for the officers to leave with Carol before she hit her knees and let her world fall apart. Lizzie ran immediately to her side while Abby moved to confront Fred. “I need your word that this will not blow up tomorrow!”

“I can only promise to do my best, Mrs. Gerhard, but there are a lot of things working against us right now. First we have Carol’s history with, well, you know,” he motioned to Therese. “And then there was her breakdown. I will not get to hear the tapes until the morning, but you were there. Can you tell me exactly what is on them? The better prepared I am, the better chance I have of helping Carol out of this.”

Abby explained everything that happened at the house in Tacoma while Lizzie sat on the office floor with Therese trying to calm her down. “I know this is hard, but you have to be strong for her. We have a lot to do to get ready for tomorrow.”

“She told me to call Harge and have him there, too and then she proposed, Lizzie.” Therese said, trying to calm her sobs once again. "I can't lose her!"

Fred looked over at Therese and Lizzie, puzzled. “I’m sorry, but why would she want Harge there?”

“He has been helping us,” Therese explained as she stood, wiping her face with her sleeves. “He hired Tommy Tucker to follow us to Washington and to keep an eye on us and he was supposed to help us if the cops got to close. But Tommy was also working for someone else, Elaine I guess.”

Fred sat back at his desk and wrote down a few notes on his pad. “So you think we can trust him? Harge will vouch for her? No matter what?”

“I will call him tonight, but I imagine so.” Therese answered. She sat in a chair, the roller coaster of emotions was exhausting her. 

“Therese, I know Carol wants you there as well, but I really must advise against it.”

“What? Why?” She did not want to hear this. She told Carol she would be there, and come hell or high water, she would be there.

He sighed. “I know you love her and while I can’t say that I understand your relationship, she is my client and my friend and I will support her, but the bottom line is, in the eyes of the law, your relationship is illegal. I know you know that, Therese. Women have been placed in mental hospitals in the past for their affairs with other women and this could be another way for her sister to attack. But I’m thinking, if Harge is there, we could maybe convince the judge that they are working on a reconciliation?”

“Are you out of your mind?” Abby interrupted. “Carol will never go for that!”

“I promised her I will be there, and I will be there.” Therese said resolutely.

Elizabeth decided to weigh in, “Fred is right.”

“What?” Abby and Therese said in unison as they turned on her.

“If the tapes don’t work, they could make a case about the lesbian tendencies. Unfortunately, there are still people who believe it is a mental illness, including Dr. Allen. If they bring him in to testify, she’ll lose.”

“How does Dr. Allen know about Carol's _tendencies_?” Abby spoke through clenched teeth. “Please tell me you didn’t tell him, Lizzie.”

“Of course I didn’t _tell_ him!” Lizzie was insulted. “You know he broke into my office and read our session notes, which is in total violation of doctor-patient confidentiality rules, by the way. It was one of the reasons I worked so hard to break her out of there!”

“Fuck.” Fred leaned back feeling defeated. “We are really stuck here ladies. I won't lie to you, we really need this petition to NOT go before a judge.”

“What if we just gave her the money?” Therese spoke softly, clearly unsure as to whether or not her suggestion was ridiculous. “Carol said it was about the money. Well, we still have the check. Couldn’t we just give it back to her?”

“We can’t do that without speaking to Carol, obviously, but if she is right and this is all about the inheritance money, then it might be out best bet…well, our only bet.”

<><><><><><><><><>

Carol sat on the edge of her hospital bed. It was a different experience walking in on your own two feet and being conscious during intake. She had to change into a hospital gown as they took her clothes and jewelry. She was so glad she had left her ring with Therese. While her other pieces were indeed valuable, her ring from Therese was now sacred. She looked down at her naked finger and traced the outline of where her ring had been just an hour ago. _She said yes._

An orderly that she vaguely recognized had escorted her to her room earlier. “We aren’t going to have a problem with you this time are we? No escape plans? I don’t want to have to strap you to the bed.”

“I assure you that will not be necessary. I will be a model patient.” Carol said as she sat down on her bed. “Will I be meeting with Dr. Allen this evening?”

“I’m sure he will down soon.” Alfred said as he turn and closed the door behind him. She heard the lock and she let out a shaky breath. 

“I can do this.” She spoke softly to herself. “One night.”

She was still waiting, on the edge of her bed an hour later, tracing the outline of her ring, when Dr. Allen finally came her room. “Carol Aird. I do not believe we have formally met. I am Dr. Allen and I’ll be working with you from now on.”

Carol held out her hand, “Nice to meet you, doctor.” She felt the bile rise in her throat, but pushed it down. _Model patient, Carol…be nice._

“Well the last time I saw you, you were talking to the walls. You do seem to be in a better place, this evening.”

Carol smirked. _Don’t let him bait you. Don’t give him anything to use against you._ “I am feeling so much better.”

“Can I ask what brought about this change? It has only been a couple of weeks, so I am quite amazed at your progress.” He pulled a chair over and sat in front of her bed, so they were eye to eye.

She wondered how much to tell him and decided to keep all of her answers simple and limited. “I have been working with Dr. Green and I was able to deal with all of the events of my past and move past them.”

“The same Dr. Green who kidnapped you from the hospital?” He asked, tilting his head.

 _He’s trying to trick you._ “I believe that was a big misunderstanding, Doctor. I asked Dr. Green to discharge me.”

“You asked her, too? Is that why you were seen running through the lobby?” His eyes twinkled, as if he was enjoying their little game.

Carol smiled in return, “Well, we were in a hurry. Places to be, you know how it is.” She let out a fake laugh.

“Where did you go? The police were looking for you and it appears you travelled quite far!”

“Home.” Again, Carol kept it simple. 

“Mrs. Aird, they searched your apartment,” He said shaking his head. “Lying to me really doesn’t help you.”

“Please call me Carol, and I said I went home. We travelled to my childhood home in Washington State.”

“I see. That must have been quite the journey. Any particular reason?”

“As I'm sure you know, my mother died a few weeks ago. In my inheritance she left me a house and I needed to see the state of the property before making a decision as to whether or not to sell. It was all just business really.” Simple and true, she thought.

“Was it the death of your mother that led you to be admitted here in the first place? I believe you tried to hurt yourself and your daughter on the night you were initially admitted.”It was like a mental game of chess. He just needed to lead her along to get her where he wanted her.

She almost reacted to his statement about Rindy, but refrained. Carol could see him trying to manipulate her, to get her to admit to things that could be used against her. She took her time to think about each and every answer before she spoke. “I admit that I hit an emotional breaking point after the death of my mother, but on the night in question, I had no intention of hurting myself or anyone else. The way Dr. Green explained it to me, I was having a flashback of an event in my childhood and I was trying to protect myself.”

“And what was this event? Do you remember?”

Again, she paused, wondering if she should answer or not. Carol finally decided that being honest could not hurt her. “My father was an alcoholic and he abused my mother. I witnessed this and I was there on the night that he died. Apparently, I had blocked out the memories, but the death of my mother had caused them to resurface and so I needed to process that and move on. As you can see, I have.”

“I see, and did Miss Belivet travel with you?” He watched as her breathing hitched. Check mate.

Carol remembered all of the psychotherapy appointments she had endured during the divorce and her time apart from Therese. She was all too aware of what most psychiatrists thought of her and her feelings for Therese. She was sick and a pervert and her feelings were wrong and a result of her relationship with her parents. Carol realized that by telling him about her childhood, she had given him an opening, but now she needed to close it. “Yes, my _friends_ did accompany me on the trip.”

“Your friends? Is that how you refer to your current and former lover? Interesting. Are you sleeping with Dr. Green as well?”

“Of course not!” She said quickly, feeling her emotions get the better of her. She needed to reign them back in and quickly. “Dr. Green has been incredibly helpful in my recovery. And since _YOU_ fired her, she was free to travel with me and continue our therapy. That is all.”

Dr. Allen noted her change in demeanor. Carol's defenses were up now and he would get no more information from her this evening. He did feel the need to rattle her one more time, however. “Well, Carol, I am glad you came back so we can get you the help you need.”

“I do not need your help, doctor. As I told you, I feel much better.” She felt a shiver travel down her spine and realized that the man in front of her was planning on keeping her in the hospital. 

“I believe we meet with the judge tomorrow and I _wil_ l be recommending you stay here with us.” He said as he stood to leave.

“What? On what grounds? I am sane and clearly competent.” She started to shake and willed her body to stop. She did not want this man to see her break.

“You think your sexual desires make you sane, Carol? I believe you are sick and I have several new therapies in mind that I believe could help you overcome your sexual perversions.”

She glared at him, but did not reply. Her heart was racing and she knew if she spoke, her voice would be shaking. She would not let him win.

“Get some rest, Mrs. Aird. You have a big day tomorrow!”

<><><><><><><><><>

Therese walked around the apartment aimlessly at first. It was quiet and the air was still. She was going to go crazy if she didn’t stay busy, so Therese unpacked Carol’s suitcase and then her own. She walked down to the market on the corner and bought some essentials for the fridge. When she got back, she realized it was 8 o’clock, and she needed to call Harge.

“Hargess Aird, hello.” He always answers the same, she thought to herself. 

“It’s Therese.”

“Miss Belivet. Is everything alright? How is Carol?” He sounded genuinely concerned.

Therese sighed deeply and tried to figure out what exactly she needed say. “They took her back to the hospital.”

“What? Who took her? Therese, what is happening?”

“We went to Fred’s office this afternoon and there were police officers there and they took her. Elaine, Carol’s sister, has filed papers to try to have Carol committed. We are all supposed to meet at the hospital in the morning and Carol wants you there.”

Harge was quiet at first, as he processed everything that Therese said. Rindy came zooming into the room and sat on his lap, “Is that mommy?”

He looked down at his daughter and smiled. “It’s not mommy, sunshine. It’s Therese, would you like to say hello?”

Rindy jumped at the chance and grabbed the phone. “Therese! I miss you!”

Therese was overwhelmed with emotion. Things had been so crazy she hadn’t had time to miss the little girl who was like a daughter to her, but now hearing her sweet little voice she missed her terrible. “I have missed you too, Rindy. So very much!”

“Is mommy with you? I want to talk to her.”

“Mommy isn’t home right now sweetie. She had some things to do, but she wanted me to tell you that she loves you and she misses you and she will see you very soon!”

Therese couldn’t see it, but she could hear the sadness in Rindy’s voice. “Okay,”

“Can you put your daddy back on the phone? I really need to speak with him.” 

Rindy didn’t say good-bye before handing the phone back to her father and Therese felt something inside of her shift. She realized that she didn’t have time to wallow in self-pity because Rindy needed her mother and they needed to come up with a game plan. 

“Thank you for letting me speak to her Harge, I miss her so much. So does Carol.”

“I understand. She really does adore you. Now, can you tell me what has happened?”

“We think that they want to lock her away to get the inheritance. You know about the tapes Tommy Tucker made of her in Tacoma. Apparently he was working for Elaine.”

“Ahh, Mr. Tucker. Yes, I met with him this afternoon and that was quite enlightening and you are correct, he was working for Elaine. I wasn't sure to what end until you just confirmed it. However, I may be able to do something about that. I can prove that Elaine hired Tommy to spy on Carol and I’m sure Fred can use that to get the tapes thrown out.”

“How did you get him to admit it?” Therese wondered.

“Mr. Tucker relies on his reputation to keep his business steady and he is very motivated by the all-mighty dollar. If word gets out that he’s double dipping and selling information well there goes the reputation. I offered to doubled his check if he told me who else he was working for and he spilled his guts. At this point, I have him where I need him. Say the word and I can have him in court speaking on Carol’s behalf as well.”

“That is amazing!” Therese was starting to feel better. “We are meeting at 8am at Mt. Sinai hospital. Fred is going to meet with Carol and her sister first and see if she can get her to drop the whole thing and now with your help, I think we may just be able to do it!”

Harge agreed to meet them all at the hospital in the morning. There was no way Therese was going to be able to sleep so she dusted and vacuumed the apartment, took a shower, watched some television, and then tried to read a book while lying in bed. At 2am she rolled over and pulled Carol’s pillow to her body. “I miss you,” she spoke into the silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little all over the place, which is why I titled it transitions. There is a lot going on! Please share your thoughts and insights, especially now that you know who the bad guys are!
> 
> As always forgive me typos and grammar issues. I live in a beta-less existence. 
> 
> On a completely different note- I was inspired by a picture on Twitter today and I had an idea for another fic. Please tell me your thoughts. I was thinking of trying my first every alternate universe fic with Carol and Therese in the world of Criminal Minds. Older agent taking a younger agent under her wings? Solving a murder? Thoughts? Would it be something you would read? It is only in it's early stages and I will finish this one before putting pen to paper.


	33. setbacks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added this chapter tonight. It wasn't in my original story, but I had an idea in the shower this morning. Forgive any mistakes!

Elizabeth couldn’t stop pacing her apartment. Abby had dropped her off over an hour ago and she had managed to accomplish nothing since then. Her bags were not unpacked, the stack of mail was unread, and the food in the ice box was spoilt and needed to be tossed, but all she could think of was Carol. Abby had made a comment in Fred’s office concerned about the hospital not following protocols and while she didn’t react at the time, Lizzie now had a sickening feeling in her gut. But what could she do? How could she help her? Lizzie racked her brain and then picked up the phone. It was just after 6 o’clock so maybe there was time.

<><><><><>

At midnight, Dr. Allen, walked through the quiet psychiatric ward, a syringe in his coat pocket. He knew he had to time this just right for it to be effective. As he approached the nurse’s station, he was surprised to find a young red-head nurse working tonight. He had always thought she was beautiful and one of these days he would try to get her alone in an empty room. As he approached the desk he noticed that she was on the phone, so he pretended to look through some patient charts while he eavesdropped on her conversation. 

“Oh it’s no problem at all…Yes, I totally understand what you are saying…it’s amazing what a few compliments will get you…absolutely…try not to worry about it…goodnight.” She hung up the phone and looked up at the doctor flashing her green eyes.

As he looked down at her, he couldn’t help but notice her amazing facial structure. She really was a striking, young woman. “Mary? I didn’t know you were working tonight. Aren’t you usually on the early morning shift?”

She gave him a sweet smile. “Well hello there Dr. Allen. I could say the same about you. Don’t you usually work days?”

“Usually, but sometimes I like to come around at night and check in on the patients. Usually Nurse Betty is here, but I can’t say I’m disappointed to see you instead. She is such an unpleasant woman.” He leaned on the counter and gave her a wink.

“Well, I guess it’s your lucky night. I had to switch shifts, so here I am.” She shrugged her shoulders and started playing with a strand of red hair that was peaking from under her nurse’s cap.

Was she flirting? Maybe he could get her in that room sooner than later. “Well I stopped by because I need to give an injection to a patient in room 645, but once I’m finished, perhaps you would join me for a stroll around the hospital? We could get to know each other better.” He took the syringe from his pocket and set it on the counter.

“Hmmm…well I do need to make my rounds.” She leaned forward allowing him to look down her uniform at her ample cleavage. “I’m sure you have more important things to do than to give a simple shot, Dr. Allen. I can take care of that for you, no problem. And then once I’m finished with my rounds, I’d love to go for a walk, though we must be quite quick. I’d hate to get in trouble for not being at my station.” she gave him a little pout. 

He felt his heart pick up speed, she was definitely flirting. “I’m sure I could take care of any issues you have. I mean, you were only doing what the doctor on duty asked. I wouldn’t let you get in trouble.” He gave her is most seductive smile. 

“Why thank you Dr. Allen. That is very sweet of you.” She batted her eyelashes. 

“Uh…if…if it isn’t a problem.” He stammered, totally mesmerized by her breasts and her eyes. “I do have several _important_ things to take care of, so yes, can you see to it that this is administered to Mrs. Aird in room 645? I can come back in about an hour?”

She smiled and gave him another wink. “You doctors are so busy. You really should learn how to relax you know.” She ran her hand down his coat collar and then picked up the syringe from the counter. “Now run along and I’ll see you shortly.”

Dr. Allen stood up straight and tried to look distinguished as he walked away. Mary waited for him to get on the elevator before she let out a huge sigh of relief. “Fucking men.” She picked up the syringe and walked into Carol’s room.

<><><><><><><><>

Abby had picked up Lizzie at 7:15 Thursday morning, They had each had a stressful night and Abby was hoping to mend some fences this morning. “I’m sorry about last night. I know none of this is your fault, I just…I’m so afraid, Lizzie.”

Lizzie flashed back to their disagreement in the car after they had dropped off Therese. She knew that Abby was a ball of nervous, angry energy and she couldn’t really blame her, but she also wasn’t in the mood to be Abby’s punching bag. After more than a few snarky comments, Lizzie suggested that Abby just drop her off and they spend the night apart. It just made Abby moodier, but she did as Lizzie wanted and sped off after leaving her at the front of her building. 

For her part, Abby didn’t sleep. She cried, she screamed into the nothingness of her house, and she drank…a lot. She didn’t know what she would do if she lost Carol and she was pretty sure she would lose Lizzie too if that happened. She worried about Therese and wondered how she was holding up. Abby had tried to convince her stay at her place, but Therese insisted on being alone in the apartment.

Now that the sun was up, it was clear that neither of them had slept a wink based on the dark circles, but they did seem a little less emotional this morning. 

Lizzie leaned over and gave Abby a kiss on the cheek as they drove to pick up Therese. “You were scared, so was I. But I think I took care of everything.”

Abby’s face lit up! “Really? What did you do?”

“Let’s just wait till Therese is in the car and then I’ll tell you both at the same time.”

<><><><><><><><>

Abby, Lizzie and Therese were met by Fred in the hospital lobby and they all went up to the conference room together. The conference room, which was located on the second floor, contained a large oval table that could sit 10 people and a few chairs that lined the walls. They walked in to find Harge, Dr. Allen, Elaine, Stuart, and Mr. Jamison already waiting for them. 

Therese was suddenly hyper aware of her young age and didn’t feel comfortable sitting at the table, so she chose a chair against the wall and Abby came over to join her. Lizzie and Fred sat across from Mr. Jamison and Dr. Allen respectively, leaving Harge and Elaine at opposite ends of the table. The room was filled with an awkward silence and the tension was unbearable.

Fred was the first to break the unnerving quiet. “Will Carol be here soon?” he asked Dr. Allen.

“An orderly will be wheeling her in soon. I should warn you all, Carol suffered a set back last night and she is in pretty bad shape. Personally, I feel she shouldn’t be attending this meeting at all, but you have insisted, but we do need to keep this short.” 

Therese grabbed on to Abby’s arm and squeezed, her finger nails digging in to her skin. Abby reached over and placed a hand over hers and looked down as if to say, ‘it’s alright, don’t panic.’

“What sort of set back?” Lizzie asked. “Carol was fine when she arrived yesterday afternoon. She has been making remarkable progress since she left the hospital two weeks ago. I cannot image anything triggering another flashback at this point.”

“May I remind you, Dr. Green that you are no longer a doctor at this hospital? I do not need to explain—“

“I may not work for this hospital, but I do still work for Carol. She is my patient and I have every right as her doctor to know what happened last night.”

“She became unruly and we had to administer a sedative.” Dr. Allen explained.

“You did what?” Elizabeth stood, her face blood red with anger. “You violated hospital policy, Dr. Allen. You know as well as I, that Carol should have been considered a new patient and thus placed under observation only!”

“Again, you don’t work here. I am the head of the department and I will do what I feel is in the best interest of my patients.”

It was then that the conference room door opened. Alfred, the orderly, wheeled a clearly drugged Carol into the room. Her face was covered by a mop of blonde curls as her head hung down and a string of drool fell from her lips. Therese wanted to run to her and to scream and lash out at everyone in the room, but Abby held on to her with a vice grip now. 

The color drained from Harge’s face as he saw his ex-wife in this state. “Dear God.”

“As you all can see,” Dr. Allen continued, “Carol really isn’t in the position to leave the hospital at this point. After my session with her yesterday afternoon and then the events of the night, I am prepared to sign off on her commitment papers this afternoon.”

“Are you sure about that Dr. Allen?” Elaine asked, faking the appearance of a concerned sister. “I really only want what is best for my dear sister. I have been so worried since your initial call weeks ago. Is there hope for a recovery?”

Elizabeth sat back down, but gripped the side of the table so hard her fingers were turning white.

Fred was clearly confused. “Now wait just a second. You said you had to sedate her. How do we know this isn’t just drugs talking? Carol was in my office yesterday and she was completely coherent.”

“We only gave her a mild sedative to help her sleep. Dr. Green can attest, a mild sedative would not cause this severe of a reaction. What you are seeing now is more a result of her continued episodes.” Dr. Allen lied. “She really is a sick woman.”

“What are the next steps then?” Stuart asked, placing a hand on his wife’s shoulder as her alligator tears fell.

“I will sign the papers and you need only take them to the judge this afternoon. Clearly, Carol will not be able to speak for herself, so there really should not be any problems with getting the commitment orders.”

Mr. Jamison addressed everyone in the room. “I will be filing papers in court to have Elaine take over all of Carol’s financial affairs.” Mr. Jamison explained to everyone in the room. “There are substantial assets, and we believe it is in her best interest to keep the money in the family. Carol may require long term care and her sister can take care of that.”

“That won’t be necessary, Elaine. I am more than capable of taking care of my wife.” Harge spoke up. “You live in Virginia, how could you possibly see to her care from down there?”

“Aren’t you two divorced?” Elaine asked coldly. 

“Technically, yes. But she is still Rindy’s mother and I would want to make sure that Carol is taken care of for her.” Harge explained.

Therese said nothing. She just stared at the floor, her blood boiling in her veins. She knew she would not be able to hold back much longer. She just wanted Carol. She needed Carol. Abby looked over at Lizzie, her eyes begging her to do something and Fred was at a complete loss.

“No offense Harge, but I don’t trust you with my sister’s assets. In fact, it may be in her best interest to have Carol transferred to a hospital in Virginia, if Dr. Allen feels that would be possible.”

A single tear fell down Therese’s cheek. All was indeed lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Insert evil laugh here*
> 
> Don't hate me!


	34. resolutions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end for notes.

The air in the room was still and no one spoke for the longest time driving the tension to a breaking point. Elizabeth looked over at Carol and then at Abby and Therese and gave a slight nod. It was time to change the narrative. “I’m sorry, I just need to clarify a couple of things before I agree to release _my_ patient into the care of this hospital.” Dr. Elizabeth Green stood up and walked over to look at Carol as if she were examining her, looking into her eyes and feeling her pulse. Seemingly satisfied, she came back over to her seat. “First, I have been Carol’s doctor for a year now and at no point did I attempt to contact you Elaine. So, I’m confused as to why Dr. Allen felt the need to do so.” All eyes, except for Carol’s, turned to look at the doctor sitting at the end of the table.

The color drained from Dr. Allen’s face and his mouth opened to speak but he struggled to find an explanation. “Uhhhhh…well…It…uh…I believe…” He ran his fingers nervously through his hair trying to think of a rational answer. “The forms. The information was on the insurance forms, next of kin and all that.” He relaxed a bit, thinking his explanation would suffice.

A tiny smirk crossed Carol’s lips, but she did not lift her head and no one saw. _Strike one._

“Hmm…I’m fairly certain that Carol wrote down the name of Therese Belivet as her next of kin and emergency contact” Elizabeth countered.

His face went from white to red, knowing he was caught in a lie. “Well maybe it was in your session notes, then. I’m certain I read their information somewhere and I felt they should be contacted since they were family.”

“My session notes.” Elizabeth had him on the ropes now. “The notes you broke into my office and read without either my or Carol’s permission? Those session notes?”

HIs anger flared. “As I told you, Elizabeth—“

“Dr. Green, please.” She interrupted. “I’m sorry, you were saying?”

He let out a frustrated huff. “Like I told you before _doctor_ , I am the head of the department and I can look at any information I damn well please.”

Fred looked up from his file with a sly grin. “You know, I am not well versed in medical law, but I do know something about doctor-patient confidentiality. I believe it would be highly unethical, to say the least, for you to have read those notes without Carol’s permission.”

_Strike Two._

“Oh, for Christ’s sake!” Elaine interrupted. “I contacted Dr. Allen when Carol was first hospitalized, okay? Does that clear up this mess so we can move it along? I do have other things I need to take care of today.”

Mr. Jamison’s eyes went wide. “Elaine! You need to let me do the talking! I need you to—“

“How did you know Carol was in the hospital?” Therese spoke up now. She had been listening, patient, and waiting. She glared at Elaine with her piercing green eyes. “I didn’t contact you, Harge didn’t contact you. In fact, to my knowledge, no one has spoken with you since we left the will reading. So how did you know Carol was in the hospital?”

 _That’s my girl._ Carol thought. 

Elaine looked at her lawyer and Stuart for help, but they remained silent and stoic. Her lawyer shook his head as if telling her to remain quiet. 

“I think I can answer that,” Harge answered on their behalf. “You see, I hired Mr. Tucker recently to follow my ex-wife while she was travelling. But Mr. Tucker failed to mention that he was already employed for a similar venture.” He looked over at Therese. “He was hired by Mr. Jamison right after the funeral to spy on you and Carol. Isn’t that right, Mr. Jamison?”

The room was silent.

“Cat got your tongue, sir?” Harge stared him down.

“We don’t have to sit here and put up with these accusations!” Elaine's voice came out a higher pitched tone than she had intended. “I’m not the mentally unstable pervert!”

 _Strike three_. Carol’s head shot up. “Is that what you think of me, sister?”

There was an audible gasp from one side of the table as Dr. Allen, Elaine and the others struggled to make sense of Carol’s sudden, miraculous recovery, but no one on Carol's side seemed to be surprised.

“What is the meaning of this?” Mr. Jamison demanded!

“I don’t understand...you were faking?” Dr. Allen was shaking his head. “But I had you sedated!”

“Yeah, about that…” Lizzie explained how she had called her friend Mary and how Mary called nurse Betty and begged her to switch shifts at the last minute because of a ‘family emergency’. 

“Mary was just supposed to keep an eye on Carol for me, but then you showed up with the syringe and well, she had the sense to intervene. She never gave the sedative to Carol.” Lizzie’s face lit up as she continued, “She did however, tell Carol how to fake it; how to hang her head and even how a little drool would be even more convincing. And then she called me back and well…you can figure out the rest.”

Lizzie and Carol smiled at each other. “Maybe I should take up acting.” Carol looked back at Elaine, “I had a feeling you were after the money; I just needed to confirm the lengths you would go to get it. And now I know. You would have me drugged? Shocked? Lobotomized?”

Elaine stood, her emotions now out of control! “You didn’t deserve that money! You hated her and barely even spoke to her! You didn’t help her when she got sick, but I did! And yet you got half? NO! That money should have been mine!”

“So what, you were going to blackmail me?” Carol screamed back.

“Elaine, you really need to—”

“Oh, shut up, Larry!” She screamed at Mr. Jamison before turning back to Carol. “Yes, that was the plan!” She threw her hands up in the air. “Tucker was going to get us pictures of you and your abnormal behavior, but then you went nuts and that was going to work out even better for us! Dr. Allen was going to make sure you never recovered and I would get power of attorney and take the money back! But then your little deviant friends broke you out of the hospital before we could carry it out!”

Carol’s hands were in fists by her side and her whole body was shaking with rage. “you greedy bitch.” Her voice had dropped to a deep growl. “You would wreck my life and that of my family for $250,000!”

“People have done more for less!” Elaine was still screaming. “And you know what? I still have enough to destroy you! We have the tapes. You murdered your father!”

There was a dramatic pause before Carol finally started laughing.

“Actually, she didn’t.” Lizzie said calmly as she leaned back in her chair.

“What? But we heard you! You basically confessed with your breakdown…” Stuart spoke up for the first time since all the yelling began. He was trying hard to keep up with everything. Carol had been faking, their secrets were out, and now what they had on tape was useless?

“You ignorant prick!” Abby had remained silent during the entire process, but she could not help but laugh as well at the absurdity of it all now. “Tucker ran out of the house before he got the whole story!” She nearly doubled over now in a fit of laughter.

There was absolute confusion radiating from one side of the table. “Carol’s mother killed her father that night, trying to protect Carol.” Lizzie explained. “That was the cause of her flashbacks. She remembered and her childhood nannie confirmed it.”

Fred felt the need to interject some legal advice. “Even if she would have been involved, she was six at the time and no charges were filed against her. I’m not sure how exactly how you were planning on using that information.”

Carol stopped laughing and her blue-grey eyes turned fierce, “What else do you have?”

Elaine was quiet for a moment, staring back at her and feeling defeated, until she looked over at Therese. “Her.”

Therese’s eyes grew wide in confusion. “What about me?”

“Your sick, perverted, and abnormal relationship with that child!” She screamed accusingly at Carol.

Carol moved to jump from her chair, but Fred reached out an arm to stop her. “NO!”

“You wretched, self-righteous, cunt!” Carol screamed!

“I seem to have struck a nerve!” Elaine’s eyes flashed. “Your twisted lifestyle is illegal, dear sister. It’s all I _really_ need to have you committed.” The evil look that came over her face sent a chill down Carol's spine and she froze.

She knew Elaine was right and that her relationship with Therese was all the court needed to ruin not only her life, but Therese’s life and career as well. Carol looked over at Therese, seeking solace in her eyes, but she only found fear. Did Therese think she would let her go after everything that had been through? Did Therese think she would choose the money over their love? Carol thought briefly of all of the things she had wanted to use the money for- how she had wanted to offer to pay for Therese to attend college or to help her open a photography studio. She had considered buying a house in the suburbs close to Abby, too. Now all those plans were meaningless. Her life with Therese, Rindy and her friends, however, held immense meaning. They were far from destitute and she knew they would still live a very comfortable life without the inheritance money. She gave a small smile to Therese before turning back to Elaine, “Take it.” There was no anger left in her voice, only resignation. 

“Therese did you bring the check with you?” Carol asked.

Therese stood and pulled the check from her purse and walked over to hand it to Carol. Before she could turn and walk back to her chair, Carol was wrapping an arm around her waist, keeping her close to her side.

“Take the money, Elaine, because what I have is so much more valuable.” Carol looked up into the bright green eyes that had become her sanctuary. “I have the love of the most beautiful, amazing woman, who supports me through everything and though not legal, I pray she will marry me one day.” She then looked around the room at Abby, Lizzie, and Fred. “I have the most incredible friends, who would literally give up their lives for me. Hell, Elaine, even my ex-husband is in my corner. I also have a beautiful, brilliant, daughter who lights up my world. I do not need this money to be happy…unlike you apparently. So, take it and then _get the hell out of my life_.”

“Are you serious?” Elaine eyes looked like the would pop out of the sockets. “You are just giving it back?”

“Here.” She handed her the check. “I don’t want this money, but…” Carol paused. “I do want to keep my house in Washington. As I’m sure Mr. Tucker can attest, the house is in very bad shape. You would probably spend all of that money trying to fix it up. So, you take the $250,000 and I will keep my childhood home. And then I never want to hear from or see you ever again. Is that enough for you?”

Elaine looked over at her lawyer and husband who both nodded at the deal.

“Good. And now to deal with you.” Carol turned her eyes to burn into Dr. Allen.

“What about me? I have done nothing wrong!” Dr. Allen tried to act innocent. “I’m just as shocked by all of this as you!”

“HA!” Lizzie laughed. “Are you kidding me? You violated hospital policy and were willing to permanently harm a patient for financial gain, thus violating your oath as a doctor!”

“You can’t prove any of that!” He said defiantly.

“Oh really? Mr. Tucker, could you come in here please?” Lizzie called behind her.

There was another loud gasp as a small side door to a storage closet opened. Tommy Tucker appeared, recording devices clearly in view. “Did I fail to mention that Mary helped Harge and I with one other task last night? While you were wandering the halls with Mary and she kept you distracted, Mr. Tucker and I were able to sneak in and set up his microphones. Not only will I be sending these tapes to the hospital board, but I will also be filing an official complaint with the medical board to have your medical license revoked.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” He was enraged and slammed his fist down on the table.

“Dr. Allen, try not to be so hysterical! I believe we already have all the evidence we need and from what I hear Mr. Tucker is very efficient, so if I were you, I’d resign before they could fire me.”

Dr. Allen shot daggers out of his eyes, but Lizzie just smiled. “Why doctor, you seem very upset. No need to be so emotional.”

Abby came over to stand next to Elizabeth, feeling incredibly proud of her lover. “I’m surrounded by all these badass women!”

Elaine, Stuart, and Larry Jamison left the room with their money in hand, feeling as if they had won the day. Harge helped Tommy Tucker pack up his equipment and walked out with him, not trusting him to be alone with the tapes. He promised to call Carol later to make arrangements for her to see Rindy as soon as possible. The four women were left alone with Fred and they all let out a collective sigh.

“Well,” Carol relaxed, still holding on to Therese. “That’s that.”

Fred pulled a paper out of his file. “Alright Carol, I need you to sign this affidavit stating that you checked yourself out of the hospital and then I am heading directly to the courthouse to meet with the D.A. I will call you this afternoon, but I do not foresee there being any further problems.” 

Carol signed the paper and Fred left them all alone. Abby and Lizzie stood arm and arm as Carol stood from her chair and wrapped her arms around Therese. “Take me home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you forgive me now?


	35. planning the future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some happy after a long angsty ride!

It was April 17th, and had only been a couple of weeks since they had officially checked Carol out of the hospital, come home, and started the process of rebuilding their lives. To Carol it felt like an anniversary of sorts and she had wanted to do something special for Therese, but it was Saturday and she would not pass up her first full weekend with Rindy since everything had happened. 

Rebuilding the relationship with her daughter was going to take time and she knew that, but still it was frustrating. The first time Harge brought Rindy over after Carol was released, she had been scared and hesitant around her mother. She refused to spend the night and stayed close to Therese the whole time she was there . Watching her daughter cower away from her left Carol with a great sense of guilt over everything.

“You know I love you very much, don’t you?” Carol asked her soon to be six year-old. “I am so sorry if I scared you or I hurt you when I was…sick, but you know I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose, don’t you?”

“You aren’t sick anymore?” Rindy asked. “Daddy said you were in the hospital for a long time and I couldn’t see you and then daddy said you had to go away for a while on a long trip.”

“I did have to go away, all the way to the other side of the country! Therese and Aunt Abby were with me and it took us 6 whole days to get there. But I was able to get better and then came right back to you.” She tried to reach out to hold her daughter, but Rindy just hid behind Therese’s legs.

“You don’t have to be afraid of your mommy, Rindy. I promise you, she won’t hurt you.” Therese tried to help as the tears welled up in Carol’s eyes. 

Carol turned and wiped the tears away, not wanting Rindy to see her cry. “Tell you what, why don’t we all go to the park? It’s not too cold today and you could swing and maybe we could even see some of the animals out at the zoo?”

Rindy’s face lit up and she ran to put her coat on as Therese walked over and placed an arm around Carol’s waist. “It won’t always be like this. She just needs time to see that you are alright.” She leaned up and kissed Carol’s cheek.

“I know. It’s still hard to see her afraid of me, though. I guess I deserve it.”

"Don't say that." Therese looked at her seriously.

Carol and Therese got their coats on and out they went to spend a Saturday afternoon at the park. Later that afternoon, Carol called Harge and asked him to come get her. “She doesn’t want to stay the night...no, I’m not going to force it…thank you...yes, we’ll try again next weekend.”

And now here they were, the next weekend. Carol made it a point to call and speak with Rindy every night on the phone during the week. If this was going to work, she needed everything to be perfect and so far it had been. Rindy had actually let her mother hug her and they had sat on the couch and watched the television for a while. Therese suggested she and Rindy go to the park and take some pictures while mommy made dinner and Carol knew they would be back any minute. She had just set the table when her two bundles of joy came bouncing into the apartment. 

“Well hello my special girl! Did you have fun at the park?” Carol smiled down at her.

“I did! Therese let me take some pictures with her camera and she’s going to develop them for me tonight!” Rindy said excitedly. 

“That sounds super special! I can’t wait to see your pictures.” Carol’s heart melted. Rindy adored Therese almost as much as mommy did.

“What’s for dinner mommy?” Rindy asked as she and Therese washed their hands in the kitchen sink. 

“I made your favorite, sweat pea!” Carol said as she placed the casserole down on the table. 

“It smells amazing,” Therese offered as Rindy sat in between her two mothers. 

“So, Rindy and I were thinking of making pancakes in the morning. Would you like that?” Therese asked Carol, smiling. It was her subtle way of letting Carol know that Therese had convinced Rindy to stay the night. 

“Well can I help make the pancakes?” Carol asked. “Rindy used to love it when I would make her funny shaped ones. We could do that.”

“Of course you can help, mommy!”

Carol leaned over slowly and placed a kiss on her daughters head and smiled when Rindy didn’t shy away from her. Maybe April 17th was her lucky day after all. 

She reminisced on everything had happened in the year since Therese had not shown up at the Oak room. She thought of her first visit to the hospital after the night of binge drinking and how that eventually led to Therese coming back into her life and how that brought Lizzie into both her and Abby’s life. She thought of all the firsts they had experienced after that, birthdays, holidays, and then how it had almost fallen apart again. _No more_ , Carol thought. They deserved a peaceful, happy, passion filled life and she was going to make sure they got it. 

That evening, Therese kept her promise and went to her darkroom to develop the pictures. She told Rindy they would be dry in the morning. Carol got Rindy ready for bed and read her a bedtime story. As she was walking out of her daughters bedroom, she heard Rindy ask a question. 

“Mommy?”

“Yes, love?”

“Are you sure you are all better?”

Carol hung her head and walked back over to Rindy’s bed and sat next to her. “One day, when you are little bit older, I will tell you everything about how mommy got so sick. But for tonight, I just want you to know I am not sick anymore and the things that were making mommy sick are gone.” She kissed Rindy on her head. “I love you more than anything in this world, sweet pea. And I’m so sorry that you go scared, but I promise that it will all be better from now on.”

“Mommy?”

Carol giggled, “Yes, love?”

“Are you going to marry Therese? You both wear special rings now and Daddy said people wear special rings when they get married.”

“Oh my, did he now?" Carol ran her fingers through the small blonde curls on her daughters head. "How would you feel if I married Therese?”

“I told you I would be the flower girl!” Rindy smiled.

“Yes you did. So I guess that's that. I am going to marry Therese and when that happens, you will be the prettiest flower girl there ever was. Now get some sleep. You have some special pancakes to make in the morning.”

Later that night while lying in their bed, Carol and Therese discussed their future. “Rindy is prepared to be the flower girl at our wedding, by the way.” Carol smiled. 

“Well we mustn’t keep her waiting for long,” Therese smiled back and leaned in to kiss her. “When do you have to fly back to Tacoma?”

Carol had decided to leave the furniture store and had planned to fly back to Tacoma the next week. She needed to finalize the arrangements of getting everything from the house brought back to New York and it was going to be no small feat. She had decided to sell some of the more valuable pieces to an auction house in New York so she could get a decent chunk of money quickly and then she would use that money to open the antique store she wanted. She had hoped that Therese would fly with her to help her take pictures and catalogue everything, but it wasn’t going to be possible.

Therese had gone back to work and admittedly it was hard to get back into the swing of the 9 to 5 schedule. After missing so much time, she felt like a new employee all over again and her bosses definitely treated her as such. She would have to work her way back up in their eyes, but she was up for the challenge. Taking more time off to fly with Carol to Tacoma was just not going to be possible if she wanted to keep her job. So Therese had taken time to teach Carol how to use the camera instead and promised to develop all of the pictures when she got back. 

They both hated the idea of spending time apart, but Therese knew it was necessary and that their future depended on the treasures in the attic. “I do wish Abby could go with you.”

“I do, too. But I’m scared to ask after everything that happened. I know she is incredibly busy with Lizzie and I would hate to cause them any more problems.”

“Carol, she is your best friend. It wasn’t that long ago that she wanted to reopen a store with you.” Therese rolled on her side so she could look at the beautiful blonde.

“I know, but she didn’t seem all that excited when I mentioned it in the car on the way home.” Carol rolled on her side as well, and now they were gazing at each other. 

“Well it was hard to feel excited about anything when facing possible arrest. Maybe ask her again?”

“You know, for someone so young, you are incredibly wise.” Carol teased her as she ran her fingers down Therese's hip.

“I really am.” Therese nodded and agreed and Carol smacked her. 

“Wise enough to fall in love with you anyway.” Therese rolled over on top of Carol and kissed her passionately. 

“I want to do it soon.” Carol whispered into her ear. 

“I was thinking about right now,” Therese teased her and kissed down her neck.

“I mean getting married,” Carol sighed in pleasure as Therese kissed her way down her body. “I don’t want to wait.”

Therese looked up into the blue-grey eyes she adored. “I don’t want to wait either. How about the first weekend in May? You will be back from Tacoma and we’ll have Rindy. Who are we inviting again?” She rested her head on Carol’s stomach.

“Abby and Lizzie, Fred, and I guess I’ll ask Harge, though I’m not sure if he’s ready for that. Dannie and Phil? Anyone else you want to invite?”

“No. That sounds perfect. Where do you want to do it? Here at the apartment?” Therese asked.

“I was thinking on the water somewhere. Outside…maybe at the beach?”

“Are you sure that is safe?” Therese’s brows furrowed. “Out in public like that?”

“It will be before Memorial Day, so I don’t think it would be too busy. We can just try to stay off to ourselves. And then we can all have a picnic on the beach after.”

“Sounds heavenly.” Therese sighed.

“Anywhere with you is heaven.” Carol ran her fingers through Therese’s hair. “God, I don't think you will ever know how much I love you, my angel.”

“I love you, too.” Therese started kissing her way across Carol’s stomach, slowly inching down. “Speaking of heaven…”

<><><><><><><><><><>

Dr. Elizabeth Green was not used to being unemployed and it was causing her to be an anxious mess. She had followed through on her threat to send the tapes of Dr. Allen to both the hospital and medical boards and while he did have his license suspended indefinitely, the hospital did not offer Lizzie her job back. In fact, after being rejected by three other hospitals in New York, and seeking jobs in other cities, it became clear that Dr. Allen had somehow had her name blacklisted. No hospital would even return her calls. She was heartbroken, but Abby tried to keep her spirits up.

“He must have friends in high places. I guess I should have kept my mouth shut.” Lizzie sighed and sunk back into her couch, vodka tonic in hand.

“At least his career is over for good. You are still a doctor. Have you ever thought of just going into private practice? I’m sure you would be successful once word got out that you were gay-friendly. We could even see about opening you an office in the village!” She said excitedly.

Lizzie rolled her eyes. 

“I’m not joking!”

“I know you aren’t, but Abby it is incredibly difficult to start a private practice, especially being a woman. I may just have to start looking in other countries.”

“Because that would be easier? You could reach out to your previous clients from Mt. Sinai, and then build from there.”

“You want me to poach patients from the hospital and other doctors?”

“No, I want you to reach out to _YOUR_ patients and tell them that you are opening a private practice. And I want you to open the office in the village and believe me, it will not take long for word to get out that you are _friendly_.”

“And how do I pay the bills in the meantime, Abby? It could take years to establish myself.”

“You move in with me and let me worry about the day to day while you build your dream.” To Abby this all just seemed so simple. 

Lizzie was silent. She thought back to the battles she had with her ex-husband. He wanted her to be a stay at home mother and was never supportive of her dream of being a doctor. And here was Abby, a woman who was willing to literally support her while she built her dreams. “Abby…” there were tears in her eyes. “It’s just so fast.”

Abby walked over and sat next to Lizzie on her sofa. She took the glass from her hand and set it on the coffee table and then placed a chaste kiss on her lips and took her hands. “I know it seems fast, and I know that scares you, but Lizzie, I _KNOW_ what I want. I want to build a life with you. And you can move in with me or I can sell my house and move in with you, but I know how I feel. I love you and we can do this!”

Lizzie reached up and cupped Abby’s face. “My little optimist. And what if this plan of yours doesn’t work. What if I can’t build my own practice?”

“We try and if after a few years it isn’t working, then I will move with you…anywhere in the world.” Abby smiled. “But I’m telling you, it will work. Even if I have to go up and down the streets passing out flyers, or take out radio ads and billboards. We can do this!”

Elizabeth just stared at her incredulously. “I love you, Abigail.” She leaned in to kiss the ever optimistic brunette. “Yes, I will move in with you,” she whispered.

Abby beamed! “Really?”

“It would be silly to sell that beautiful house for an apartment and the commute into the city isn’t that bad. Especially if I make my own hours. And now I guess you should call Carol.”

“What? Why?” Abby wasn’t sure why their conversation suddenly turned to her best friend.

“If we’re staying here, you can help her open the antique store. If I get to go after my dreams, Abby, so do you.” Lizzie leaned her body into Abby's. 

“Are you sure?” Abby felt like she was going to explode with happiness. Was all of this real? Was she really about to get everything she wanted? 

“I’m sure…but call her tomorrow. I have other plans for you tonight.” Abby winked and stood up to walk into the bedroom. “We should say good-bye to this apartment the right way.”


	36. life's little frustrations

Abby and Carol were back in Tacoma. They had flown in and the plan was the stay for approximately two weeks while they readied all of the items stored in the attic for moving. Abby strolled around the attic absolutely stupefied. “Carol…this…this is…Jesus Christ!”

“I know.” Carol said smiling. “It is overwhelming.”

Abby walked over to a group of paintings that were leaning against a wall and covered with a blanket. She took a peak underneath and gasped. “Oh my God! Is this what I fucking think it is?”

Carol hadn't had a chance to look at everything in the attic space yet, so she wasn't sure what Abby was referring too. She walked over and looked under the blanket.   
“I’m not sure, but we'll have it taken to Sotheby’s to be authenticated, just in case." Her eyes twinkled with excitement. 

“Carol…if it is real, you’ll be a millionaire!” Abby was almost bouncing.

“Wouldn’t that be something?” Carol was trying not to let herself get too excited.

“Jesus Fucking Christ!” Abby shouted! “Do you have any idea what all of this means? I don’t understand! How is all of this just here? How did no one tell you? Why would your mother just leave it all behind?” The questions came pouring out and she couldn’t understand why Carol wasn’t more excited.

“Mrs. Cranston said the majority of it belonged to my father’s estate and my mother didn’t want anything to do with it after he died, but she knew it was valuable, so I guess she just left it to me to deal with. I wonder,” she paused. “I wonder if being a child, surrounded by all of this, is why I love antiques and art so much?” Carol walked around and looked at various pieces. She made started to make mental lists of items she wanted to keep and those she knew would sell.

“Maybe.” Abby nodded. “So where do we start?”

“So I have Therese’s camera. I need to take as many pictures as possible before we have anything moved. The appraiser from Sotheby’s will be flying in tomorrow, but I don’t want anything to go ‘missing’. He assures me it won’t happen, but I need for us to have an idea of what all there is and the condition it is in.” 

12 dusty and dirty hours later, Carol and Abby were finally heading back to the hotel for the night. “We really could have stayed at the house, Abby. There was power and water and—“

“Ghosts.” Abby added. “Power, water, and ghosts! You will never convince me that place isn’t haunted!”

“You are a nitwit!” Carol laughed. 

“What time is the appraiser getting in tomorrow?” Abby said mid-yawn.

“He’ll be here early, like nine I think.”

“Jesus, it’s already after 11. No rest for the wicked.” 

“Apparently not.” Carol stared out the window as the taxi driver drove down the quiet streets. She was missing Therese terribly. Abby understood. Being away from Lizzie was proving to be difficult.

“I guess it is too late to call home?” Carol asked no one in particular. 

“Too early for them, I guess. It’s what? 3am in New York?”

“Three hour difference. 2 am I think.” Carol corrected her. “I’m calling anyway, even if just to say good-night.”

“Same.” Abby smiled. 

<><><><><><><><>

The Sotheby’s appraiser was not disappointed. After seeing only a few of the items, he was making arrangements to have the more delicate items that Carol wanted to sell through the auction house packed up and moved to New York. His truck would arrive on Monday the 26th and the items would be processed the first week of May. The earliest they would see auction would be the week of May 10th, but Carol knew this would give her time to the rest of the items moved and to set up the new store, but in the mean time she was depending on Abby to finance everything up front. 

They arranged for the other moving company to arrive on Tuesday the 27th for the remaining items, which meant they only had one week to get everything catalogued and packed. They were working a minimum of twelve hours and day, and Mrs. Cranston was nice enough to keep them fed whenever they were at the house. Carol would call Therese every day, if only to tell her she missed her and loved her. Abby would do the same to Lizzie. By the following week they were both physically and mentally exhausted and both absolutely miserable from being so far from home.

When the Sotheby’s truck arrived on Monday as schedule, Carol and Abby let out a sigh of relief. The contracts were signed and the most valuable items were taken care of. On Tuesday, the other moving truck arrived, but it was too small. The driver apologized for the mix up but explained that he would have to come back the following day with a larger truck. Carol was stressed to say the least, as she and Therese were supposed to be getting married on Saturday. On Wednesday, the new truck was late and didn’t arrive until late afternoon and even though they worked until the point of exhaustion, there was no way they would finish and be able to make their flights. Carol called the airline to have her flight pushed to Thursday. 

“You know, you could just move the wedding to the following weekend.” Abby suggested as she lifted another box onto the truck. The men from the moving company had left for the night and would be back in the morning to finish loading. 

“Absolutely not!” Carol replied.

“What is one more week? I mean it’s not even legal, Carol. It’s just a bunch of us hanging at the beach while you and Therese make some promises that you’ve likely already made to each other. There isn’t a church or a caterer, no huge dress to pick up. Really, it’s no different than a picnic. So just push it back.”

Carol froze and glared at her friend. “Is that what you think of marriage in general? Or just mine?” Carol’s eyes flashed like a deep blue storm. 

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.” Abby replied with a sigh. 

“Do you think you will ever want to marry Elizabeth?” Carol kept glaring, eyebrows furrowed.

“Oh, it is waaaaayyy to soon to be discussing that!” Abby laughed trying to lighten Carol’s mood.

“I am marrying Therese on Saturday, Abby. This Saturday come hell or high water. I have waited my entire life to feel this way about another person, and THIS marriage, while it may not be legal on paper or recognized by anyone but us, feels more real than the “legal” one. And after the nightmare I have put Therese through the past few months, she deserves for this day to be special! So I have to get home!”

“Okay, okay” Abby acquiesced. “But I can’t lift another thing and the moving guys won't be back until in morning. We will have the truck loaded by tomorrow afternoon and be on our way home Thursday night. That should give you plenty of time."

<><><><><><><><><><><>

Carol was a ball of nervous energy on the flight back to New York and Abby was thankful for the drinks offered by the flight attendant. 

“I spoke to Lizzie this morning. She was going to call Therese today and see if she needed any help with the arrangements for Saturday.”

Carol turned to look at her best friend. “I’m sorry if I’ve been an absolute monster this week. It’s just between the wedding and the house, I’m wrecked.” She sounded exhausted.

“This should be the happiest time of your life, Carol. Just relax and let it all happen.”

The night flight should have allowed them both time to sleep on the plane, but the turbulence was awful. “I think I’m going to throw-up,” Abby looked green. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.” The voice came over the speaker system. “Due to some worsening weather conditions over the great lakes and the northeast, we are being diverted to land in Washington, DC. Flight attendants will meet you at the gate upon our arrival to help you secure flights into New York as soon as the weather permits."

It only took a few seconds for the weight of his announcement to hit Carol and the tears started flowing. “I guess I’m not getting married this weekend after all.” 

Abby reached over and took her hand to try to comfort her. “We may still make it home on Saturday, but even if we don't, how about Sunday?”

“Harge won’t let Rindy stay with only Therese, so I’d have to call him and see if I could get her on Sunday.” She said through sobs. “I just wanted it to be perfect, Abby.” 

Abby knew if was more exhaustion speaking than anything else. Under normal conditions, Carol would be handling all of this better, but between the traveling and the packing and still recovering from the events of February and March, Carol was indeed a wreck. “Look, we can’t do anything from up here. We’ll both get on the phone as soon as we land. It will all work out, Carol, you’ll see.”

They landed in Washington early Friday morning, but there were no connecting flights to New York due to the weather. “We could rent a car and drive back,” Abby suggested, but Carol could tell she was too fatigued to make that drive and since the earliest they would be able to fly out would be Saturday afternoon Abby recommended they check into a hotel and get some rest. They both needed to make phone calls and rearrange some things anyway.

Carol called Therese and as soon as she heard her voice the tears started again. “Oh dearest, I am so sorry. It just seems like everything is working against us.” 

“It’s okay Carol. I can wait. Do you need me to call Harge?” Therese asked. She was trying to stay positive but the disappointment was still clear in her voice. 

“No…no, Abby is down in the hotel lobby and she said she’d take care of calling him and then she was going to call Lizzie that way I could talk to you. I miss you so much, dearest. You have no idea.”

“I think I do and I miss you, too. I love you, Carol, and I know this is not what we wanted, but I’d wait for you forever. One more week is nothing.” 

“And yet it is everything. I just can’t stand to be away from you, angel. If I ever have to travel again, you are coming with me. I can’t sleep unless I can feel your body next to mine, and I miss the feel of your skin and the smell of your hair.” 

Therese giggled into the phone, “You’d better stop now. My fiancé is a very jealous woman and if she knew someone was flirting with me over the phone she's be quite upset.”

Carol finally let herself smile. “She’s the possessive type, huh? I can imagine she would be with a hot little thing like you in her bed.”

Therese's face turned red at the compliment.

“I can hear you blushing from here…God…what I would give to see you and kiss you and make love to you right now.” Carol sighed into the phone.

Therese let out a moan. “The things you say…the way you make me feel…Carol…I miss you…” Therese whispered into the phone and Carol felt her insides melt. 

“I will see you tomorrow, angel. I love you.”

“Tomorrow. Good night, Carol. I love you.”

Carol rolled over and held herself as she cried herself to sleep, desperately missing her beautiful love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really happy with this chapter. I've revised it several times and finally just decided that it is what it is. Let me know your thoughts. Only a few more to go (40 chapters total...I think).


	37. Surprises

After making what felt like a million phone calls, Abby finally returned to the room. She was excited to tell her friend about her surprise, but found Carol curled up and asleep and decided not to wake her. If it all worked out and they pulled this off, it would be the best surprise ever and she would need her energy.

Carol slept through the afternoon and all through the night. She woke early Saturday morning to find Abby wide awake and in a very good mood. “Good morning, sunshine! Got get showered! I’ve rented us a car and we’ve got a drive to make!”

“But we have a flight this afternoon, Abby.” Carol yawned. Despite all the sleep, she still felt tired.

“Yeah, I cancelled those.” Abby explained as she busied herself by packing her suitcase back up.

That woke Carol up. “You did what? Why would you do that?” Carol was alarmed and upset. “I wanted to get home today, Abby, even if we couldn’t get married!”

“Stop yelling at me because I have a surprise for you, nitwit! Now go get showered and dressed. We need to leave by 9!” 

Carol begrudgingly did as she was told. There wasn’t much she could do about it now since their flights had been canceled. She did the math in her head, it was at least a six hour drive to New York from D.C. Even if they drove, they would get home around the same time as their flight arrival. 

Carol was surprisingly untalkative on the drive, staring out the window. 

“You seem very melancholic for someone who is going to be a rich and married woman.” Abby smirked. “What are you thinking about?”

“I guess I’m just being impatient, Abby. I know it is all going to happen, but after everything Therese and I have been through, I think I’m just waiting for something else to go wrong. Every time we are stable and happy, something happens and I just don’t want the bottom to drop out from under us again.”

“That is understandable.” Abby reached over and patted Carol’s hands. “But right now, I need you to trust me. I’ve always had your back and I always will, and today is no exception.”

“What does that mean, Abby?” Carol looked over at her confused. “Can you at least tell me why driving when we had flights already?” 

“You’ll see!” Abby smiled as she continued to drive. Three hours later, they were pulling off the highway and heading to Wilmington, Delaware.

“Why are we stopping? Are you tired? Do you want me to drive for a while?” Carol was asking impatiently. She really wanted to get home. 

“Oh no, we are staying in Delaware tonight.” Abby said it like it was no big deal.

“What!?” Carol shouted. “Abby, I told you, I want to go home!”

“I think you’d be very lonely if you did that.” Abby said, leaving Carol with a perplexed look on her face. She pulled the directions out of her purse and told Carol to read them to her. “Just help me find this place.”

They arrived at the Hotel Dupont right around noon. The twelve-story building was incredibly elegant and luxurious. Carol felt like she had just walked into a 5-star hotel in Paris. “What are we doing here, Abby?”

Abby ignored her and walked to the reception desk and checked in, making sure that Carol couldn’t hear anything that was said to the desk clerk. They were immediately escorted up to the ‘historic’ suite, which was a large 1500 square foot room on the top floor. 

“Will you please tell me what is happening?” Carol said as she walked around the most gorgeous room she had ever seen. 

“This is part of your surprise. Did you see the view? There are the gardens down there and if you look out you can see the river.”

Carol looked out the window. “It is incredible, but I still don’t’ understand what we are doing here.”

The room phone rang, and Abby went to answer it. “Yes…please show them up to our room and I will handle everything from there.”

Carol was a smart woman and as she looked around the room and then up at Abby, she started to put it all together. “Oh my God! You…you arranged all of this in one day?”

“And it was no easy feat, believe me! Especially with your attitude! We also got incredibly lucky with this suite!” Abby was all smiles now.

“She’s here? Therese is here?” the water works were starting in Carol’s eyes again.

“Therese, Lizzie, Rindy, Dannie and Phil are all on the way up to this room as we speak. And later this evening, after we’ve all changed and gotten settled, you and Therese can stand right there in front of those beautifully grand windows with that amazing view and say your vows and then we will go enjoy a fancy dinner in the restaurant downstairs. The rest of us have other rooms in the hotel and then tomorrow, we will all drive back home. Surprise!” 

Carol ran over the hugged her best friend. “How did you…” Carol paused, “Abby…I don’t know what to say?”

“You say thank you, you stoop!” Abby smiled and returned Carol's embrace. “I’ve always had your back and I always will, Carol. I know it isn’t a wedding on the beach, but hey this way we don’t have to worry about weather or sand.”

Carol smiled as the tears fell. “My Abby always saves the day.”

Abby stepped back and looked her dead in the eyes, “And don’t you fucking forget it!” 

There was a knock on the door and Carol ran to open it. She was completely overwhelmed when Rindy came bounding into her arms. “Mommy!”

Carol twirled her around in her arms and then looked over at Therese and the others. “I can’t believe this!” She was going to explode from happiness. She backed up to let them all come in to see the beautiful suite. Carol looked at Therese with a mischievous grin. “You knew about this and didn’t tell me?”

“Lizzie called me yesterday afternoon after we got off the phone. It’s been a whirlwind, to say the least!” Therese smiled. “I had no idea the hotel was going to be this grand, though!”

Phil and Dannie looked around the room, wide-eyed. “Jeez Therese! This is some swank place!”

“I’ve never seen anything so elegant before.” Therese mused as she wandered around the room. “Look at this furniture…and these windows!” 

Abby was incredibly pleased with herself for pulling off the surprise but was desperate to get some alone time with Lizzie. “Alright, I have room keys for Phil and Dannie. You two are a few floors down. Room number is on the key. And Lizzie, this one is for me, you and Rindy. We are one floor down.” 

“But I want to stay with Therese and Mommy!” Rindy demanded. 

“Lookie here, peanut,” Abby walked over to look at her goddaughter, “Aunt Lizzie and I were planning on taking you to the pool later, but if you’d rather stay up here with no pool, then—”

“No! I want to go to the pool!” Rindy interrupted! “Mommy, can I go to the pool?” 

The term ‘Aunt’ was not lost on Elizabeth. She crossed the room to hug Abby. “Hi, there. You look extremely pleased with yourself.” 

Abby wrapped her arms around Lizzie and pulled her in tight. “Hello, yourself. I’ve missed you and I am! Do you see how happy they are?” 

Phil and Dannie suddenly felt incredibly out of place with all the women. “So, uh, we’re just going to head down to our room and give all your girls some alone time. What time should we be back up here and ready for the big event?”

Abby looked at her watch. It was only 1 o’clock. “Be back at 4. That gives us all three hours to get washed up and ready. Afterwards, we have dinner reservations in that grand dinning room, so make sure you are all dressed up, gentlemen.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Dannie said as they left the suite and headed to their room. 

Carol set Rindy on the bed and she immediately started using it as a trampoline while Therese continued walking around the room, her eyes still wide with wonder. “I’ve never seen anything so fine.” 

She walked up behind Therese and wrapped her arms around her waist. “I have and she’s right here,” she whispered into Therese’s ear. 

Lizzie and Abby took their bags and announced that they would be heading to their room. 

“You two better go enjoy the next few hours of alone time.” Carol winked as they left exited to their room. 

Rindy wanted to stay with her mother and Therese for now, but she promised to go to Abby and Lizzie’s room after dinner, in exchange for an after-dinner swim of course. Carol didn’t mind having Rindy with them. She had missed both of her girls terribly and was extremely grateful for the time they were getting together. . 

“This is the largest bed I ever saw, mommy!” Rindy said as she fell backward and spread out. “I want a bed like this for my room!”

“You’d get lost in it, sweet pea.” Carol laughed and tickled her daughter, lying beside her. “Oh, how I have missed you both! Can you believe this?” She rolled over and looked into green gems, as Therese laid on the other side, creating a Rindy sandwich. 

“When Lizzie called me and told me Abby’s plans, I was a little overwhelmed, but I never expected this!” Therese smiled shyly. "This hotel, this room...it is all so grand."

“At least you had some warning! I found out when we got here!” Carol smiled and looked longingly at Therese. “I have missed you, dearest.” She reached out and stroked Therese’s face as Rindy suddenly bounced off the bed and ran into the bathroom.

“Mommy! This tub is as large as a swimming pool! I can just swim in here!” 

“I think that would make Aunt Abby very sad.” Carol called across the room. “She has been so excited to take you swimming and to get to have a sleep over with you!” Carol explained.

Therese blushed. “I know the feeling.” 

Carol looked over at the young, beautiful brunette laid out on the bed and gave her a wicked smile before placing a quick kiss on her lips, mindful of Rindy in the other room. "We will be doing a lot of things n this bed tonight, but sleep will not one of them," Carol said with a wink.

Lizzie and Abby walked into their room and set their bags down. Before she knew what was happening, Abby was being shoved up against the back of the room door. Lizzie’s kisses were setting her on fire and her hands were immediately needy and touching her all over. “I’ve missed you so much!”

Abby started walking them back towards their queen-sized bed. “I can tell.” She smiled into their kisses. "Better show me how much now, since we won't be alone tonight."

Lizzie's eye's burned with passion. "I can do a lot in three hours, Miss Gerhard."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can look up the hotel if you want to see pictures.  
> https://www.historichotels.org/us/hotels-resorts/hotel-du-pont/media-gallery.php


	38. the wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much fun writing this one! Please share your thoughts and remember, Kudos are love!

Carol stood in front of the large windows in their suite and stared out over the lights of the city. It was a truly breathtaking view. Abby walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist and placed her head on her shoulder. “Are you ready to get hitched?”

Carol smiled and leaned back into her dearest friend. “I am more than ready. Abby, I will never be able to thank you enough for this…for everything. I love you.”

“I love you, too, nitwit.”

There was a knock on the door and Carol’s heart began to race.

“Relax, it’s just the guys. Lizzie and Therese will still be another few minutes,” Abby said as she walked over to open the suite door. "You two look very handsome!"

In an attempt to keep at least a little tradition, Therese had gone down to Lizzie and Abby’s room an hour ago to get ready and Abby had come up to the suite to help Carol and Rindy get ready. The first time they would see each other in their dresses would be during their little ceremony. They had also taken off their rings for the last time and given them to each other. 

Rindy was now sitting in front of the TV, waiting to be the best flower girl ever. Therese had made her a special basket and they had gone outside earlier to collect some petals from the flower garden behind the hotel. "Is it time yet?"

"Not yet, peanut!" Abby called. "I'll come get you in just a few minutes."

“So, are you both going to walk down the aisle? Is there going to be an aisle? How is this working?” Dannie asked, looking incredibly dapper in his suit. “I mean, Phil could take you and I could take Therese if you wanted.”

Carol smiled at the young man. “You are so sweet and Abby is right, you both look very handsome. I think it will just be Therese and I’m going to stay here. I’ve done the big wedding and the walking down the aisle thing and I really just want to be able to watch her. But I’m sure she would appreciate you escorting her.”

Dannie nodded and walked over to stand by his brother while Abby worked quickly to rearrange the suite a bit to create an aisle. Carol stood by the window thinking of everything she wanted to say. There was not going to be a minister or anyone officiating this, so it was really just going to be Carol and Therese promising to spend their lives together. Still, she thought, more real than anything she had said to Harge.

There was another knock on the door as Lizzie let herself in, leaving Therese standing in the hall. She walked over to Abby and asked her where she wanted her. “You go stand behind Carol. Phil, you, too! I will walk with Rindy and Therese can follow us. Does that work for you Carol?” She asked.

Carol only nodded. It was time. She looked down at her blue dress and rubbed her hands nervously down the front of the fabric. 

“You look beautiful,” Elizabeth said as she came to stand beside her. “So does Therese.”

“Pictures!” Carol suddenly shouted. “I didn’t think about taking pictures!”

“I’m on it!” Phil looked around the room and grabbed Therese’s camera from the bedside table. 

Abby walked over to the door and peeking outside. “You ready?”

Therese only nodded and smiled nervously as she stared at her feet. Dannie walked out to join her in the hallway, but they kept the door open. Abby grabbed Rindy and her basket of petals. “Ok, peanut! You are on.”

There was no music, no flowers, no minister…just a room filled with the most important people in their lives and a window overlooking a beautiful scene…and it was perfect.

Carol had a huge smile on her face as she watched her daughter make a big show of showering the floor with petals as she walked towards her mother. “You are doing an excellent job, sweet pea.”

Dannie took Therese’s hand and wrapped it around his arm. “Shall we?” 

“We shall.” She walked through the hotel room door and the world fell away. Carol was standing by the window dressed in a beautiful, form fitting, light blue dress that had flowers going down the front of one side. Her eyes were wide and sparkling. 

Carol looked at Therese in complete adoration. Her knee length white dress was new and incredibly fine. She remembered picking out the dress at the shop together a few weeks ago, but she had never seen Therese in it. Therese felt it was way too expensive and elegant at the time, but now as she saw the way Carol was looking at her, she knew it was worth it. Carol found it hard to breath; Therese was absolutely spellbinding. 

Dannie walked Therese towards the windows where Carol was standing, her eyes now glassy with unshed tears. “You look like an angel.” Carol whispered as Dannie stepped back to stand behind Therese. Lizzie stood behind Carol, Dannie stood behind Therese, and Rindy and Abby came to stand in front of them. Together they formed a semi-circle around Carol and Therese. It was a magnificent scene.

“You look so beautiful,” Therese said softly as she now stood in front of Carol. “So how do we do this?”

“We just say what’s in our hearts. Do you mind if I go first?” Therese shook her head as Carol moved closer and took both of Therese’s hands in her own. She looked deep into her green eyes and let out a shaky breath. 

“My dearest angel…I struggle to find the words that can ever express what you mean to me. Even now, I look at you, so breathtakingly beautiful and words just fail me.”

Therese blushed as Carol continued. “I love you, Therese Belivet and standing here, before our friends and family and God, I pledge my heart, my soul, and my life to you. From the moment I first saw you, I knew you were meant to be mine, my one true love for always.” Tears started to fall from Carol’s eyes, as her heart nearly pounded out of her chest. “I promise to keep you safe, to stand by your side, and to do everything in my power to make you happy. As we continue to build this life together, with _our_ daughter, I promise to help you build your dreams and to be your greatest supporter. In good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, until the end of time, I am yours.” Abby held out her hand showing the two rings in her palm. Carol took Therese's ring and smiled. "With this ring, I thee wed." She placed the ring on Therese's finger.

Therese was crying, but they were tears of absolute elation and joy. She resisted the urge to pull Carol into her arms and kiss her senselessly. Instead, she took a deep breath and looked into the blue-grey eyes that brought her complete solace and spoke what was on her heart. “Carol, my love, my best friend, my soulmate, I stand here before our friends, family, and God and pledge my heart, my soul, and my life to you." She started by repeated Carol's words to her. "No matter what life brings, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, I pledge to stand by you.” She took a deep breath and moved a little closer. “I fall more in love with you each and every day, with your beauty and your mind and your heart. I cannot imagine my future without you and _our_ daughter. As we travel this road together, I promise to cherish and honor you and your heart, forever. You inspire me to be better and to be stronger and I promise to love you for all eternity. I am yours.” Therese took Carol's ring from Abby. "With this ring, I thee wed," she said as she placed the ring on Carol's fingers. "I pray to God that you never have to take this ring off again."

Carol pulled her into her arms and kissed her deeply and passionately. She knew this was it, her heart was home, forever.

It was only when Rindy started to giggle that Carol remembered there were other people in the room that she broke off their kiss. Everyone smiled and Abby leaned down and whispered something to Rindy. She nodded and then looked up at her two mothers as she repeated what Aunt Abby had said to her, “We now ‘ponounce’ you wife and wife!” She beamed and ran over to join her mother’s as the room broke out into cheers. Therese and Carol lifted their daughter into their arms, and each kissed a cheek. 

*Snap* Therese heard her camera for the first time and realized that Phil had been taking pictures of the whole thing. She felt incredibly grateful that they would have these memories.

Lizzie wiped the tears from her face. “That was so beautiful. Congratulations!”

Carol looked over at Abby and then back at Lizzie. “You two are next,” she winked. Hugs were shared by all and more kisses were exchanged between Carol and Therese before Abby finally announced that they all needed to make their way downstairs for their dinner reservations. 

The meal was indeed incredible, but Carol was too distracted to eat much. All she wanted was to get Therese back up to their suite and make love to her, as her wife. As the waiter came over to offer the dessert tray, Carol leaned over and whispered something to Abby and then to Therese, who was blushing again. Phil, Dannie, Rindy and Lizzie all made selections for dessert, and as the waiter left, Carol stood to address the table. She kept her voice low, though it was loud enough for everyone at the table to hear. “I want to thank you all for sharing this day with us,” she looked down at Therese. “I cannot tell you how much it means to have you all here. Thank you for making this day so special. Abby, my friend, my heart, I do not know what I would do without you. Thank you for always saving me. Lizzie, I think it’s safe to say I wouldn’t be here today without you. Welcome to our little family and thank you for loving my friend Abby. Boys,” she looked at Dannie and Phil. “Thank you for always supporting Therese and for joining us this weekend. I know your friendship means the world to her.” She looked over at Rindy who was kicking her feet under the table, anxious to see what her mother would say to her, but also anxiously awaiting her chocolate cake. “And to my special girl, my sweet pea…thank you for being the most perfect flower girl in the world. Therese and I love you to the moon and back.”

Rindy smiled. “I love you, too.”

“Now, I want you all to enjoy your desserts, but I am desperate for some alone time with my wife.” She looked down at Rindy, “Be good for Aunt Abby and Aunt Lizzie and have fun at the pool.” She kissed her on the cheek. She then looked down at Therese and motioned for her to join her and they made their way out of the dinner room. They didn’t touch or speak as they took the elevator up to their suite. Once inside, Carol took Therese by the hand and walked her over to the middle of the room and gave her a quick spin. “I couldn't wait any longer to be alone with you and if this was a traditional wedding, we would have our first dance together now.” She pulled Therese into her arms. “Will you dance with me?” She whispered and nuzzled her nose with her own.

“We don’t have any music.” Therese smiled and melted into Carol's arms.

“Can’t you hear it?” Carol kissed Therese’s neck and up behind her ears. “I hear music,” she started to hum _Easy Living_ as they danced slowly. 

“Carol…” Therese whispered into her ear after a few minutes. “Today was incredible.”

“You are incredible.” Carol looked into her eyes. “I love you so much, Therese. And right now, I want to show you.” She leaned down and kissed Therese slowly and gently at first, but it only took a few seconds for the heat between them to build. Carol continued to kiss her as she reached behind her and slowly unzipped her dress. “You looked so beautiful in this dress, my love.”

“You looked amazing in yours as well,” Therese’s said in a low husky tone as she unzipped Carol from her dress as well. They stood in in front of each other in bras, panties, and heels. 

“God…” Carol shook her head, unable to fathom the beauty before her. “You are truly magnificent.”

Therese reached behind herself and unhooked her bra and then lowered her panties and removed her heels. She stood beautifully naked before her bride. “Make love to me, Carol.”

Seeing Therese so forward sent a surge of heat through Carol’s body and she lunged forward, capturing Therese’s lips. She pushed her back to the bed and stretched out over her. Therese removed Carol’s bra and then helped her slip her own heels and panties off until they were both naked and wrapped together. 

Carol tried to be patient, but the heat building in her core was making it hard. She wanted to take Therese, to make her scream out her name and to take her to new heights. Therese couldn’t catch her breath, completed overwhelmed by the scents and sensations. Even though they had been together for a year, it truly felt like their first time all over again. 

They kissed and touched and licked and sucked through multiple orgasms. They marked each other’s bodies in unseen places and went deeper and deeper into each other until the early hours of morning until they were absolutely spent. The room was hot and smelled of sex and passion when they finally pulled the sheets over them and passed out wrapped in each others arms. 

The phone rang at nine am to wake them up. “Hey lovebirds. We are all heading down to breakfast, if you want to join us. Check out is at 11.” Carol moaned something incoherent into the phone and hung it up. 

“Abby?” Therese questioned as she pulled Carol back into her body. 

“Mmmhmm…do you want to go to breakfast?” She asked, kissing Therese on the forehead.

“We did work up quite an appetite last night. I’m starving.” Therese giggled. 

Carol looked down and gave Therese a mischievous grin. “I can give you something to eat.”

“Oh, you are insatiable,” Therese leaned down and sucked on Carol’s nipple. She would never tire of her beautiful wife's breasts. She looked into Carol's eyes and her eyes lit up in a beautiful smile. "You are my wife."

Carol opened her legs and placed Therese’s fingers into her hot, wet, center. “Yes, I am.”

They missed breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Therese's dress: https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIP.coJsEXa6qxl4RQCw_yss5wHaLI?w=182&h=274&c=7&o=5&pid=1.7  
> I know it isn't time period appropriate, but I don't care.
> 
> Carol's dress: https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIP.U-_iEyegulHKujZwBuPCewHaKl?w=182&h=260&c=7&o=5&pid=1.7


	39. A perpetual sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything comes full circle...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end for notes

Therese set another box on the floor of her new kitchen. The heat was really getting to her. Carol walked up behind her and smacked her on the butt. “Taking a break already, _Mrs_. Belivet?”

She still smiled every time Carol referred to her as Mrs. “It’s so hot, Mrs. Carol _Belivet_.” She stressed the last name. 

Carol’s smile lit up the room. While she had not officially changed her name, in her house and to her friends, she was now known as Carol Belivet and she loved it.

“Why did we pick the hottest day of the year to move?” Therese whined.

“This heat wave is horrendous.” Carol agreed. “Let’s take a break and get something cold to drink.” The new modern kitchen was large and open with the latest appliances and features. Carol had insisted they splurge on a house with a nice kitchen since they would have to cook more after moving out of the city. The refrigerator was already stocked with Coke, beer, juice and a large carafe of water. “What would you like, dearest?”

“Coke please.” Therese sat at their new kitchen table. All of the furniture and the majority of the boxes had been moved in to their new home the day prior. All that was left to move were some small boxes and clothes from the apartment. “I feel like we just did this.” Therese ran a sweaty hand through her hair, pushing it out of her face.

Carol handed her a cold bottle of soda and kissed her on the head. “Well it was only a month ago that we were helping Elizabeth move into Abby’s house. And then there was setting up the store and the studio. I guess we have been moving a lot of stuff recently!” Carol sat across from Therese and took a long swig from her own Coke. “But today should be the end for…well until Rindy goes to college!” Carol smiled again. She was happier than she could ever remember being. 

The Sotheby’s auction had been incredibly beneficial for Carol. To say they were set for life was an understatement. She quit her job at the furniture house to open her own store with Abby, repaid Harge the money they had borrowed, and bought a house in the suburbs in the same neighborhood as her best friend. At first, Therese had insisted on keeping her job at The Times despite their wealth, but after a few cross encounters with her boss, Therese finally walked out. She realized that being a woman, she was never going to be promoted from clerk in any case. One week later, Carol walked Therese to a vacant store front two doors down from her new antique store. 

“What is this?” Therese was confused.

“What are your thoughts on opening a photography studio, angel? We could lease this place and you could do studio photography, special occasions, or even create a gallery? Or all of the above! The point is, you can create your dream. And we could drive into the city together each morning?”

Therese was overwhelmed and despite being on a public street she turned and wrapped Carol in her arms. “This is amazing! I don’t even know what to say?”

Carol kissed her on her temple and pulled back. “What kind of wife would I be if I didn’t support your dreams?” She whispered.

So while Abby and Carol were setting up their store, Therese was setting up her studio. A few weeks later, they were house hunting. Even though they both loved their apartment, Carol didn’t want to continue to waste money on rents when they could own something. She kept calling it an investment, and Therese didn’t really care, so long as she was with Carol. They bought a house a few blocks from Abby and today they were finishing their move. Carol was delighted to be in the “country” again, but still close enough to the city that they could commute to work each morning. They would also be closer to Rindy and Carol hoped she would get to see her much more now that things with Harge were peaceful. 

There had been so many changes in such a short time. Therese thought of everything they had gone through just since February, and now here they were in July, moving into their new home. And just in case Therese thought life couldn’t get any better, Carol was about to gift her with one more surprise, she was just waiting for the right moment. 

“Anyone home?” Abby called as she and Elizabeth walked in to the new house. “Wow! You two have been busy! The place looks great!” Lizzie and Abby lived only two blocks over. She loved having all of her friends and family so close to her.

“Thanks.” Therese took a long drink of her Coke, finishing it off. “Every muscle in my body hurts.”

“I’m sure Carol will help you work those knots out later tonight…or next week in—“

“When we try out our new bath!” Carol interrupted loudly, shooting a look over at Abby and shaking her head.

Therese saw the looks exchanged. “Next week in what? What is going on?”

Lizzie punched Abby in the side. “Way to ruin the surprise, big mouth.”

Carol let out a defeated sigh. “Well I had wanted to tell you tonight over a romantic dinner…you know…our first night together in our new house, but I guess the cat is out of the bag.”

“We’re getting a cat?” Therese was too hot and tired to guess.

Lizzie and Abby both started laughing. “God, can you imagine Carol with a cat? The fur all over the place?”

“No, dearest,” Carol smiled and ran her finger down Therese's face. “We are going on a honeymoon.”

Therese’s eyes lit up. “Where? When?”

Carol remembered sitting on a roof and Therese saying something very similar. “Next week, through the first two weeks in August, you and I are going to Europe.”

Therese found some energy she didn’t know she had as she flew across the kitchen into Carol’s lap. “Are you kidding me? Oh my God! What about the store? What about the studio?” The questions came pouring out in her excitement.

“Abby will take care of the store, my love, and I’m sure you can reschedule any appointments you have. Abby and Lizzie will watch the house while we’re gone. It’s all taken care of.”

Therese started to cover Carol’s face in kisses. “I love you, I love you, I love you…”

Abby faked a disgusted face, “Yeah, you two can do that later. We came over to see if you wanted to go have dinner with us.”

“We figured you would be too tired to cook tonight and would still be unpacking kitchen boxes and such.” Lizzie offered.

“How does that sound, angel?” Carol kissed Therese one last time. 

“I’m soaking wet, I will need to shower.” Therese looked down at her body.

“No need to brag,” Carol gave her sexy grin and a quick nip on the neck tasting the salt of her sweat. She looked up at Abby and Lizzie who were giggling at their flirtatious nature. “We can go out. But we have a few more boxes in the car and then we’d both need to get freshened up. If you two help, we can finish faster.”

Over dinner at Abby’s favorite local bistro, Lizzie talked about her new adventures in private practice. She had managed to get a few of her patients from the hospital to come over and she had a couple of new clients as well. “It’s a start.” She shrugged.

“Do not let her fool you. She is doing great!” Abby added. “It’s really only been a month and she has 5 clients!” Abby was beaming with pride. 

Therese excused herself to the ladies room and Lizzie went with her, leaving the two best friends at the table with their martinis in hand. 

“Are you happy?” Abby reached out and took Carol’s hand. 

“Oh Abby,” Carol smiled and sighed. “Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine feeling this happy and content. I know it took quite a lot to get here, but look at us now…both of us!”

“I know.” Abby returned her smile. “It’s sickening isn’t it? Being this happy all the damn time?” They both laughed. “I have to ask, Carol. I’ve been worried ever since the art auction. Have you heard from Elaine? I keep waiting for her money grubbing self to weasel back in to your life.”

Carol shook her head. “No, but Fred sent her lawyer a letter right after they left town reminder them that we now had tapes of her confessing to try to have me committed to get my money. He was sure that would keep them away.”

“Do you think she knows you’re a millionaire now?”

“I’ve done my best to keep my name out of the papers, but I’m sure she has her spies. Can you imagine her reaction?” Carol laughed just as Therese and Lizzie returned from the bathroom.

“What’s so funny?” Therese asked as she scooted in the booth up next to Carol.

Carol placed a hand on her thigh under the table. “Oh we were just discussing how happy we were, dearest.” She reached out to pick up her drink and it began to topple over, but Abby quickly grabbed it before a single drop spilled. “Always saving the day.”

The four friends sat over dinner reminiscing over the last year of their lives, feeling joyous and free. Carol knew she was right where she was meant to be and that she was going to live happily-ever after. They all were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is the end my friends. Thank you all for going on this journey with me! I appreciate all of your kind words and encouragement along the way. I did go back and read the whole thing this week and caught a few mistakes. I don't know how you all put up with my endless typos and bad grammar!?! I also didn't realize I had given Carol's stepfather and father the same name, so I fixed that as well. 
> 
> Please take time to comment and send your thoughts and such on this story. I love ya'll!


End file.
